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robh
Reviews
Road House (2024)
Missed opportunity
I was enjoying this movie up until the introduction of two terribly acted characters, the Sheriff and Knox.
The Sheriff was hopeless and I can't be sure if was terrible direction or lacklustre acting. I could have let that go, however...
Knox was an absurd cartoon character. Part Marvel character, part Guy Richie tough guy and part Bond henchman. Someone who would not be able to travel very far without being picked up by the law and put in a straight jacket.
It's a real shame because Jake was doing a fine job as Dalton, keeping things reasonably believable. Knox needed to be toned down to just be a mirror image of Dalton working for the other side.
Disappointing.
The Toll (2021)
Failed attempt at dark British comedy.
I found this film on Prime Video having never heard of it and I'll probably forget about it pretty quickly.
I was hoping for something more polished than what I found, something funnier, something cleverly crafted.
The first thing that jumped out was the location, a toll booth, but where and for what ?. A small transportable office dropped in the middle of nowhere. It looked like a disused airstrip. My mind is instantly preoccupied with what's the toll booth for ?, since toll roads are extremely rare. Then a character shows up in a top down convertible on a cold and gloomy looking day. Then another convertible classic car shows up. Later a classic Bentley makes an appearance as if we're watching Minder from the 80s. Budget wasted on out of place cars.
The creators are desperately trying to make a Guy Richie film but deliver a Shane Richie panto.
Throw in a couple of idiot comic relief characters with lines that scream "this is the funny bit, laugh now".
Poor Michael Smiley deserves better than this nonsense.
A cop is seen driving with a blue flashing light inside her car and this sums up the lack of effort they went to to make any of this believable.
The "twist' at the end is as curved the abandoned runway used as the location.
1 star for Smiley. 2 for the scenery and the rest goes to the film makers.
Tell me this was a college project and I'll re-rate it with more sympathy.
Welcome to Wrexham (2022)
Wonderful storytelling
You might come to this series out of curiosity about why Rob and Ryan wanted to get involved in a football club so far from home and how their journey developed. After a few episodes you'll start to become familiar with some of the players, some of the staff, and some of the fans. Each episode we learn a bit more about the community that is so connected to the team.
This documentary will be looked at very fondly in 50 years time, as a snapshot of what it meant to be a football fan in the UK, supporting a small town team. Rob and Ryan made this series commercially viable, but they are just two of characters in this story and they appear to genuinely realise this fact.
Beast (2022)
Don't go into the basement
This movie can be compared to a bad horror flick where the characters have no common sense whatsoever and constantly walk into peril.
You find yourself asking yourself or the people watching with you "why would anyone do that?".
It's not a spoiler but at one stage a character disturbs two crocodiles next to some water, the crocs decide to swim away so the character starts wading in the same water.
Later, another character decides to get out of a car to go wander in the scrub to look for someone, knowing there's a killer lion somewhere nearby.
Characters sit and even sleep next to a car door without a window when hiding from the lion.
Then comes the finale, where the main character chooses what should be a suicide mission instead of a nice safe place to wait for help.
3/10 for the special effects. 0/10 for believability.
History of the World: Part II (2023)
Dire
I stumbled on this series on the day of release and was intrigued how it would be updated to today's audiences.
As a teen in the 80s I watched the original film and loved it. Since then I've matured slightly but sadly the level of comedy here has not. I guess that's the intention, but it fails miserably.
It's hard to think there would be an audience today for this material, kids today won't find this engaging. It has not aged well. The original movie was over the top silly that worked at the time. Comedy moved on in the years that followed.
I gave up after about 10 minutes without a single laugh.
The Gray Man (2022)
Don't bother, you've seen it already. The Gray Plot.
If you haven't seen this movie yet, you actually have, a hundred times already. There's absolutely nothing original from the first scene to the last. Every character can be equated with one you've seen in countless action packed espionage film from the last four decades, every plot turn is a repeat of someone else's story. Every action sequence is a cookie cutter copy of someone else's previously filmed imagination. The ending is exactly what you expected, because it makes no effort to innovate or surprise. Chris Evans' character is your stereotypical psychopathic bad guy completely devoid of believability. Gosling's character is so monotone in every way you feel he needs a slap to wake him up.
Kaleidoscope (2023)
We got Yellow then Green
I was going to give up after the first offering, which was Yellow. Some of the characters were slightly interesting, but the subplot was cliched and not believable.
We decided to give it a second chance with Green. Again the characters were sometimes interesting but their actions and luck were not believable. It's as if the writers just watch Oceans 11 all day long.
Randomising the order of the episodes is an interesting gimmick, but adds nothing. It's clearly intended to stimulate conversation about which episodes you've seen so that you compare your progress with others. That might work if any episode is a must see, but so far, that seems unlikely.
I won't be wasting any more time on this experiment.
Luck (2022)
Had promise but under delivers
The initial bad luck scenes were funny and the introduction to the lucky world was ok.
Then we got the convoluted setup of how luck is created and delivered. This was a bit of a yawn fest due to it all being overthought in order to create a big concept and scene.
Kids will probably stay engaged but confused by what's going on.
I wish animations would give more actors a chance to star. Paying big names to add nothing but cost is disappointing. Simon Peg doing fake accents was painful to listen to. I think he was channeling Rowan Atkinson towards the end. The others stars were unrecognizable and easily replaced. John Ratzenberger was the only one to earn his keep.
Unprecedented (2022)
Over hyped
This documentary has been hyped as a smoking gun for 45's involvement in planning the insurection.
Either the raw footage contains the key information or we've been duped.
It's still an interesting insight into the campaign, but not at all revealing. It's heavily managed and has no revelations or gotcha moments.
The Essex Serpent (2022)
Too slow
For a mini-series the pace is really slow. It has the feel of a Hound of the Baskervilles mystery but after 2 episodes I feel the only appeal is the unusual scenery. Might skip the rest of the episodes.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Never heard of this film
I like Bill Murray so was surprised I hadn't heard about this film until it came up in a Disney+ suggestion.
Having now watched this film, I know why it'd never hit my radar before.
I'm all for unusual comedies, but this isn't funny. I don't recall even cracking a smirk at any point.
I watched to the bitter end just in case there was a payoff in the end. Nope.
Suspicion (2022)
Intriguing after 2 episodes
Unlike some others I find the acting fine and the story intriguing.
The true test is whether the storyline can continue to keep me interested. Many Apple series go nonsensical after a few episodes.
Potential spoiler ahead...
My prediction after 2 episodes is the kidnapped son is part of the plot to bring down his mother.
The Green Knight (2021)
Dark
No expense was spent on lighting for much of the film. I had to stop watching the room was pitch black to see what was happening.
The story had potential but it was a bit King Arthur meets Twin Peaks at times.
Don't Look Up (2021)
A waste of talent
The film tries too hard to come across as a comedy when it should just play it straight and leave the audience to recognise where it matches the current absurdity of life in the US today.
Army of Thieves (2021)
Down hill
I've not seen Army of the dead and was unaware of it until after watching this film,
The start is quirky and interesting but quickly wanders off into nonsensical storylines.
As the story progresses, the unintentional ridiculousness steadily builds.
It's only when you learn that one of the characters is needed for the sequel that the penultimate scene makes sense - sense in the reason it happened that way but no sense whatsoever in the believability of the scene.
The only redeeming part of this production is Nathalie Emmanuel. She has several very different looks in this film, all of which distracted me enough to keep watching.
Invasion (2021)
Hard work
Apart from the really slow pace, the thing that makes this series hard going for me is the quality of the dialog.
The first thing I do for each episode is enable subtitles. My 5.1 sound doesn't help with mumbled and whispered dialog.
One of the episodes took place at night. Even with a fancy OLED screen that's really good with blacks, I couldn't make out a thing watching in a dark room, other than the subtitles needed to follow the unfathomable dialog.
Why are you making it so hard to watch ?
Foundation (2021)
Way too slow and hard to follow
My wife loves theses kinds of series and occasionally I can get hooked too.
Sadly this is too slow and over complicated for me. I can't just zone out and enjoy it because you need to concentrate hard on the dialog to have half a chance of following what's going on.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
So bad it's funny
I ended up laughing out loud at the absurdity of the plot and its execution.
I gave it a 2 out of 10 for comedic value.
MST2K would have a field day with this material.
Free Guy (2021)
Fizzled out
I enjoyed the first half of the movie where Guy interacts with his changed reality.
The 2nd half of the movie gets bogged down in typical Hollywood good guy nerds race to save the world type clichés.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Pleasantly surprised
I hadn't heard of this film and stumbled on it scrolling through Netflix.
The easily relatable and likeable lead character captured my attention and the excellent special effects worked well to keep the action and the plot moving nicely.
Not a masterpiece but good old fashioned family action adventure.
Soul (2020)
Interesting, but not as good as Inside Out
I was expecting to be touched as I was watching Inside Out, a film that makes my eyes tear up every time.
Maybe you need to be religious and have some belief in existence before and after life to get fully immersed in this one.
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2020)
As expected
Not as good as his earlier movies. There are a couple of funny moments, but it's mostly humor based on grossing out the audience instead of deserving bigots and powerful fools being exposed and mocked. I much prefer the latter.
Cats (2019)
How you approach this film will determine if you love it or hate it.
I knew this story was a classic old stage musical that was incredibly popular. I'd never seen it before but was familiar with a few of the songs.
Had I gone into this movie expecting a disney or pixar type presentation I'd have been disappointed. Instead I expected to see something resembling a stage performance enhanced with some movie world magic and that's exactly what I got.
Knives Out (2019)
Entertaining
A classic whodunnit.
Sure you can guess who but it doesn't spoil from the how and why.
Dolittle (2020)
Painful
Doolittle's inconsistent Welsh accent is unnecessary and distracting. If that weren't enough it sure sounds like it's dubbed in every scene.
The plot is absurd.