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Reviews
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Really dumb slasher movie
I had read about how dumb this movie was before seeing it, but it was even sillier than I expected. Don't get me wrong, I like bad, sleazy horror very much, but this was a little too stupid. The Driller Killer's song-and-dance number has to be one of the lamest moments ever captured on film. To make matters worse, only one girl in this movie gets naked, and she's not even very attractive. One of the other girls was a former playboy playmate, and she keeps her clothes on the whole time! What a waste. I have also seen part 3 of this series and I found it to be much better. This might be a good movie to laugh at, but don't bother if you want good horror film.
Feeders (1996)
Worse than you can imagine
This has to be, hands down, the cheapest movie I have ever seen. They couldn't have spent $50 on this turkey. The computer effects look like an Atari 2600 game and the alien creatures look like sock puppets. I found it amusing that the puppet-aliens were always eating people even though they did not appear to have mouths. Fans of really bad movies will probably enjoy this, as I sort of did, but everyone else is advised to stay far away.
Krull (1983)
Good fantasy film
If you are a fan of the fantasy genre, you will probably enjoy this film. The plot is typical "rescue the princess" fare, but the characters are interesting and the special effects aren't bad for the time. All in all, a very good fantasy effort that isn't the most original but is certainly entertaining.
Scared to Death (1980)
Average monster movie
This film was a very typical monster movie that incorporated all of the usual dumb cliches. It's got a slow moving, fake looking monster, really stupid victims who deserve to die, and a lame story about the monster resulting from a genetic experiment gone awry. (Why did the professor even make the monster in the first place? It never really says why. I guess that's just what scientists do.) Still, this movie is an okay time-waster if you happen to enjoy bad sci-fi or horror. It's certainly not the best, but I have definitely seen worse. I give it a 5/10 rating.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
A holiday classic of a different kind...
I recently saw this film for the first time just a few days before Christmas, and I was certainly impressed. I have seen many slasher films, and unlike most of them this one actually explains why the killer is so evil, and in a way that is almost believable. Heck, I almost felt sorry for the guy. Horror fans will appreciate some fairly good death scenes, as well as the abundant gratuitous nudity. If you're tired of the usual syrupy sweet Christmas movies, then this one is a nice change of pace. It's probably not the best slasher film, but it's better than most and recommended for horror fans.
Zombi 2 (1979)
Great gore, but too slow-moving
I generally agree with what the other posters have said about this movie. The gore is quite gruesome and impressive, but for much of the movie there isn't any. The opening scene on the boat is quite good, but after that it takes a good hour before anything very interesting happens again. The last 30 minutes or so are very well done, with very cool, evil-looking zombies and tons of spurting blood. Mainstream American horror movies like Friday the 13th aren't anywhere near this explicit in their depiction of gory carnage. This film is definitely hurt by the slow middle section, but if you love gore you'll probably like it anyway.
Alien Predator (1986)
Bottom of the barrel
I've seen a lot of bad movies, but this ranks near the bottom of them all. Sometimes obscure low budget movies can be quite entertaining, such as "Time Walker" and "Star Crash", but this film is just plain boring. The alien in the title has about 45 seconds of screen time total, and when it finally does show itself it isn't even very threatening. The rest of the film is slow and poorly acted, and sometimes just doesn't make much sense. Even the guys at MST3K would be hard pressed to make this one interesting. Avoid at all costs.
Star Crystal (1986)
Bad movie with bad ending
There's very little good to say about this turkey. A generally laughable piece of dreck, this film goes from bad to worse with one of the most anticlimactic endings I've ever seen. It was certainly unexpected, but that doesn't mean it was good. While I am a big fan of cheesy horror and sci-fi, I really can't recommend this unless you just have to see every B-movie that's ever been made. Don't waste your time with this boring loser.
Ragewar (1984)
Horrible
What a strange movie. The plot is something about this computer geek's girlfriend getting kidnapped by some evil wizard (for no apparent reason). To get her back, he has to go on series of adventures or quests or something, (it's been a while since I've seen this so forgive me if I get this a little wrong.) Each of tbe several "adventures" he goes on has a different director, which I found very odd. The different segments have nothing to do with each other, except being tied together by the loose skeleton plot described above. This movie is really bad beyond belief, and only worth renting if you are a serious b-movie junkie. The most interesting thing about it in my opinion was the unexpected appearance by the heavy metal band WASP. Other than that, this film is not recommended.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
Not as bad as everyone says
WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD
After reading all of the negative reviews about this movie I don't think it's being given a fair treatment. As most people already know, Jason is not the killer in this one. That is obviously the reason most people don't like it. If you can get past the lack of Jason, I don't think this movie is any worse than any of the other Friday the 13th movies. In fact, it contains a number of very cool death scenes and the story is actually pretty good in my opinion. If Jason had been the killer but otherwise this movies had been the same I think that this would be considered as good as any of the other movies.
Hack-O-Lantern (1988)
charming low-budget 80's horror
The particular copy of this movie that I saw was under the moniker "Hack-O-Lantern". In terms of pure gore, the movie didn't exactly live up to the name. It was, however, charming in a typically 80's horror fashion, i.e., just about every chick in the movie gets naked. The plot is nothing new, but it is rendered fairly well. In one particular scene, the movieturns into a music video by the heavy metal band D.C. La Croix. If you like old-school metal like Wasp and Venom you will like the song they have in the movie.
Bottom line, the movie needs more gore and a higher body count.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
A creepy and excellent movie
Simply put, this is not the scariest movie ever made. I was hardly frightened out of my wits while watching it. It did, however, create a truly creepy atmosphere, which is something few so-called horror movies ever do. I really enjoyed this movie very much, even the parts that weren't at all creepy were very interesting and entertaining to me. There is no doubt that a lot of people aren't going to like this movie, however. I work at a movie theater and have talked to plenty of moviegoers who were disappointed. I have also talked to plenty who loved it as much as I did. I would advise that you don't listen to what anybody else says and go see this movie for yourself. You just might enjoy it.
Wild Wild West (1999)
Ridiculous tripe
Once again a major movie studio has slapped together a thinly plotted, special-effects laden piece of junk and tried to pass it off as the next "blockbuster". While this film will probably make a lot of money, it did not impress me at all -- and neither should it impress any discriminating viewer. Many of this movie's key elements (including the giant mechanical spider, the flying bicycle, and even the villain Dr. Loveless) are so incredibly farfetched and unrealistic that it's just plain ridiculous. Add to this a weak plot and flat jokes and you have one rather poor film. Maybe if the public will quit spending millions of dollars on every "summer blockbuster" that is released -- regardless of its quality -- then the big studios will finally make some decent films.
Space Raiders (1983)
Shameless Star Wars clone
This movie wishes it were Star Wars, but comes nowhere close. (How could it?) From the Han Solo-like character Hawk to the blatant rip-off of the Star Wars Cantina scene, this film is as derivative as it is cheap. Despite these flaws its not quite as bad as it might sound, just kind of average as sci-fi movies go. Not the worst, but nowhere near the best.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
SMASHING BABY!!!
No matter what anybody says, this film is absolutely hilarious. Mike Myers is hysterical as both Austin Powers and his arch-nemesis Dr. Evil. This movie has so many great lines and funny scenes that I never get tired of watching it. In fact, it's probably my favorite comedy of all time. See it now!!!
Night of the Comet (1984)
Like watching paint dry
This was quite possibly the most boring movie I have ever seen. The premise is interesting but the movie fails to deliver anything but yawns. If that weren't bad enough, the music is horrible! Avoid at all costs.
Lucas (1986)
A wonderful movie
This is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. It is a wonderfully acted story of young love that is far more realistic than most Hollywood movies. The performances are all excellent, especially Kerri Green as Maggie, and Corey Haim as Lucas. This should have been nominated for some Oscars!
Time Walker (1982)
One of my favorite "B" movies
I don't know why, but I found this super-cheesy story of a mummy terrorizing a college campus a lot more entertaining than I should have. Sure, the acting and effects are horrid, but I thought the story was good for this kind of movie. A classic B-movie in my opinion.