The Orville (TV Series)

New Dimensions (2017)

Norm MacDonald: Yaphit

Photos 

Quotes 

• Yaphit : Hey, Doc.

  Dr. Claire Finn : [to herself]  Oh, god. The last person I want to see right now.

• Yaphit : I think I lost a piece.

  Dr. Claire Finn : Uh, excuse me?

  Yaphit : I feel like I'm missing a piece, and I can't for the life of me figure out where i lost it.

  Dr. Claire Finn : Well, okay. Hop up on the table, let's have a look.

  [scanning him] 

  Dr. Claire Finn : I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but when your species loses a piece of tissue, is it conscious?

  Yaphit : Kind of. I have a dim sense of a dark, wet place. I-I just can't get any more specific than that.

• Lt. John LaMarr : Look, Yaphit, I-I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. You know, we were just messing around. You know, it was a joke.

  Yaphit : A joke? I spent an hour in Bortus' colon! You think that's funny?

  [Ty and Marcus laugh] 

  Yaphit : Oh, yeah, laugh it up, you brats.

• Capt. Ed Mercer : Yaphit, what are you doing here?

  Yaphit : I have a grievance.

  Capt. Ed Mercer : How'd you get into my office?

  Yaphit : I'm gel.

• Yaphit : I want to know why you guys put John in charge of the science team instead of me.

  Capt. Ed Mercer : Commander Grayson and I both feel that Lieutenant LaMarr deserves to be in the running for chief engineer.

  Yaphit : What? You gotta be kidding me. What the hell has that son of a bitch ever done to deserve...

  Capt. Ed Mercer : No final decisions have been made, and I am aware that you're next in line for the job, but we have our reasons for considering him.

  Yaphit : It's 'cause I'm gelatinous, isn't it? You guys can't handle the thought of a gelatinous person in charge of a department.

  Capt. Ed Mercer : Yaphit, that's not it.

  Yaphit : This is so racist, man. You're so friggin' racist.

  Capt. Ed Mercer : I am not. I have several gelatinous friends.

  Yaphit : This is a bunch of crap, man. This is total crap. Permission to return to duty.

  Capt. Ed Mercer : Granted.

  Yaphit : [stopping at the door]  You know what? There was less crap in Bortus' colon.

• Dr. Claire Finn : Bortus. What can I do for you?

  Lt. Cmdr. Bortus : I am experiencing digestive discomfort.

  Dr. Claire Finn : With your iron stomach? Okay. Have a seat.

  [scanning him] 

  Dr. Claire Finn : Um, Yaphit?

  Yaphit : Yeah?

  Dr. Claire Finn : I think I found your piece.

  Yaphit : Wh... what do you mean?

  Dr. Claire Finn : Inside Bortus' digestive tract.

  Yaphit : What? What the hell, man? You friggin' ate me?

  Lt. Cmdr. Bortus : I did not eat you.

  Yaphit : Well, what the hell am I doing inside you, you bastard?