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The Horrible Dr. Bones (2000)
Horrible, indeed
Back when I was in college, instead of going to parties or trying to be "popular", my roommate and I watched a lot of movies.
Midway through the year, we would run out of movies we had actually heard of, and instead began to rent the most horrible looking films we could find (that is how we found Altered States). And It's how we came across the Horrible Doctor Bones.
It's been a few years, but recalling the movie and the plot (heh, heh), I remember some white-boy rapping, an absolutely terrible story, and the longest torso on Dr. Bones that you will ever see on a human. Normally, I am not the best judge of acting talent. For example, I really can't tell the difference in acting between Tom Hanks and Colin Hanks, besides one is quite a bit sexier.
If you are looking for some unintentional comedy, you have found the right movie.
1/10
Dune (1984)
Stick to the book
Dune is a unfortunate example of what happens when a large novel is not adapted when it is made into a 2 hour movie. It is just a bunch scenes stolen from the book, thrown together to advance the plot at record speed, which are cut drastically short so they lose all the the subtle meaning which makes the book great. Oh, and don't forget the David Lynch weirdness thrown in for no reason. I was ashamed, confused, and angry at this film and I am sorry that I ever watched it. On the positive side, MOST of the special effects were quite good for '84 and Sting was surprisingly fun to watch. But that was about all the film has going for it, and now that it is not 1984 anymore, the only reason to watch it is to see Sting doing his best Billy Idol impersonation.
Supergirl (1984)
Not a good movie, but personally enjoyable
It could be because I was six the first time I saw it and had a crush on the girl that played supergirl for a long time thereafter, but I enjoy the movie. The special effects are horribly dated compared to what we have become use to in movies, and the acting is not much better. Unless you really like the superman movies, or are under the age of six, the movie would probably be utterly boring. The only good thing that I can say about the movie is that I like it, but I don't know why.
Cube (1997)
One of the truly great ideas
Truly a great movie, if for nothing else, than an incredible premise. Recently, it has seemed as if movies have been rehashing old ideas, remakes of classic movies (Godzilla, Psycho, the seemingly millions of Scream copies). But, Cube is special and interesting to watch because it made me shake with anticipation. A thrill from the first to last scene.
It's Pat: The Movie (1994)
One of the unfunniest unfunny movies
SNL movies are generally bad, but none have been as bad as It's Pat. After five attempts, I managed to get through the movie. Why I felt the need to finish the movie? I couldn't say. One joke can hardly make a 2 minute skit, and it definitely can't make a movie. I would much rather watch David Folley in the movie Braincandy than in this, the unfunniest of the unfunny movies.
Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Welcome to Miami, please leave the script at the gate
As a fan of the earliest Police Academy movies when I was a child, I feel ashamed that this movie is so bad and unfunny. The one continuous joke throughout the second half of the movie is not only unfunny, but also stupid. The acting is, well, I felt myself wishing that Steve Gutenburg would make an appearance. I guess when you put George Gaynes and Bubba Smith in lead roles, you don't get ground breaking performance. Probably, the only thing actually worth watching is the beautiful Florida locale. It is too bad that the actors get in the way of it most of the time.
Hercules in New York (1970)
Dubbing at its best
A bad bad bad movie, yet hilarious. Who would have thought that dubbing Arnold could provide laugh after laugh? Hours of fun I tell you. And even better, the voice that they give him incredibly funny because we all know how he actually sounds. Watch this and see how far Arnold has actually come as an actor.