Reviews
Twister (1996)
FX, no dialogue
This isn't a really bad movie. I enjoyed it and I sat through the entirety of the film. However, I saw a third and fourth time on tape and then I start to criticize. I like the special effects and computer generated graphics. I think it's neat. however, like all beg bidget films, this does not excuse a genuine dialogue. Helen Hunt did great and I liked her a lot in the movie. Bill Paxton was given a terrible script and I thought it did him no good. If you had to point the low point, Bill Harding is. He seems more like a blabbering idiot who can't make up his mind whether to do his job and chase tornadoes or argue with his ex-partner. Two thumbs down to him and his dialogue. Seriously, whoever wrote the script -- and I bet a dime Whedon has something to do with this -- screwed up my respect for Bill so much so I had to take out my Aliens tape and watch it to admire him again. Twister gets a 6 overall on my grade with that minus 4 from a poorly written script.
Gettysburg (1993)
Excellent filming, poor interpretation
I must admit that some of the battle scenes were so breath-taking riveting and well-crafted, my eyes were completely glued to the set as I watched everything unfold. However, I must agree with a previous post that the cast did a pretty POOR job interpreting the men that bore colors of blue and grey. That ended my fascination there when everyone started to talk. It appeared to me that the directors and producers wanted to glorify the battle even beyond and that is a total thumbs down. If you're looking ot see a Civil War movie, try "GLORY" instead and skip this.
Gettysburg (1993)
Excellent filming, poor interpretation
I must admit that some of the battle scenes were so breath-taking riveting and well-crafted, my eyes were completely glued to the set as I watched everything unfold. However, I must agree with a previous post that the cast did a pretty POOR job interpreting the men that bore colors of blue and grey. That ended my fascination there when everyone started to talk. It appeared to me that the directors and producers wanted to glorify the battle even beyond and that is a total thumbs down. If you're looking ot see a Civil War movie, try "GLORY" instead and skip this.
Mortal Kombat: Conquest (1998)
Waste of TV space. . .
I don't see any reason why they would even want to have the conversion from theater to television. First of all, it completely changes the storyline and the meaning of Mortal Kombat. The last time I heard, it was a competition of a few fights to determine who gets what. Not three guys binded to camp out and see what thrills await them. Mortal Kombat Conquest offers little in action and acting. The fighting choreography makes it look like posers faking their already fake expertise. The only redeeming quality they hope was using slow-mo to catch original and very-easily-done flips. Sorry, guys. That doesn't impress me. It just shows you can press the slow motion button. Big deal. Next, if they wanted Mortal Kombat to be on TV, please get better actors. I know they're supposed to be fighters but let's try to influence the audience here. The series drags and every agonizing episode that passes shaves another point off my fan vote. I've given up after the 'Quan Chi' episode. I hope the networks will think twice the next time they want to put something as tacky and crummy as this.
Murder in Mind (1997)
Much better this time around
If you remember the writer of this piece, it's the same guy who wrote and directed the agonizing garbage 'Jack Frost'. Much better this time around with this. I enjoyed it and was worth the time to see to it's finish. The plot's a bit confusing and there were evident holes but Mary-Louise's protrayal of her character bails'em out. Decent enough to earn my 7 rating.
Jack Frost (1997)
Really dumb. . .
It's not just the plot alone that makes this movie an instant turn-off for bored audiences. It's the terrible direction with a horrible script and mistakes left and right that makes this too agonizing to watch. I'm sorry but I do not see the 'fun' in this. Just the thrill of pointing the many mistakes and stupid one-liners. Well I'm wondering how dumb the directors think of their producing company when this movie was first introduced. Probably as dumb as that sheriff who dove into the pickup truck full of antifreeze with a gaping bloody wound. Oops! Did I forget to mention this sheriff's not only a poor actor but also can shrug off an impalement with a load of antifreeze drenching the exposed flesh? I guess he kind of forgot when he won a not-so-thrilling victory over the snowman.
The Relic (1997)
Disappointing
All I have to say is that this movie is practically a scenario where tons of people meet senseless violence and death against a creature who loves to rip their heads off. Throw that in with poor acting, terrible editing and a lousy monster with poor FX and you've got something to laugh at. See it if you're bored on a Saturday night.
Fever Lake (1997)
Worst among worst
I saw this last night and by god is it so damn awful. This movie exemplifies what it takes to have such poor acting and direction. The actors, pardon me, guys and girls on the film, acted SOOO bad, and the direction! Ugh! To add to it, the classic stupidity of characters in most horror films exist here as well adding to the total dismay of the movie. I don't know how dumb can characters get but if you want to laugh, watch this.
Night Vision (1997)
Night what?
I have no idea how the title and the movie can make any connection. I think they are referring to the audience. No one but the night is watching. The movie is bad. I mean like some other movies, the action sequences were ridiculously pitiful, and the main villain looked like a pitiful reversion of Frank Nitty played by Bill Drago. I saw this at around 3 in the morning, about the time where there is usually nothing else, and even then it was pitiful enough for me to cry.
Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (1996)
Ignore this. . .
Well here I go with another B industry movie. It's sad enough to see some badly made films but I don't care if a B industry or C industry produces the film. Show some effort in your work. The characters are really bad. The acting isn't in question in this one (surprise), but plot is. How can a tight-knit squad witness two of their fellow soldiers butchered, and then go on as if nothing happened. What sickened me was how the writer even threw in the remaining members a scene where they joke about how nice the doctor's ass was. Give me a break.
Heat (1995)
A classic
This is one of my favorite films of all-time. The performances of both Pacino and De Niro in one film directed by Mann! Geez! A true classic is born. Michael Mann did an excellent job in directing this film and the plot is excellent. The early hype in the beginning of the movie of De Niro's gang, then a face to face (probably the most memorable scene) meeting between De Niro and Pacino, culminating to an impressive street shoot-out, then the final confrontation between the two brilliant actors more than gives this movie the 10 I gave it. I would give it a 20 if the votes weren't so confining.
Congo (1995)
Okay interpetation of Crichton
Well I for one did enjoy the movie. The plot was pretty well designed and depicted in the film and the actors did a pretty good job. There were some silly scenes in the movie that could've been easily rectified by an 8-year-old but overall, I enjoyed the movie. I have the tape and it is something I would watch again and again. I rate it 7 out of 10.
Breeders (1997)
What else is new?
Umm, basically everything you would expect from a bad b-rated horror flick. Poor acting, lame script, monster looking really fake, and characters who look and act like complete idiots.
Strategic Command (1997)
What? I thought that was Kurt Russell?
Obviously, someone at the writer's den couldn't think of any more ideas so they decided to steal Executive Decision. It's the same story and same EXACT plot. Plane gets hijacked, there's a bomb, a team goes in by via plane hook-up, some made it, gotta disarm bomb, and whee!! All the heroes make it. They even copied the salute in the end when the hero and soldiers saluted. Whoo, boy. Someone ought to smack the writers around for copying.
Day of the Warrior (1996)
Sorry I saw it
For a low budget, b-rated film, this movie really stinks. It's another one of those, just face and looks, type of movie. No acting, very stupid action sequences, and a very sorry cast of brainless misfits who try to masquerade as the next Bond group.
Soldier (1998)
Gimme a break...
I came in with really high expectations for Soldier. I got no less than total disappointment. Another one of those god-awful movies, Soldier is an attempt to take pieces of every other sci-fi thriller and put them together into one. If you've seen many science-fiction flicks, then you've probably seen Soldier already. The actions sequences were okay, I can give him that, but the plot is truly terrible. Soldier falls flat for me.
Batman & Robin (1997)
What the heck happened?
Batman really hits the bottom pit in this one. The fourth of the Batman series, it forces Batman and Robin to overcome their animosity towards each other and defeat the duo Mr.Freeze/Poison Ivy. Oh cripes! Where the heck should I begin? First off, George Clooney is NOT an action hero. He did a bad enough job with From Dusk till Dawn and the Peacemaker, and no thanks to the really lame script, it makes him look even more pitiful. I could understand when rumors surfaced that Clooney would not like to do another Batman flick. Second, out of all of the major characters, Chris O'Donnell did a really poor job acting the already pitiful script. "Naaah!!! You're just mad because she wants to kiss me and not you!" Gimme a break. Third, did Joel Schumacher ever consider taking this movie seriously? What did he do? Toss in a whole bunch of different characters and tell'em to go figure out how to act them out themselves? This movie is really bad, and I would not suggest it to anyone unless you are completely bored out of your mind. I'm hoping the next Batman movie fairs better (They have to, I don't think they are satisfied with the complete disappointment of this movie). A message to the director, Mr. Schumacher, forget what you think is appealing to the family. You are not directing a Disney family film. Consider the U.S. as your audience and go from there.
Blood Money (1996)
Another one of those...
Talk about one of those waste-of-your-time movies. I saw this movie on its cinemax debut and christ! If any movie can manage to put together a poorly written, badly acted, terrible action sequences with a flimsy plot, this could be the shiner. I just wasted almost an hour and a half of my time just to see if this movie ever picks up. Well the worse thing is, I watched it with very little expectation of it. However, they could've done something to make it a bit appealing to the audience.
Knock Off (1998)
Oops. Another miss...
No offense to Jeane-Claude, but he needs to judge better next time he picks a script. It's written poorly and the plot itself is so predictable. The fighting sequences are horrible (What happened with the Quest? He did an excellent job there). Plus, all the double crossing and pointless twists are ineffective. If this is his come-back film, I am extremely disappointed.
Kull the Conqueror (1997)
Stick with Hercules
As an avid fan of fantasy and adventure, I had extremely high hopes for Kull. I went in, with the thoughts of Willow (Arguably the best fantasy film ever made), and discovered two things. One, the theatre charged way too much for crappy movies and two, the movie's horrible. Kevin Sorbo plays Kull of Atlantis who joins a noble army and ends being King and also ends up being part of an intricate plot to revive some ancient demoness. I read somewhere that Kull, before its release, was edited countless times from a new director. Well that basically destoys the movie. There were more holes in the plot then there are in the Moon and none of the characters really develops in the movie. Tia plays an unconvincing villain, with little depth, and with cliche lines. The rest of the cast just drags along with the boring and overused plot. The only redeeming quality of the film are its sets. Otherwise I would give it a 1. The movie more than deserves my 3 rating.
Knock Off (1998)
Oops. Another miss...
No offense to Jeane-Claude, but he needs to judge better next time he picks a script. It's written poorly and the plot itself is so predictable. The fighting sequences are horrible (What happened with the Quest? He did an excellent job there). Plus, all the double crossing and pointless twists are ineffective. If this is his come-back film, I am extremely disappointed.
Blade (1998)
Best to come right out of the Comic Books
Usually, any horror/action film coming from a comic book would only end up as a predictable and boring flop. Unless, of course, it has a name director and a vast majority of the people know who the superhero is. However, BLADE is an exception. The fighting sequences are so riveting and crisp, and for once they involved the character more. Much of the movie would involve the emotions of the character, rather then senseless violence at every minute.