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Spider-Man 3 (2007)
4/10
betrayed
7 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Spiderman 3 is perhaps one the most disappointing films I've seen recently. Probably from high expectations, both considering the director, previous Spidermans, and the potential for greatness.

I sat for a good 15 minutes in the theater with my buddy and vented so this is gonna be difficult to structure, but I'll try.

Story: It's a convoluted junk heap that jams so much in you wonder if it ever saw the inside of an editing studio. The film completely loses it's arc, and the simplistic and proved three act narrative of a film which is all you need, transmogrifies into a stop-start cluster of story lines, false endings, and miss-edited cutaways to other characters, it's hard to keep from booing the screen. And everything is so unilaterally surmised with bull Aunt May sayings, Mary Jane whining, and Peter Parker overdub voice-overs, it feels like they made this movie as an after-school special. And they certainly didn't make it for the fans. Or for smart people.

The menage-a-junk of bad guys deprives any of having a decent representative back story or complexity. Sandman is a joke of inexplicable origins and non posed questions. Hayden Church does nothing but growl like Stay Puff the Marshmallow Man. His motive is classic-good guy-turned bad guy in that he just needs money for his crippled child. Yawn. And again, Sandman growls and bellows like some kind of Godzilla contemporary. He's a real man, why would he growl? The detailed explanation of Dr. Octopus's get-up and Green Goblin's hormone therapy or whatever are almost buy-able. But now Sandman can fly through the air? Really? Ummm, OK....

And Venom. Sigh...... What makes Spiderman so special? He's not the strongest or fastest or smartest. Actually, he's pretty smart, but whatever. Yet he has something no other character has - his Spidey Sense. The ability to know danger a few moments before hand. Remember the high school part from Spidey 1, which portrayed this beautifully? Yeah - the spider sense. Well, what makes Venom so freaking dangerous and so idiosyncratic is that Spidey can't detect him. Ever. It's the crux of all their battles. And Raimi took that concept, put it in a wastebasket, and kicked that sucker out the window. Venom, in all his richness, is Squandered in this movie. The Whole movie should have been about the symbiotic, the change Parker goes through, and his choices henceforth. Instead, it's an aside. Often paling in screen time to Green Goblin rehashing, Sandman, and relationship with women.

And how many Spidey movies do we need Kirsten Dunst tied up and in distress? Every single one apparently.

Acting: This thing degenerates into a Spanish soap opera and I guess they received direction that if you don't cry on screen, then therefore you are incapable of showing emotion. Count the tears, they add up quickly.

You can pretty much disregard James Cromwell in this. You paid for an actor of his caliber and basically wasted him. Good job Sony. He's barely in it, has no decent scene to express his talents, so why not get a no-name or less cultivated actor? Stupid casting.

Alfred Molina's absence is palpable. Topher Grace does nothing to impress me. I always hate this guy in everything. I would never cast him. And as Eddie Brock-Venom, the role of a lifetime, he threw it away.

Annnnnnnd of course, Bruce Campbell's cameo was good. Probably two days of work for him and he easily has the best scene.

Bryce Dallas Howard is quite fetching. Her eyes just knock me over. Bleh. Not a good role for her to take, other than the paycheck.

Not a big deal, but the extras were horrible. Often looking different places where Spiderman should be. Sometimes disinterested, sometimes corny beyond belief.

Special effects guy John Dykstra, who won the Academy Award for visual effects for his work on Spider-Man 2, declined to work on the third film as visual effects supervisor. And Danny Elfman backed out too. Both are missed. The fight scenes are choreographed adequately but they look cartoon-like and the bodies aren't given enough "weight". They look flimsy, almost like magazine paper sometimes.

Directing: Again, I've said this earlier, but the whole thing seems rushed, not thought out, choppy and chunky. There's no finesse. It's a mangled junk heap. And remember the "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" montage from Spidey 2? There's something similar here in 3, but it's a grotesque severance from the narrative and appears solely to get some "stupid people in the audience laughing". There's even a dance sequence at a jazz club that basically looks like they cut and pasted from The Mask with Jim Carey.

Just a let down on every single level. Kinda like your favorite child getting busted by his school for bullying the fat kid. You're more disappointed than anything else. "With great promise, comes great disappointment." For the 8 plus dollars, I feel like demanding a refund. It's like I got punched in the gut by my girlfriend, who then got into the car of my best friend; it hurts on a lot of levels.
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Heat (1986)
3/10
Burt on a Trampoline!
9 January 2007
This movie needs to be watched for only a handful of reasons.

One, it'll completely revolutionize the way you think about how Burt Reynolds can jump. Sure, it's a pretty lousy stunt double for most of the scenes, and Burt is as oily and haggard as he ever was in the 80s, but he has some ridiculous fight scenes where he inexplicable can jump 12 feet in the f**king air. It's incredible.

Also, the ending is so void of substance, that you'll question your own appreciation of time, and ask yourself, "why in the hell did I just watch this." You'll then become a better person and get more out of life.

Watch with caution, and every time Burt slugs someone or jumpkicks the hell outta them or throws medallions at their face, yell "HEAT!" at the t.v. It's the only way to go, and you'll feel much better.
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The Freshest Kids (2002 Video)
10/10
Fundamentals.
1 October 2003
Perhaps eclipsing the recent Spellbound as the best documentary of the last few years, The Freshest Kids brilliantly chronicles the birth, death, and reemergence of the B Boy and all encompassing facets of break culture.

Director Israel's passion for the B Boy world exudes with every frame, and the work put into such a film constitutes the highest acclaim. Being a B Boy student myself, this movie solidifies itself as the ultimate primer on hip hop, graffiti art, and of course highlights power moves, top rock, flair, low rock, and freezes as it tries to reaffirm breakin as a cultural phenomenon refusing to fade. The Freshest Kids touches on the dismantling of breakin by the government and the transition to crime many dancers took after the saturation of the market in the 80s. The reunions of today are still pockmarked by cop interference. At one point, B Boy "elder" Crazy Legs turns to the camera after riot cops rain in, "All this over dancing..."



Even if I hated everything hip hop, the film itself is done with such technical and directorial deftness that I would have taken notice and commended it.

It's hard to express what b-boying does to you, it's too visceral to try explaining. However, this film is such a charge to the core that it's impossible to not want to battle right after seeing it. I suck so I'd get burned right away but after the moves showcased in this movie, I'm humbled already.
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7/10
A true culmination.
2 August 2001
Bridging everything good from his four prior films, Kevin Smith has achieved his highest ground with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Infusing hyper-referential humor at every impasse, it's almost an homage to film as well as an appreciative gesture to the fans (and actors) whom have gotten Smith to where he is today. While it's true that seeing the previous four of Smith's movies will help in understanding some of the comedy, the plot has enough going on where those patrons who aren't so firmly rooted in character development can still enjoy the follies of Jay and Silent Bob as they traverse the country. Kevin Smith definitely has fun with this picture, incorporating his own inspirations and craftily bashing the Hollywood machine. Extremely funny and a truly accomplished piece by Smith.
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Scratch (2001)
8/10
"wicka wicka wicka"
5 July 2001
-That's pretty much the whole soundtrack to this film. I just saw this baby at the Munich Film Festival and it rocked the house. Director Doug Pray is never seen in this documentary, nor I think he is even heard, but he has done a very intimate look into the lives and history of the "mixer." He has segmented his film into about eight chapters and then his motley group of enthusiastic interviews will be spiced throughout according to what they are talking about. I was never big into "scratching" but the film does a wonderful job of keeping elementary for those who know little, and infusing in-jokes for those who are experts themselves in this area. Mix Master Mike from the Beastie Boys is in this film, but it wasn't until after the film that I could name several heavy hitters in the industry (DJ Shadow, Q- Bert, etc). The extreme fascination for turntables by these talented and quirky DJs is evident in their explanations of what their music means to them. The film also sheds some gratifying light on these guys (and one woman) to be classified as musicians. Pray doesn't let his film idle and if there exists a slow scene it is soon re-energized by hardly ever ceasing music. If nothing else, this film will increase your slang vocabulary. I have to get back to "digging", so I'll end this review. See it, it will be of interest. Good stuff man. Good stuff.
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Almost Famous (2000)
Almost did it...
17 September 2000
Like many of Crowe's films, I found myself liking some aspects of the film, just not the film in totality. I liked his writing, including a tantric soliloquy delievered by Jason Lee. Crudup and Lee's delivery(oh thank god Lee was in this) seemed authentic for what I imagine would be notoriety-vying musicians. Frances McDormand is solid as well. This semi-biopic of Crowe's adolescence loses my favor on several levels. It's predictable as hell, there was a scene which would have ended the movie fabulously,(oh man, it would have been perfect) but alas, no dice. Crowe opts to have the movie fueled by classic rock songs(loads of Zeppelin, among others) rather than some Stillwater originality, which would have been great. We get tidbits of songs from the band as they falter and strive on the road but that's about it. I suppose I felt a little cheated with how much I heard about this film, as well as the potential for being of such cool subject matter. By no means was I blown away by this film, and I'm sorry to the loyal Crowe-ians, but to me the man came up short.
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AHHHH!! BOMB!
22 November 1999
Please film lovers, I'm begging you, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. I cannot stress this enough. I haven't been this disgusted since Robocop 2. Many people have fears of dying, loneliness, sickness, etc. My one fear in life is walking into a room where this piece of filth is on the television. It's too late for me, save yourself and your loved ones. I've already been scarred for life, but my tainted soul begs you to run as far away as possible from this cinematic curse. Please...I don't have much time left...please don't see this movie...
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Scrooged (1988)
8/10
"Niagara Falls Frankie Angel"
21 November 1999
A modernized classic, incredibly produced and worthy of an annual viewing each and every Xmas. Bill Murray is at the top of his game and brilliantly portrays Frank Cross (Scrooge.) Easily one of the most rewatchable films, Scrooged pulls off this adaption so well, that Murray's plea of "good will toward men" seems more of an opportunity than a preachy message. Funny cynicism contrasted with bravado morals make this film one of my favorites.
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Good grief
21 October 1999
Take a decent movie with a good story and a powerful commentary on the use of Hydrogen bomb testing. Throw in Raymond Burr and add some of the crudest over-dubbed scenes ever filmed and you've got GODZILLA: King of the Monsters. Had Hollywood sunk this low in 1954? Watch the subtitled original when you want to see a gripping Japanese movie, watch this one with your buddies for some laughs.
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5/10
WHAT!? Holy Mackeral Batman!
12 October 1999
It is indeed a sad day for the IMDB when American Beauty can reach so high a mark in the top 250. As of this date it is #2 with a vote of 8.8. Has the world gone insane!? Granted, it's a good movie. And that's all it is, good. 7-7.5 is all it should receive. The people who voted so highly have delusions of grandeur and should regrade the movie in totality, not the acting by Mr. Spacey. American Beauty a better film than Schindler's List or Citizen Kane? I think not. I will cry myself to sleep every night until I see this travesty rectified.
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After Life (1998)
10/10
Mindblowing!
20 September 1999
If I could recommend one movie to people who enjoy an absolute cinematic treasure, this would be it. A modern Japanese movie that should win every award it's eligible for. I would have paid 50 dollars for my ticket and still would have gotten a bargain. Profound, moving, and stellar. Can't say much more about perfection.
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