Gladman Reviews

Young Adult (2011)

Even Charlize lovers won't be satisfied

[3/10 · 25 July 2013]

I watched this movie for only one reason: it contained the beautiful woman named Charlize Theron. We follow actors for a reason which is not always justified: we think that they will pick movies that are quality and at least maintain their careers. That said, I followed this siren right off the cliff.

I hung on as long as I could. I had to stop the cringe inflated movie at least twice, only to come back to it wishing for a steamy scene to take my mind off the tripe script.

Sad to say not even a "sex" scene could redeem the event. The dialogue was so contrived and unnatural you wonder who wrote this. I won't even look up the screenwriter - perhaps I should to avoid future disasters.

I won't bother to rehash the script. There are enough reviews. Even the gorgeous Charlize won't help you this time around.

Office Space (1999)

Unwatchable

[1/10 · 28 April 2007]

We need a new rating here at IMDb: 0 or unwatchable.

I tried twice, with a day in between, to watch this unfunny piece of tripe. I even waited for Jennifer to appear, and watched her flap her gums for 15 mins. I simply could not get past the 40 minute mark of this horrible, boring, foolish movie.

I've worked in an office, and people can be annoying, as well as funny.

Quite frankly, I'd rather let a camera phone roll in our office, and focus on our office hottie for too long.

That movie would be better than this.

Once more I have no idea how this movie garnered such a high rating here at IMDb. I'm starting to lose faith in the collective wisdom here.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005)

They don't make them like that anymore

[8/10 · 27 May 2006]

In my endless quest to find a good offbeat story, I landed on this "indy" film. I'm glad I did. I know I like a film when I am willing to re-watch it with the director's commentary, as I did here (although the director's not easy to listen to).

The most fascinating aspect of this story is how this woman, or any woman, could possibly keep a household of 12 together. Even a non-alcoholic bank president would have a hard time keeping up with the bills of this small army of a family.

Of course the catch in this film is Evelyn's talent for winning mostly small, but sometimes large prizes for writing jingles. This makes an otherwise pedestrian story interesting, especially when the winnings pull the family from the brink several times.

I never did like Woody (starting with Cheers), so I had to overlook his stiff, strange demeanor in this movie too. Overcoming his and Julianne's good fitness and physique was also necessary to believe the story. Overcoming the apparent lack of cooperation from at least the older kids to run the household ("go watch TV kids while I make dinner") was also required to believe.

Overall, I enjoyed this portrait of 50s America. It's was a simpler era, where people had fewer options to diverge from their traditional roles, and thus begrudgingly (or in this case cheerfully), accept all that went with them.

A must see for all that think life is difficult today.

Lost in Translation (2003)

Sleeper...literally

[2/10 · 20 May 2006]

I can't give a full review of this movie because I didn't make it through the whole thing.

I usually watch movies in the evening at the end of a long day. If it is a good movie, I can stay awake, enough to watch the DVD special features.

This was not one of those movies.

I fell asleep twice, for 10 minute intervals. I did make the effort and rewind those minutes, worried I'd missed something important. Not to worry, apparently I didn't.

I'm not sure if I bailed at the halfway or 2/3 point, but I really couldn't wait to see if the paint finished drying in this borefest.

My only regret is wondering whether or not I missed what appeared to be an upcoming payoff scene with a nude Scarlett Johansson. Guess I'll never know!

The Door in the Floor (2004)

Abstract art, punctuated with some reality

[6/10 · 7 April 2006]

To me art films are films that look good and pretend to be really complex. They are meant to appeal to those who are so tired of looking at formula movies that they'll lap up anything off the beat and track.

This is one such film, and overall, it didn't work for me. Jeff Bridges was interesting and likable, Kim Basinger was subtly sexy and distant looking as ever, and nobody actor Jon Foster was totally out of place as the horny, deep thinking apprentice.

As a father, I am keenly interested in films involving family dynamics. Being deeply immersed in reality on a daily basis myself, I look for issues and scenes I can relate to in a film. It was very hard to identify with any such themes in this movie.

Traumatic history or not, I get really upset and annoyed at bad behaviour around children, especially small ones. If this is how the rich and/or dark side behaves, as portrayed in this movie, than I am turned off -- even in the name of "art".

My Architect (2003)

Broken families and strange buildings

[7/10 · 1 April 2006]

I rented this film because it was a documentary and highly rated. It's more a study of a bastard son trying to find out who his biological father was, than anything about architecture.

More than anything else, the underlying theme of the movie is that we have an eccentric, highly praised, possibly genius architect who had little regard for anything or anyone outside is profession.

The tragedy of the film is the broken families he left. His baby-mothers came across more as scorned fans than irresponsible women, which can only have negative results on the children.

That said, Nathaniel, the producer of the film and son of Louis Khan, came across as fairly stable and curious, if not bitter. The people he interviewed were of course more interested in talking about Louis Khan's buildings than his personal problems, but I find the mix of themes made the film interesting.

As for his buildings, I found them like abstract art - strange, non-practical, and usually only appreciated by so-called critics.

Changing Lanes (2002)

Are we there yet?

[5/10 · 29 March 2006]

I can't remember how this got on my rent list. I think I clicked the wrong title, because when I saw Ben Affleck on my screen, I said to myself, I would never rent a movie with him in it.

That said, I stuck it out, since Sam Jackson was in it, and he's normally good. Boy, was I sorry.

When you are tempted to click on the time remaining button on your DVD remote, you know you are in trouble. Besides Ben Affleck's lack of acting abilities, the plot is totally unbelievable. There were many factual errors that bothered me (I'm glad they're noted here at IMDb's goofs section).

The root of the conflict was too trivial to warrant even a speeding ticket, let alone life altering decisions. I kept hearing my mom telling me to tell the truth, and you won't have to lie to cover up a lie. If Ben's character had just for a moment done this, there would have been no movie.

Save your money and take a pass on this piece of dreck.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003)

Gripping and pathetic

[9/10 · 25 March 2006]

I like to go into these films that are highly rated without knowing much about the plot. Not living in NY, NY, I don't remember ever hearing about this case.

If it were not for the home video recordings done by the eldest son of this dysfunctional family, I doubt there would have been a movie at all.

It's these movies, dating all the way back to the patriarch Arnold's family, that humanize an otherwise abhorrent human being. It's so easy to demonize an alleged pedophile, and subsequently want to destroy an otherwise unsaveable soul, until you see his suffering family.

It's at this point you want to pause and at least listen to the rest of the story, to see if you can try to understand the path this disturbed man took to get to such a dark place.

You watch how a trio of boys grew up with an apparently loving father. You watch how they behave as any other affluent, middle class family. You watch how a dark secret gets out, and how the boys circle the wagons to defend the family against the outside invaders.

No matter how numerous, how horrible, how evil these charges are, you watch the sons fight to keep the family and its honor intact. It's a hopelessly pathetic and uphill battle, but it illustrates how children, no matter what age, no matter what damage, fight with all their might for their family. Its the strongest bond children have, and It's this fight, this tug of war, that keeps you on the edge, keeps you wondering who is telling the truth. In the end, it's decidedly clear. The winners and losers are defined. Life continues on. The illusion of a happy family is only now a muddy memory.

I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Mindless, pretentious, foolish dribble

[1/10 · 24 March 2006]

It's always a risk watching off-beat movies, so I usually stop here to get a heads-up on the rating.

How this movie averaged over 4 is mysterious to me. Perhaps there was some secret meaning I missed, but believe me, I worked hard at this movie trying to figure out what, if anything, was happening.

Clearly, nothing was happening. It was like a bad dream, a series of images and words that make no sense once you regain consciousness.

I won't go into the plot, since there was none, but suffice it to say that if you awaken halfway through the movie, like I did, calm yourself and let the whirr of the DVD player put you back to sleep.

You won't have missed a thing.

The Woodsman (2004)

Thought provoking movie

[8/10 · 16 March 2006]

It's not often you find big name stars in reportedly small budget movies on disturbing or taboo topics. These are movies I often seek out, so having Kevin Bacon attract my interest to this movie turned out well. The movie itself was filmed in dark light, to match the dark tone of the subject matter. The quiet and almost gentle soundtrack also added to the sad underlying message of the film.

Kevin Bacon does a great job being the tortured, conflicted, and uncured protagonist. His real-life wife, who is his girlfriend in the movie, adds a special flavor to the role, with the audience knowing the two are really married. Her character is slightly hard to believe, although without her, Kevin's character would probably be that much darker.

Although the subject matter is disturbing, there are no disturbing scenes in this movie to revolt you. The film climaxes with a test for Bacon's character in a park, a scene with excellent tension and emotion.

Overall, I recommend this movie for anyone willing to contemplate a difficult topic. It will remind you to cherish, and protect, your kids with every ounce of your energy.

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Smart, Intense, Clever Movie

[9/10 · 6 October 1999]

My wife is not inclined to see anything other than a romance or comedy, but she agreed to see this film and LOVED it. Not only are the performances wonderful (especially little Osment), but this is a very clever script. It makes you think and that rarely happens in the movies anymore.

Would we recommend it? Absolutely. Would we say read nothing about it until you've seen it? Certainly. It's not just the ending that stuns you. It's the entire film.

Best movie we've seen in ages and probably the best we'll see for some time to come.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Keep them shut, you won't miss much

[2/10 · 25 July 1999]

The anticipation surrounding the movie had me on the edge of my seat before the movie even started.

I was on the edge of my seat a good deal throughout the movie, only to have to sit back many, many times as the scenes dragged on and on and on and on. With no pay off time and time again, I began to wonder what the good Dr.'s problem was.

Woody Allen spices his films about sex and relationships with humour; Kubrick seems to have one sexually deviant scene after the other - none of which fits with the other, none of which fits the Dr.'s personality.

Tom Cruise was Tom Cruise in the movie in many ways - all the classic Cruise moves (running hand through hair, plunking his face into his hands that rest on his knees). Nicole Kidman was unnecessarily nude many times --- basically, the lead actors were pleasant to look at.

I've been told since watching this film that Cruise's character was the the one dreaming, while Kidman's was the one who actually went through her part - the opposite of the portrayal. That helps make some sense of the movie, although I saw no clues to this effect.

Overall, lots of sexual tension, nudity, and energy, with no payoff.

Extreme (1999)

IMAX nice to look at, but...

[5/10 · 14 June 1999]

Once again, another visually stunning IMAX movie, with little to hold it together. We see surfing the biggest waves, climbing the tallest mountains, windsurfing big waves, climbing rock faces, and snowboarding.

We hear inane comments from many of the above "athletes".

Overall, it was painful to pay full movie price for a 45 minute load of eye candy.

Ronin (1998)

Intense thriller delivers

[7/10 · 6 June 1999]

Just saw the movie on tape, and was suitably pleased with the movie to recommend it. It starts off quite confusingly, and takes a while to understand what happened at the beginning. The mystery of what the assembled men are doing builds tension and interest into the film. The middle is dominated by some of the best car chase sequences through some of the narrowest French streets you've seen. The last third really drags and appears to lose most of the movie's momentum. The payoff at the end is not as intense as the rest of the movie promises, but nevertheless, an interesting twist. Worth the rent.

There's Something About Mary (1998)

Terrible Movie

[3/10 · 26 March 1999]

Well, you all know what it's about. I was intrigued due to the huge gross this movie took in; also, I like Cameron's look.

That said, this was one of the worst movies I've ever watched. Thankfully I didn't pay for the video.

I gave this movie a 2. It would have been 0 if Cameron wasn't lighting up the screen, a 3 if she didn't have such a goofy laugh.

This movie gives hope to the aspiring filmakers out there. If this can make $100 million, anything can.

Patch Adams (1998)

Williams Scores Again

[9/10 · 27 December 1998]

Once more, Robin Williams' talents propel an otherwise interesting story into a compelling tale.

Williams' comedic genius is an apparent match for his character, Patch Adams. His off-the-wall improv makes the movie move faster, while his compassionate side makes emotional scenes all the more touching.

If you liked Dead Poet's Society and Good Will Hunting, you'll really enjoy this movie.

The Boxer (1997)

Punches a Light into Dim Situation of N. Ireland

[8/10 · 9 August 1998]

The Boxer is dark movie about a seemingly unsolvable problem. It's filmed in a constant dark, dreary, depressing light; this light reflects not only the weather but the mood of Northern Ireland.

This expose of "the troubles" in N. Ireland uses a story about a boxer who returns to his home after being released after 14 years of imprisonment. His goal is to take his most usable asset (boxing) and make something of himself and his former coach.

Like everything in N. Ireland, living normally is laced with problems when you're in the middle of a war. His interest in his now-married former girlfriend is forbidden, since prisoners of war wives are off limits to honor the prisoner. Accepting gifts from the police force is also a sign of capitulation, and as such carries penalties.

The film clearly shows that those that wish to make peace (however passively) and live normal lives are marked as disloyal and targeted by the Irish Mafia (alluded to as the IRA in the film).

It's a sad commentary on a desolate group of trouble makers in a growing desolate land.

The Negotiator (1998)

Great action packed thriller

[8/10 · 8 August 1998]

I don't want to get too cerebral as others in this area seem to have. That said, this movie was quite a seat gripper.

It stalled a few times, but for the most part accelerated up and down like a roller coaster ride.

Samuel Jackson was great, and so was Spacey. I'd highly recommend the movie.