- Bart Curlish: [to Suzie] I'm not going to kill you, even though it feels like I should. And I think that sometimes when you're killing people, they don't like it. And it makes them unhappy and - and scared. Which they don't like, I don't think. So, I'm not going to kill you to make you a happier person.
- Testing Center Voice #1: This concludes today's testing. You have done a...
- Testing Center Voice #2: *very bad*
- Testing Center Voice #1: ...job.
- Sherlock Hobbs: Tina! Tina Tevetino! Get in here! Where the heck have you been?
- Tina Tevetino: Okay, so yes, okay, I'm high but I'm not drunk. Okay I am drunk, but it was just white wine and I slept most of it off. Okay I have been sleeping in my car all day, but guess what? Nothing happened. Nothing is going to happen, nothing ever happens!
- [he frowns at her]
- Tina Tevetino: What's the face?
- Sherlock Hobbs: Something happened.
- Mage: Have you noticed an acceleration of strangeness in your life?
- Suzie Boreton: [terrified] Mm-Hmm.
- [first lines]
- Boy: [voice over] Darkness has come to the Land of Wendimoor, an evil wizard called The Mage has risen, his great army destroying everything in its path. Now he marches on to the Valley of Inglenook, where a war between two families rages.
- Suzie Boreton: Mister, you're grounded. Your phone privileges are revoked. Hand it over.
- Scott Boreton: [he gives her his phone] Ahh! Gah! I'm not afraid of you anymore, Mom! I'm going to get that back, and you are going to get me those tickets!
- Suzie Boreton: Yeah, we'll see about that, Bucko! Because I am the boss here, and I make the rules, and I decide what...
- [he locks her out of the house]
- Suzie Boreton: [whimpering] No, don't lock it!
- [looking at the big wet spot in the abandoned barn]
- Todd Brotzman: There has to be a way up there, then that'll be a secret chamber, or something, or a tunnel maybe? Or maybe it's invisible. Maybe we're looking at it right now.