- Penny: You asked Stephen Hawking and not her father?
- Sheldon Cooper: Stephen Hawking's a genius. If he said no, I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: But you did ask my father?
- Sheldon Cooper: I did. He said yes. Although not in a robot voice, so it wasn't nearly as cool.
- Penny: Okay. Oh, my god, I can't believe you guys are engaged.
- Sheldon Cooper: We're not engaged yet. She's taking forever to answer.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [irked] Because you're on the phone!
- Sheldon Cooper: We'll call you back.
- [he hangs up; Leonard hangs up his end, as well; a second later, the phone rings]
- Sheldon Cooper: She said yes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother, I have some good news to share.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [giddily] We're engaged!
- Mary Cooper: I am so happy for you two, but I'm not surprised. I've been praying for this.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, God had nothing to do with it. It happened because I was kissing another woman, and it made me realize I wanted to be with Amy.
- Mary Cooper: More than one woman was interested in you? I might have prayed a little too hard.
- Sheldon Cooper: I want to let you know right now that we are not getting married in a church.
- Mary Cooper: That's all right, Sheldon. Anywhere Jesus is is a church.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, he won't be at our wedding.
- Mary Cooper: He's in my heart, so if I'm there, he'll be there.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, well, then he's your plus-one. You don't get to bring anyone else.
- Mary Cooper: That's fine. Love you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Love you, too. Bye.
- Mary Cooper: [they hang up] Lord, thank you. Even though you can do anything, that was mighty impressive.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, where you been? We've been calling you for hours.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry. My phone was on "airplane" mode.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why?
- Sheldon Cooper: Because I was on an airplane.
- [he gives Amy a "duh" look]
- Sheldon Cooper: There's something I need to say to you.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm listening.
- Sheldon Cooper: I've been thinking about the Avengers.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I believe that. But I don't think that's something you needed to say to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I realized that Iron Man is great. And also, that Captain America is great. And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie, and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie. You know, he can fly in, give the audience a thrill, and then fly away. And that should've been me tonight. I should have been the delightful cameo in your movie.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: Instead, I was like the Hulk, and I...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay, please stop talking about the Avengers.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm proud of you. And I'm going to try to do a better job of sharing the spotlight, because we're a team. You know? Much like... t-the Dodgers. If they had superpowers, and fought crime. And Thor was in them.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, I know this isn't easy, but you'll have a whole lifetime to practice.
- Sheldon Cooper: I... it could take that long. I'm really bad at it.
- [they hug]
- Sheldon Cooper: You know, maybe, um, I should start right now and go back to Pasadena and let you have this experience to yourself.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You just want to go back 'cause that's where everybody makes a fuss over you.
- Sheldon Cooper: You know, your colleagues are right. You are brilliant.
- Stuart Bloom: Who would've thought that Sheldon and Amy would be the next two to tie the knot?
- Raj Koothrappali: Tell me about. I'm the one who caught the bouquet at Leonard and Penny's wedding.
- Stuart Bloom: Okay. Uh, you know, they might like this. Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hmm. You know what? Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone?
- Stuart Bloom: [gesturing around the store] Literally everything.
- Raj Koothrappali: They're my friends, and I should be happy for them. And... and I'm trying, but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut.
- Stuart Bloom: I had that once. Turned out it was a tapeworm.
- Raj Koothrappali: Cool. Uh... it's just... it's hard talking to my other friends about this, but I knew you'd understand.
- Stuart Bloom: Why is that?
- Raj Koothrappali: Because you and I are both alone, which is actually kind of comforting, because at least we can be alone together.
- Stuart Bloom: Mm. This is... this is awkward. I, um... I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight 'cause I have a date.
- Raj Koothrappali: Really?
- Stuart Bloom: Yeah.
- Raj Koothrappali: Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you.
- Stuart Bloom: Don't be silly. I'm loving your pain.
- Sheldon Cooper: Will you marry me?
- [his phone rings]
- Sheldon Cooper: One moment, please.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [incredulous] Really? You're gonna answer that right now?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's Leonard. I don't want to be rude.
- Penny: Hey, where are you?
- Sheldon Cooper: I came to Princeton to see Amy. It's a funny story, actually. I was having lunch with Dr. Nowitzki, and she kissed me.
- Penny: Excuse me?
- Leonard Hofstadter: What?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry?
- Sheldon Cooper: And in that moment, I realized that Amy was the only woman I ever wanted to kiss for the rest of my life. So I came to New Jersey to ask her to marry me.
- Howard Wolowitz: [on the phone with Sheldon] Well, congratulations. I'm so happy for you two. Hold on, I have to tell Bernadette.
- [knocking on the closed bathroom door]
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey, Bernie, guess what? Sheldon and Amy got engaged. Can you believe it?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [staring in worry at a pregnancy test] Oh, my god. I cannot believe it.
- Howard Wolowitz: [obliviously] She's so happy... I think she's crying.
- Sheldon Cooper: All right, I'm all checked in to my flight.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, I'm sad you're leaving. Why'd you only book a flight for one day?
- Sheldon Cooper: I came here to propose. If you'd said no, I wouldn't want to stick around looking at your stupid face.
- [seeing her expression]
- Sheldon Cooper: Now, mind you, your face is only stupid in the "no" version of the story.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: But I said yes, so I get a lifetime of this.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, you do, smart face.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [offering Penny a cake] Surprise!
- Penny: Oh, crap. Is it our anniversary?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. Wait.
- [thinking for a moment]
- Leonard Hofstadter: No.
- Penny: No. All right, so what are we celebrating?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnant again, and Amy and Sheldon are getting married. I didn't want you to feel left out.
- Penny: Oh. Left out? Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her, and Amy has to marry one. My life is great.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So do you not want the cake?
- Penny: [he moves to take it back] Try and take it away, see what happens.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking it] Oh, crap. It is our anniversary.
- Penny: [through a mouthful of cake] Happy anniversary!
- Penny: Do you think Sheldon's gonna want some weird "Star Trek" wedding?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [distracted] I don't know.
- Penny: Well, Leonard could barely finish the words "Doctor Who wedding cake" before I shut that down hard.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Mm-hmm.
- Penny: Are you listening to me?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah, you're mean to Leonard. I heard you.
- Sheldon Cooper: We're engaged.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, my god, that's amazing! Wait, uh, tell me everything.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, Dr. Nowitzki was kissing me...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay, you can stop leading with that part of the story.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Look, I'm gonna tell you something, but you can't freak out because I'm already freaking out.
- Penny: Oh, my god. What is it?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I'm pregnant again.
- Penny: Wha...
- [realizing she's about to freak out, she composes herself]
- Penny: Interesting.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Howard's gonna lose his mind.
- Penny: Wait, you haven't told him yet?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No.
- Penny: [touched] You told me first? Oh, Bernie!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: This wasn't supposed to happen. We were careful.
- Penny: Yeah, I didn't even think you could get pregnant while you were breastfeeding.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Well, guess what? You can.
- Penny: Okay, look... look, this is a good thing. Halley's gonna have a little brother or sister to play with.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I guess that would be pretty cute.
- Penny: And, you know, I was a surprise to my parents, and my dad said it was the best thing that ever happened to them.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Okay. Maybe this baby actually is a blessing.
- Penny: Oh, my god, honey, of course it is.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [pause] How am I pregnant again?
- Penny: Yeah, what were you thinking?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm having dinner with some colleagues tonight. I'm sure they'd love to meet you.
- [he lets out a moan of disinterest]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Come on, what do you say?
- Sheldon Cooper: Aw, you're nagging me. It's like we're already married.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Is that a yes or a no?
- Sheldon Cooper: Jeez, save some for the honeymoon.
- Raj Koothrappali: Now that Sheldon's out of the picture, I could give you one more chance to go out with me.
- Ramona Nowitzki: Nope. I'm good.
- Raj Koothrappali: You sure? I will not ask again.
- Ramona Nowitzki: I sincerely hope not.
- Raj Koothrappali: Very well. I'm going to leave before this gets awkward.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, these are the heads of my research team.
- Sheldon Cooper: [shaking hands] Hello.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Dr. Zane, Dr. Harris, this is my fiancé, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. That's the first time I've said that, and it kind of gave me the goosebumps.
- Dr. Harris: Dr. Cooper, we are so excited to meet you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh. Well, that's very kind of you. If you'd like, I could autograph your menus after dinner, yeah? But I'd better not see those on eBay.
- Dr. Zhang: [he laughs] No, no, no. We're just excited to meet the man who landed this brilliant woman here.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh! That wasn't hard. She threw herself at me. Now, getting the universe to show me her naughty bits, that... that took some doing.
- Dr. Zhang: I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to sit here and listen to a bunch of work talk.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, no, I love it. No, but let's talk about work. Amy's work, my work. You know what? Why don't we start with my work?
- Dr. Harris: Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper. When Amy first told you about her approach to synaptic tracing, did you think it was gonna revolutionize the field?
- Sheldon Cooper: I d... really? That's your question? What are you, "Entertainment Tonight"? You know what? I'm gonna give you a better question. Here, um... "Dr. Cooper, I heard you were working on a top-secret project for the U.S. military. Why don't you tell us about that?". See, that's a great question.
- Dr. Harris: Okay, what was that like?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I can't tell you that. It's top secret.
- Sheldon Cooper: Boy, that was exhausting. You know, no offense, but your colleagues were pretty rude.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? They were rude?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes. They just kept talking about you and how great you are, no matter how many times I brought me up.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, these are my colleagues, and they want to talk about my work. Why does that bother you so much?
- Sheldon Cooper: Because I was there. It's like having Optimus Prime over to dinner and not asking him to turn into a truck.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know what, Sheldon? You're not always the smartest person in every room. You may not even be the smartest person in this room.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I am sorry. What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch? 'Cause if he is, he's not that smart; it's pretty dusty back there.
- [Amy storms off]
- Sheldon Cooper: Hey, where are you going?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm storming off to my room.
- Sheldon Cooper: Wait, where am I supposed to storm off to?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, you're so smart. Why don't you figure it out?
- Sheldon Cooper: [looking around as her door closes] Is there another bedroom? Perhaps a... a den?
- Leonard Hofstadter: So, how are you guys doing with all the new events in your... womb?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Good, you know? Obviously, it was a surprise. There was some crying and some yelling.
- Howard Wolowitz: Some suggestion of make-up sex that did not go over well, even though it's not like we can get more pregnant.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it...
- Howard Wolowitz: And we already have one.
- Penny: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color.
- [realizing what her statement sounds like]
- Penny: Which I hope is not the case for your baby.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I know you guys are freaked out, but you're great parents, and if you ever need help, we are here for you.
- Penny: Yeah. Anything at all, just ask.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Ooh, you know what you could do? You could have a baby, too.
- Penny: I'm sorry, what?
- Howard Wolowitz: No, that's a great idea. We could go through it together. Wouldn't that be fun?
- Leonard Hofstadter: You guys were just saying how freaked out and miserable you are.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I say a lot of crazy things. I'm pregnant and hormonal. Do it! Have a baby, do it!
- Howard Wolowitz: Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together? What do you say? Why don't you two hit the old mattress and whip up a family?
- Penny: Okay, we're not gonna have a baby just to make you guys feel better.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. If we're gonna have a baby, it's gonna be when we are ready, or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me.
- Penny: Exactly.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Why don't you stay a few extra days?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I don't have any other clothes.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: We'll get you some.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty particular.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, there's a comic book store less than a mile from here.
- Sheldon Cooper: Perfect. Let's go shopping.
- Stephen Hawking: Well, Sheldon, I think you should make her finger like Saturn and put a ring on it.
- Stephen Hawking: Are you sitting in the bathroom?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes. I needed a place to storm off to and it was all that was available.
- Stephen Hawking: Fine, but if I hear a flush, this conversation is over.
- Sheldon Cooper: These people wer in the presence of a world-class mind and all the wanted to talk about was their own nonsense,
- Stephen Hawking: Can you see the irony in that statement?... How about now?... How about now?... I'll wait.