Pro Jury Reviews

Betty Danger: Vice Cop (2020 Video)

20 Years Later, Was It Worth It?

[4/10 · 22 March 2024]

BETTY DANGER VICE COP is a soft sex romp with very little story and very little to offer. The most interesting aspect is the release date. The TV Filmwise network lists this with a video release date of 2021. This movie database site lists it as released in 2020. But as you watch it... house phones, film cameras, old cell phones, cars, desk computers and CRT monitors, it looks like BETTY DANGER was made in 2002 or so.

Another clear clue is the aspect ration is 4:3 non-widescreen. How and why put a new copyright date on an old production that does not appear to have any modern updating or processing?

The movie itself is not so great to watch. It jumps here and there, every female has fake plastic chests. There are better soft movies that are 20 years old out there to watch.

Embodiment (2016)

Good effort

[6/10 · 10 January 2024]

Rated PG-13 for adult themes.

A prostitute with a heart of gold spends a lot of thoughtful time with her client and develops a soft spot for the lonely wheelchair-bound nephew of her client who is treated coldly at his high school or community college.

Embodiment is a solid effort for a short film. Strong story idea. The acting was firmer than the direction.

However, the idea that a prostitute would have so much available time and mental energy to devote to a client is not exactly realistic, and the ending idea is overly grand and it falls flat as it is played out.

I give this 6 Stars out of ten.

Innocent Crush (2014)

Chemistry is subjective

[6/10 · 3 November 2023]

With any infidelity movie, there is a great chance it will fall flat when the wife is more beautiful than the temptress. With this movie, called "Innocent Thing" on American cable TV with subtitles, the wife is a stunning elegant beauty while the temptress has a mousy face, stick figure and not much going for her other than youth and quick camera edits.

There is a night and day difference when a movie with infidelity has a world class attractive temptress, such as the movie "Argento's Dracula" also being shown this same month on cable TV. The temptress in "Argento's Dracula" has every female perfection to make instant fireworks in any husband's eyes. In other words, the temptress is irresistible.

People are different, but in "Innocent Thing" the wife is a head-turner that a man would look twice at as she walks by, but the temptress is just average and so the whole movie does not work so well. Chemistry is subjective.

House (1977)

What if this movie is not what it seems?

[9/10 · 22 October 2023]

What if this movie does not have a high school student with 6 friends?

What if this movie is not really about a daughter with a dead mother?

What if the mother is not really dead?

What if the mother and father were divorced and separated when the daughter was young, and now older, the emotional daughter goes to find her mother?

What if she goes on this emotional trip with no real physical friends, but what we see are different facets of the daughter's mind or personality?

What if the mother's house represents an empowerment that the daughter does not really have on her own, the empowerment to bring her mother and father back together?

HOUSE is a very creative movie. It is so fun to watch. Visually, anything goes. So, why not watch the movie with an 'anything goes' attitude and play with your own... what if's?

A War (2015)

One major hole weakens realism

[6/10 · 13 September 2023]

A WAR is well done in many ways as so many other reviewers have pointed out. Here I will point out some problems that have not been mentioned.

1. The biggest problem is the primary plot question: Was the air strike order justified?

We viewers see the platoon under heavy attack. Violent frenzied chaos. The Commander orders the air attack. The air attack happens. And the deadly frenzied attack by the enemy stops.

The attack stopping with the air attack is weighty evidence that the attackers were using the exterior of the Compound 6 house as a platform, or as cover or as human shields.

Before air strike; active attack. At end of air strike; no more enemy attack.

With everyone in the platoon witnessing the same thing, there would never be a trial.

But in the movie, no one mentions the success in ending the enemy attack. This obvious issue is 100% ignored in the movie.

2. Purpose. When well trained army troops are sent out in a feeble-minded political war action, they band together with the common purpose of getting through their active duty rotation. This platoon did not seems to share or voice the common grounding they shared.

3. Medical first aid. Watching WW2, Korean and Vietnam war movies, first aid activities for wounded troops depicts a base level of universal training. But in A WAR, wounded troops were treated with all drama, and almost zero first aid training.

Even with these issues, A WAR is very well edited, and rates a solid 6 1/2 Stars.

Beautiful Bounty (2001)

Not too bad, well maybe

[5/10 · 20 February 2023]

This is a common softcore movie with long nude scenes of 39-year-old females simulating sex contact with 25-year-old male actors.

Shadows help us see where the cameras and microphones are placed. BEAUTIFUL BOUNTY is a group effort.

The production quality is all average for California mill softcore, however, what is above average is the musical score. Except for the ending credits, the soundtrack has fun sounding instrumental music that is better than many cheap non-softcore movies that are 100 percent organ synth.

I give this 5.5 STARS because some effort was made and this movie is better than any of the current softcore movies made for late weekends on the pay cable channels during the 2020's.

A Dangerous Man (2009 Video)

Filmed in 2005?

[6/10 · 1 January 2023]

Looking at all of the technology seen in A DANGEROUS MAN, there is no widescreen computer monitors, no smartphones, no HDTVs, but there is analog VCRs and TVs. Was this shot in 2004 or 2005 and slowly edited and released in 2009?

The supporting actors were well cast.

The direction was above average. Always efficient going from A to B to C when many other action movies fail in this department.

The story was fast paced and complex enough to keep things going.

At first, watching the opening credits with producer after producer, assistant producer after assistant producer, continuing on and on, I thought A DANGEROUS MAN was going to be campy fun. But no, it is standard action.

Every weakness others have pointed out are true.

An average action movie released in 2009 with older electronics.

Contract to Kill (2016)

Yes, it is bad, but did you notice...

[2/10 · 6 October 2022]

I agree with all reviewers here. This is a bad movie. Nothing redeeming. It does not even qualify as a "so bad it is good" type movie.

Also agree with the many reviewers mentioning the awkward cuss words all through Contract To Kill. But did you notice...

In normal life and in normal movies, it is usual for the hero or leading man to use a vulgar word for someone they dislike, and speak more politely when talking about a respected person in their life such as their grandmother. This is normal.

However, in Contract To Kill, a weird opposite thing is in the script. Steven Seagal speaks politely when he names the bad guy, but uses a cuss word in front of a respected name. More weirdly, he does the same thing with high status objects and very low status objects.

For example, he will say the "determined" mass killer, the "energetic" arsonist, the "austier" murderer and then when naming the innocent victims say the "#K&#X%" bishop, the "#K&#X%" heart surgeon, the "#K&#X%" Catholic school, etc.

All through the movie, smelly trash, spilled milk, and soiled diapers are treated with language dignity, while at every chance anything of anyone with customary self-dignity such a a Jewish Rabbi or elderly grandmother or the casket of a late senator is blasted with vulgarity when spoken about.

Maybe there is a drinking game in Contract To Kill. Maybe there is a "so bad it is good" redeeming feature in this movie... or maybe not.

Reform School (1939)

Interesting movie to rate

[8/10 · 6 October 2022]

This is a difficult movie to rate. It was a joy and an exciting move to see because it was shown on 10/5/2022 for the first time as a lost movie. Watching it was like being first to discover a historic fact.

As an entertainment movie in general, there are pluses and minuses.

Pluses = The photography is sharp and camera movement is professional enough not to be a distraction. The story is clear and stays on track at all times.

Minuses = The reform school "kids" are in their 20s and 30s. The actors are short as 15 and 16-year-olds would be, but they are old. Worse, there is special footage of kids working in a real reform school kitchen and laundry room where all the kids are real kids, and then when the movie comes back to the actors, the difference in age is very distracting. Also a minus is the relaxed direction and loose editing. This is not the zenith of 1939 film art.

This was enjoyable to watch, but maybe most of the charm is that of seeing a lost movie.

One other note... When people speak slowly, and specially when people speak quickly, most of the time words blur and blend together as spoken. But in Reform School, the actors tend to speak with a slight separation between every word, which makes this movie extremely easy to understand for foreign people trying to learn English.

Beginners having trouble catching English by ear will have an easier time with Reform School than watching many other English movies.

Emperor (2012)

Poor history, poor, poor history

[5/10 · 27 April 2022]

If this is to be an examination of real history, the major problem with this movie is obvious in the first 15 minutes.

"Was the Emperor responsible for Japanese war crimes?" This question is not investigated in this movie.

The 10 day limit to investigate the Emperor was odd and never explained. The statute of limitations to charge someone suspected of stealing $100 worth of canned tuna is at least 52 weeks in every state in the USA. Investigating 5 years of war crimes deserves a more investigation.

The most bland WWII TV documentaries have revealed that the Emperor was directly responsible for Japanese war crimes. He was an active player in the Japanese leadership. Throughout war council meetings, he led by asking questions. Rapes, torture, cleansing regions, he gave direction by asking questions such as, "What benefit is there in punishing our soldiers who take comfort in foreign women?"

Servants and junior military officers accompanying top Japanese generals at war council meetings confirm the Emperor's participation and leadership style at these meetings.

Instead of asking "was the Emperor responsible for Japanese war crimes," the movie explores other issues and pretends that initiating aggressive force is morally equal to the use of defensive force.

With the crazy 10 day time limit, instead of putting how WWII started on the examination table with some key leaders long dead, the more reasonable idea would be to examine the most recent policy shift increasing Japanese war crimes together with the Japanese war council meeting that took place just before the shift that were attended by the Emperor.

Orders to conduct mass civilian executions, trace back the most recent ones up the command chain and see if it took place just after a war council meeting attended by the Emperor.

There was a lot of feeble leadership that took place with Japanese surrender. The true story might be interesting to people beyond historians. In any case, the movie EMPEROR fails to be interesting even with most of it being made up by Hollywood writers.

Closely Watched Trains (1966)

A WW2 Sex Fantasy For Nerds

[6/10 · 18 March 2022]

This interesting movie takes place is a world of ugly frog-faced nerdy males, all of them pretty revolting, and ooo-la-la females. There are beautiful playful knowing girly-girl teen sex kittens that chase the nerds and yes, they only want one thing. Also, there are sensual warm womanly knowing sex bunnies that chase the nerds and yes, they only want one thing. What a hot erotic dream world.

This erotic world is at its best filming the passion and showing erect teenage skin. As the stamps are applied you can actually see the tingle in the nerve endings of the teenage legs.

However, Closely Watching Trains was made in the mid 1960s and stays in PG-13 depictions. So, it builds up the passion well, but it delivers not. And keep in mind, while the ladies are hot, the nerd boys are not.

As for WWII, even watching the uncut full version, the World War Two plotline is mostly presumed and the climax and end of the film seem to only serve as a way to have a climax and end.

Many reviewers point to the Czech sister film, Shop On Main Street, as the better movie, but Shop On Main Street greatly dumbed-down towards the end, and turned into an unimaginative boozy haze after its very promising first half, while Closely Watching Trains maintains its awkward lumpy story-telling consistently from beginning to end.

Both movies are lacking for different reasons, and both have very interesting elements that are different from each other.

Worth one viewing. 6/10.

The Adventures of Frontier Fremont (1975)

Enjoyable Grizzly Adams by another name

[9/10 · 22 February 2022]

If you enjoyed watching the TV series Grizzly Adams, you are sure to like The Adventures of Frontier Fremont. Both Frontier Freemont and Grizzly Adams were shot in northern Utah, both have the same three lead human actors, and both feature a soft gentle approach to story telling and smooth easy theme music.

The warm acceptance of The Adventures of Frontier Fremont led to the production of the Grizzly Adams TV series.

Frontier Fremont is easy to like, easy to watch and it is safe viewing for the whole family, save for some anilmal conflicts in nature. 9/10 because it does what it sets out to do.

Haus of Horror (2020)

Horror Current Events, Your Insider Guide

[7/10 · 12 January 2022]

Did you know there is such a thing as edible glitter? Just imagine the fun uses.

Hous of Horror (2020) and Hello Horror (2021-) are horror current events magazine series hosted by Vanessa Decker being shown on the new TV channel BloodyDisgustingTV. Vanessa runs a show that keeps her on her feet, moving around, as she explores horror entertainment. No sitdown desk interviews, each episode is lively on-the-go fun, and she tackles each topic with smiles and a good nature.

Hous of Horrow was produced before Covid, so no one is wearing safety face masks, while Hello Horrow is produced in the Covid era and sadly, there many masked people in front of the camera.

Vanessa guides the viewer all through the colorful realm of horror that is her fun passion, and it makes for a TV show that is easy and fun to watch. Solid 7 Stars.

3 Doors From Paradise (2018)

A pitch-perfect ABC Afterschool Special for today's adults

[8/10 · 13 April 2021]

Rating this movie an 8, and thinking of increasing it to a 9, by not comparing it to the universe of big budget A-list Hollywood movies, but by thinking back to the ABC After School Special movies we adults of a certain age were raised on.

After School movies did not need a hero fighting space aliens, or Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe creating an air-tight masterpiece for the ages. After School Special movies were direct, simple, and to the point. Each one had a goal to provoke some thoughts, share an experience, and not be tied down by the distractions of extreme realism.

3 DOORS DOWN FROM PARADISE is, for lack of better words, a fairy tail story about Brandon, a grown young man with fairly profound autism who, as a ward of the state, is removed from his agency group home and provided with his own individual apartment. And soon as this scenario unfolds, we see that Brandon new environment is one with angels and demons (beyond his own mental demons).

3 DOORS DOWN FROM PARADISE could go in many directions with this set-up, and as stated at the beginning, if the viewer accepts it in the spirit of an After School Special movie, and let it do it's thing, it will bring you back to a time of your first movie watching.

That said,,it should be made clear that this is not a movie for children, this is not a children's movie, but for me it was a movie for how we are now as adults.

1917 (2019)

Interesting visually but it does not work well as a full length movie

[4/10 · 28 February 2021]

Like most WWI and WWII movies made today, this one looks like modern day actors playing soldier, all lacking military bearing, speech, phrasing and decorum of the time. If the viewer thinks to ask, what brand hair oil from the year 1917 might these two message runners use, the answer at the shampooed non-oiled fluffy hair is, of course, none because men today do not use hair cream. The movie is 1917, and clearly not made in 1917.

Also, like most big war movies made by nonmilitary people, when out in the open at the front lines, the actors mostly look 10 to 15 feet ahead. They do not have "the 1000 yard gaze" and do not rubberneck their view to constantly be aware of 360° of their environment.

But there is a special problem with the movie 1917 that makes it tough to watch through to the end, and that is that it has a clear bothersome pattern, or dramatic plot giveaway. As the two messengers are trekking, urgently moving on their mission, there is no drama. As the two messengers are moving, we see they are not at risk. But each time they stop to explore (and this is weird because stopping and exploring is not part of their urgent mission), each time they stop, great problems fall upon them.

One problem is booby-traps by the retreating enemy. You would think that once the first booby-trap is found and inflicts a painful toll, the two messengers would be extremely cautious to even think about stopping and exploring again, but they do. And yes, as they have stopped and are spending time exploring without caution, more great problems fall upon them.

Also, after experiencing a booby-trap first hand, even if stopping again to recklessly touch and explore things around them was somehow acceptable, there should still be some concern for the two messengers that the outdoor paths and wood boardwalks that were all enemy territory just hours ago are now mined. Actually, the Germans made extensive use of anti-tank landmines during WWI. Landmines were the "cheap" weapon of WWI. Yet, although complicated booby-traps were set by the Germans in the movie 1917, no quick and easy landmines are on the main paths of the newly abandoned German territory, and these two actors seem to know there are no landmines as they walk on top of boardwalks and paths.

1917 is less than realistic.

A Good Kill (2016)

This war movie is unwatchable due to distractions

[2/10 · 23 February 2021]

I saw an English dubbed version on US TV. One good thing is the voice actors spoke in American English. Not British English or foreign English. Very clear and easy to understand. This is a good aspect of this movie, but sadly this is where the good aspects end.

The audio dubbing has no production quality. When voices are heard, many sound effects and background sounds go away until the speaking ends. The voice actors always sound as if they are 5 inches away. Not more distant, not stressed, not always matching the physical location of the actors.

But the audio is the least of the problems. The actors do not have military bearing. They are actors playing. They have no sense of place or mission, and they act more like social workers on a quest of introspection. The default is troubled introspection and no soldier thinks by training or does simple instant rationalization and goes on to the next task.

On a mission we see three members of the front line unit. One is wearing a military cap. One is wearing a helmet. One has no cover. This was a distraction.

With each mission and activity, there is confusion and introspection, and no one can provide a protocol. This movie yells out "actors dressed as soldiers" rather than being a movie providing a window in on trained soldiers on the front lines.

Every weakness is a distraction that makes A GOOD KILL difficult to watch and enjoy.

The Rack (1956)

Great set up, weaker execution

[7/10 · 15 July 2020]

The story idea here affords the opportunity for intense drama and ample raw nerve emotion. But there are weaknesses that prevent THE RACK from being a masterpiece. Many weaknesses.

One is that the foundation of the story is never seen. All we have here is the 3 quarters of a PERRY MASON episode with no peek at the actual crime being committed. Paul Newman looks like movie star Paul Newman rather than a recently released POW. Too often through the movie, people speak to each other without pause as if each always knows what the other person will say. This can sometimes add to a movie, showing the viewer that two characters share a special close connection. But here, it just happens with most everyone we see.

Instead of hinging the story on raw nerve emotions, the deep personal feelings all become removed to a remote location, wrapped up in a tight bundle, as we are asked to ponder does an emotional breaking point really exist, or do we only think it exists. Does a person really know they cannot go on, or do they only think that they cannot go on? If a person who once thought they could not go on is asked to imagine that they did go on for 30 additional seconds, because they can imagine it now at a calm easy comfy time, did any breaking point ever really be proven? The possible answers are so intransitive that if a viewer decides that it is all only a word game, then why is no one in the movie voicing a challenge?

The movie ends with easy defeatism. It is unsatisfying. That said, this movie is still easy to watch. It moves along okay as said in the beginning, the story idea is very interesting.

Perry Mason: The Case of the Simple Simon (1964) Season 7, Episode 24

What we do not see is not realistic

[6/10 · 26 June 2020]

Here it is 2020, and now watching episodes of Perry Mason for the very first time. As escapism, this series is wonderful and nice. However, some episodes work better than others. What tends to happen in episodes of Perry Mason is the action we see captured by the camera makes sense, but sometimes what we never see, and is only explained to the audience at the end of the episode, is not all that logical if you think a lot about it.

In this SIMPLE SIMON episode, we are told that an experienced movie or stage reviewer might skip the last 10 minutes to go home and write the review early. Well maybe. Maybe if the performance is expected to be unimportant for the paper, maybe frivolous generally, or perhaps inconsequential for the writer.

But in SIMPLE SIMON, we see that the performers and performance are very special and very personal for the writer, his paper and the student community. Surely some students are assigned to write reviews of their own. There will be class discussions and debates the next day. Department professors making these assignments will need to be ready and prepared. This performance does not seem routine and insignificant enough to skip the last 10 minutes.

In fact, there is a long intense personal history between the professor/reviewer and the performers. The professor/reviewer is very motivated to make every critical punch count, and land as many zingers as he can. Skip the last 10 minutes? No way. This personally motivated reviewer is going to want to carefully watch every second of the stage performance in hopes of finding weakness and mistakes.

But in this episode to make the murder time technically able to take place, we are told that the reviewer not only left the performance 10 minutes early, but he actually left the theater building half way into the performance.

Yes, such a thing is technically possible, but it is without real life motivation. It is just not believable the more you think about it. The reviewer is motivated to stay to the end, and not leave early to make the murder possible.

Lastly, intermissions are not that long, and during the intermission, the artisic director or "quarterback" is not going to be unavailable for the entire time. A quarterback not on the field and not with his players is not really the quarterback. But during SIMPLE SIMON, we did not hear of the quarterback being missing. The entire idea is not realistic as it is presented.

Tiger Bay (1959)

Some greatness and some weakness

[6/10 · 25 June 2020]

It has been said that young Hayley Mills takes command of TIGER BAY with her natural acting talents, and this may be true, but it is unfair to all of the actors in this movie. All of them do very well and are fun to watch. If by acting talent alone, TIGER BAY rates a great 9 or perfect 10 star ranking. However, there is more to this movie than acting alone.

The first half seems directed with flawless flare. TIGER BAY is visually fun to watch all through the first half. But in the second half there is a ship chase that is visually all wrong. Ships going out to sea do not go perfectly parallel to the land. They go out to sea. From land you see the stern, not the broadside. Second, a giant moving ship cannot be at speed making way to deep sea in one shot, then be dead still in the water in the next shot. It would take ample time and distance to stop such a heavy ship. Anyway, in general the directing is much more sloppy and less fun in the second half.

The other flaw in TIGER BAY which is difficult to ignore is the human motivation in the story. A young healthy guy very alone and out to sea for a year comes to his old apartment and finds curvy womanly perfection young Christine portrayed by the single-name actress Shari, well... HIS ANTENNA SHOULD HAVE BEEN UP! But in the movie he does not notice her perfect point 7 ratios and eye arresting beauty.

Just like in the Guy Madison movie TILL THE END OF TIME, the very hansom leading man of TIGER BAY, Horst Buchholz, is locked to a somewhat revolting lady that ends up weakening the movie. In TILL THE END OF TIME, the relationship with the older dragon lady goes on and on and makes the who movie flat. In TIGER BAY, the relationship is short but it is key to the plot. It needs to be all about intense uncontrolled passion, but as explained above, any normal lonely guy would be making a polite excuse to leave the revolting girlfriend so he could return to the apartment of stunning curvy amazing Christine.

TIGER BAY is a mixed bag. The first half is very much worth watching.

Ashes and Diamonds (1958)

1958 is not 1945, 1945 is not 1958

[4/10 · 20 May 2020]

If you are thrilled when WWII is retold using the reality (or trappings) of the year the movie is shot, well, this ASHES AND DIAMONDS movie might be for you.

There are solid building blocks for sure. The actors have grit. They are all well cast. The visual style pops. The story creates interesting connections between the characters. However, the story often does play out with realism at the times it needs it. And instead of using the building blocks to create on screen drama, the movie errs on the side of having viewers wallow in irony off screen.

For movie viewers who want a WWII movie to transport them back to experience events in the 1940s, ASHES AND DIAMONDS misses the mark.

When a 1970s director lets the actors sport 1970s hippie hair, and speak against the man using 70s slang, in a WWII movie, this is a distraction, not an indication of brave artistic mastery.

The same is true when a 1980's director lets actors in their WWII movie have blow-dried mullets and all speak like in vulgar NY "goodfellas" with a mix of So Cal beach jargon and somehow blaming the war on corporate greed, killer bees, a coming Ice Age crisis, radon gas, ozone hole, acid rain or whatever the narrative of the day. The trappings of the present day distract and prevent the viewer from being transported into the 1930s and 40s.

With ASHES AND DIAMONDS, the 1958 plastic sunglasses are a constant distraction, from start to finish. There are also other 1958 artifacts such as loudspeakers and lights. In any case, all attempts at 1940s realism falls flat, which is unfortunate.

Carol for Another Christmas (1964 TV Movie)

Interventionism. Here is one sales flyer from the left.

[6/10 · 25 December 2018]

Viewing the USA from a neutral point of view, both the left and the right are equally passionate for interventionism. Carol for Another Christmas presents what the left would like the masses to believe. The warm polished ideas acceptable for sharing with the masses. To sell them on the idea of interventionism.

Other Hollywood movies such as the Green Berets present ideas that the right would like to share with the masses -- selling interventionism couched in warm polished conservative jargon.

Carol for Another Christmas shows us that the left and the right are the same and do the same thing: seeking interventionism under a banner with pre-approved sales slogans, while their shared underlying reason for wanting interventionism remains hidden.

Setting aside the messages in Carol for Another Christmas, the movie has many familiar actors from the 1960's and it contains the same pace and black & white in-studio visual style that viewers of The Twilight Zone will find easy to watch.

Well worth viewing at least one time.

Bataan (1943)

Good intention but bad

[6/10 · 11 November 2018]

Contains spoilers

A lack of realism sinks this movie.

First, there is a no posture of danger or life saving vigilance by these soldiers surrounded by active snipers. Deep in the Philippine jungle for 4 months or more, these soldiers are too fat and aged. The extreme humid rainy muddy Philippine jungle would be a difficult place to keep tommygun style loaders functioning. The oven-like Philippine low lands do not have London fog. The tallest coconut trees grow up, not sideways, and the local Filipinos would show amazing skill at climbing the tall trees, not Americans in socks.

Last, but not least, is basic human functioning. We humans are very good at recognizing a person we have known. Someone with such a uncommon pointed look, and an extremely distinctive voice, as the corporal would be confidently recognized by someone who knew him.

Dating Naked (2014– )

Bikini dating would be far more sexy

[3/10 · 30 July 2016]

"Naked Dating" is on a TV channel that does not show frontal nudity and this dooms this reality dating TV series.

For example, the leading male needs to pick from three females, and by his comments, we know he wants to pick the one female with the biggest chest. However, for viewers, from beginning, middle to ending credits, we never see any visual evidence for who might have the biggest chest. All we see are blurs in the front, and all of the blurs look the same for the females.

However, from the back, we do see which one of the three has the perfect point-seven ratio, round, childbearing hips and a warm shapely bubble butt. For we viewers, there is one contestant who stands far above the others. There is one we want to see more of. There is only one of the three we want to see picked. Yet, the leading male's comments remain unconnected to what we see. His comments are all about what viewers cannot see. We see him pick a dud for no good reason. Failure.

A nudity show can be pure fun to watch on a channel that allows nudity, such as the nude travel show on the old HDNET Channel. But "Naked Dating" on VH1 does not work as a reality show. What rational purpose does a "NAKED" show serve when is has no nudity? As it is, about the only thing to do is have "Naked Dating" on in the background with the TV sound off and play the beach party music radio station as you putter around your house. Beeches. Sunsets. Beach party music.

If "Naked Dating" changed to be "Micro Bikini Dating" without any blurring, it would become visually sexy and perhaps even interesting to watch.

Planet Raptor (2007 TV Movie)

So goofy, it is watchable

[8/10 · 27 June 2015]

This review contain spoilers.

This is one of the most watchable movies currently sneaking around the free channels of Roku TV.

So much fun, where to start?... There is the concept: dinosaurs and castles! Please move along "cowboys vs. aliens" please step to the side "snakes on a plane" etc.

Also, the costume of the lead female character looks like it was designed by Mel Brooks for a spoof movie. I was kinda expecting her chest might have the power to hypnotize the eyes of excited raptors.

On one hand, the language is pretty much family friendly. Easy on the ears. But on the other, the blood-spurting head bite-offs are not family friendly.

PLANET RAPTOR would be better if it was one notch smarter. The characters do not barricade the doorways and use the stone castle, hight & second floor rooms to their advantage.

Last, because the movie borrows from the tech of STAR TREK, it would have added to the fun if the writers played with some aspect of the ST universe.

Amazons of Rome (1961)

Poor story, low realism, vivid visuals

[2/10 · 17 June 2015]

This review contains spoilers.

This movie is being played many times per week on GET and, unfortunately, it is too difficult to miss.

In the beginning of the film, the Romans light a line of fire in a location that hinders their ability to repel. After this, we do not see two forces attack and battle, but see only one force at a time appear to attack an unseen enemy.

In the middle of the film, 5 barbarians capture the 100+ strong armed "Amazon" Roman coed army without a fight or struggle. It plays out like a fantasy based upon a lunatic ramblings. If the entire Amazon Army has no interest to engage only 5 armed enemy and 1 unarmed, what is the point of their existence? We also see an uppity Roman women throw off her sandals to show her rebel-minded willingness to have foot-blisters, but within seconds of doing so, she climbs aboard a carry bed and slave men lift her up and take her where she wants to go.

Add all this to seeing women with 1960's modern hair styles and clean shaven soldiers and barbarian men, and viewers are very much on the lookout to find more silliness (and maybe hoping for a laugh track?) rather than watching this as a real movie.

The final product is ultimately a waste of film.