Pete Davidson: Mirage
Photos
Quotes
-
Mirage : Okay, so where is this t-tran, t-trun...
Arcee : Transwarp Key?
Mirage : Thank you.
Arcee : It's in the new museum on Ellis Island.
Bumblebee : Let's blow it up and get the hell out of Dodge.
Arcee : No, we can't just go in blasting and steal it, Bee. The humans will hunt us down. What we need is a quiet way in.
Mirage : [getting down from a scaffold, Noah makes a loud noise of clattering metal] Ooh, how about him?
Optimus Primal : No.
Mirage : What? Come on, man. He could slip in right through one of them little doors, grab the Key, leave a nice IOU, and peace out. He's perfect.
Noah Diaz : What?
Optimus Primal : No, it is a bad idea.
Noah Diaz : I agree with Big Man. So, it's been real, y'all. But...
Mirage : Uh, time-out.
Optimus Primal : Mirage.
Mirage : No, no, I know, I know. Just relax. Let me just talk to my guy real quick.
-
Arcee : Mirage, what have you done?
Optimus Prime : You brought a human here?
Mirage : Optimus! Hey! Looking good, man! Wait a second. Are those new rims?
Optimus Prime : You were told to stay hidden.
Mirage : Right, right. Crazy coincidence. When you called, all Optimus-like...
[imitating Prime]
Mirage : "Autobots, roll out!" - this guy was already in the car. But he's cool, so it's cool. Cool?
Optimus Prime : [picking Noah up] Not cool. Who are you, human?
Noah Diaz : I'm nobody. I ain't even seen nothing. I'm not even seeing anything right now.
Optimus Prime : Arcee.
Arcee : [scanning him] Private Noah Diaz, U.S. Army. Multiple commendations. A wizard with electronics. Huh. He's a soldier.
Optimus Prime : He does not look like a soldier.
Noah Diaz : I mean, you looking pretty rough yourself.
Mirage : [snickering] Sorry, sir.
Optimus Prime : I will deal with your mistake later.
-
Mirage : [Drives away] Prime! What the hell are you doing?
Optimus Prime : [Aiming at Scourge] I'm going to take back Scourge's key, and then... take off his head.
-
Arcee : Okay, the energy surge we felt was in the 4,000 yottahertz range, which is undetectable to humans. I've reconstructed the source from the energy echoes.
Optimus Prime : [seeing a hologram of the Transwarp Key] I cannot believe it. It exists and it is here.
Bumblebee : [clip from "Spaceballs"] What the hell am I looking at?
Optimus Prime : The Transwarp Key. It was thought to be lost thousands of years ago. It was once used to open space-time portals to Energon-rich planets throughout the universe.
Mirage : You mean Energon-rich planets like...
Arcee : Cybertron.
Optimus Prime : After seven long years stranded on Earth, we've finally found a way home.
-
Noah Diaz : So, y'all are robots that transform into cars, even though you're from way out in space. But now there's this key that opens a portal back to your home. Oh, and you know this because there's a beacon light in the sky that I can't see because I'm human.
Mirage : You say that like it's weird.
Noah Diaz : It's super weird.
Mirage : You know what's weird? Marky Mark is leaving the Funky Bunch! I heard he's just gonna pursue acting now. That's crazy!
Noah Diaz : What? How does that...
Mirage : What a world.
-
Noah Diaz : I'm just trying to collect this money and get your angry-ass boss off of Earth before he blows a gasket.
Mirage : Don't take it personal. He just misses home. And I think he blames himself for us getting stuck here. Earth was supposed to be a pit stop, you know, a place for us to regroup and rejoin the war back home. Prime feels like it's his fault we've been stranded here, like he has to fix it all on his own.
-
Mirage : [asking Noah for help to obtain the Transwarp Key] Yo, don't leave me with these tight-asses, bro. We make a great team.
Optimus Prime : This is a waste of time.
Noah Diaz : Look, I'm not breaking into a museum for some space robots.
Mirage : But what about for friendship?
[seeing Noah isn't convinced]
Mirage : Uh, uh... or, or, or what about for cash?
[Noah's interest piques]
Mirage : Uh-huh. You help us get this key, so we can get off this rock - no offense. Love the neighborhood and all. - And then I let you sell me.
[transforming]
Mirage : Lambo? Ferrari? Indy? Look, you get paid and then I'll split.
Noah Diaz : So all I gotta do is walk in and out?
Mirage : All you gotta do. We'll take care of the rest. Cross my spark and hope to die. Wow! That was corny when I said it out loud.
Noah Diaz : What about the big man? Optimal, or whatever.
Mirage : You let me worry about him. Cool?
-
Mirage : So, what kind of jet we taking to Peru? Or is it a plane? Either one's fine. I just need first class, okay? 'Cause I got long-ass legs.
Arcee : Uh, well, he is a plane.
Mirage : No. No, no. Don't... don't tell me we're flying on...
[seeing a C-119 Flying Boxcar cargo plane]
Mirage : Oh, no.
Stratosphere : [transforming as he lands] My lads! I am Stratosphere, lord of the skies!
Mirage : Yeah, I'm walking to Peru.
-
Arcee : All right, team, heads up. There's security up ahead.
Mirage : Nice! This is gonna be fun, man.
Noah Diaz : No, no, no. No, bro. You need to switch it up. I-I... you need to turn into a helicopter or a speedboat or something.
Mirage : I got something way better than that.
[cut to the museum, where Noah pulls up to the gate in a garbage truck and security lets him in]
Noah Diaz : Good call.
-
Mirage : Wu-Tang is in the building, baby!
Optimus Prime : Way to be incognito.
Mirage : Aw, come on, Prime. Smile a little bit. It won't hurt. Let me see that underbite.
-
Optimus Primal : Airazor.
Airazor : Primal. I thought you were lost. All of you.
Optimus Primal : The others, are they...
Airazor : I am all that is left. Prime, these are my fellow Maximals. Rhinox. Cheetor.
Cheetor : Sorry about scaring you, brother.
Mirage : Scared?
[scoffing]
Mirage : Please. I'm not scared. That's just engine oil.
Airazor : And our leader, Optimus Primal.
Optimus Prime : Optimus Primal?
Optimus Primal : Named after you, the legendary warrior of Cybertron.
-
Noah Diaz : At least the foot soldiers took the bait.
Elena Wallace : Yeah, but Scourge didn't. He's guarding the key.
Mirage : All right, this should lead to the bottom of the Transwarp control panel. Get the key, get the hell out of there.
Noah Diaz : Wait, what are you gonna do?
Mirage : I'm gonna go distract Scourge.
Noah Diaz : No, you can't take on Scourge alone.
Mirage : Relax. I'm Mirage, remember?
-
Noah Diaz : Hey, back there you called me Sonic.
Mirage : Yeah. Your little bro's got this thing about using real names over the airwaves, so...
Noah Diaz : Wait, you've been talking to Kris?
Mirage : Uh-huh.
[showing the walkie-talkie fused into his arm]
Mirage : He gave me this to keep tabs on you, make sure I'm keeping my promise.
Noah Diaz : [offering back the weapon Mirage gave him] Oh, here. Next time, include warning labels.
Mirage : Nah, go ahead, keep it.
Noah Diaz : I guess it does look better on me.
Mirage : Just don't ask what part of my body it came from.
-
Mirage : [after a car chase with the NYPD] Whoo-hoo-hoo! That felt good! Get some oil pumping, you know? Damn! I've been cooped up forever, dude. I can't tell you how old it gets!
[imitating Prime]
Mirage : "Mirage, stay hidden. Mirage, don't draw any attention to yourself. Mirage, 'Big' is just a movie. You'll never be a real boy." But that was fun, man. You're fun, dude.
[seeing Noah is freaked out]
Mirage : Oh, right. This is probably a lot for you, huh?
Noah Diaz : [picking up a piece of pipe to defend himself] Yo, back up.
Mirage : Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the aggression? I thought after the car chase, we were boys. Are you gonna hit me?
Noah Diaz : Maybe.
Mirage : It's like that?
[he aims a plasma gun on his arm, but Noah stands firm]
Mirage : Hmm. Tough guy. I like that. I like it a lot.
Noah Diaz : What are you? Some sort of possessed car or something?
Mirage : Nah. That's not real, man. I'm an alien.
Noah Diaz : Like... like E.T.?
Mirage : E.T.? The little ugly guy in the basket? Look at this face! The name's Mirage.
[holding out his hand for a fist bump]
Mirage : Come on. Give me a little, give me a little. Give me a little. Give a little tap. Give me a little tap.
[Noah fist-bumps]
Mirage : There you go! Now we're friends!
-
Optimus Prime : [after Bumblebee is destroyed] This is my fault. It should have been me.
Airazor : I'm sorry for your loss.
Mirage : No offense, lady, but who are you again?
Airazor : My name is Airazor. I am a Maximal. A warrior from both your past and future.
Mirage : Oh, right. That... that tracks. Yeah.
Airazor : We fled our home planet on the eve of its destruction. We sought refuge and hid here on Earth.
Elena Wallace : Right. So you're a Maximal. Y'all are Autobots. What was those things that attacked us earlier?
Airazor : Terrorcons. Servants of a dark, hungry god who feeds on entire worlds to sustain himself.
Optimus Prime : Unicron.
Mirage : So you're saying this thing Unicron eats planets to survive?
Airazor : Yes. And he imbues his servants, like Scourge, with dark energy, which makes him all but invincible. He is entirely beholden to Unicron. Through his power, he possesses Scourge's soul.
-
Noah Diaz : Look, that thing I told you I have to go do? It's for him and his crew.
Mirage : We're trying to stop the end of the world.
Kris Diaz : The world's ending?
Noah Diaz : No!
Mirage : Maybe. 60/40.
Noah Diaz : You know I'm not gonna let that happen. But that's why I have to leave.
Kris Diaz : I'll go get my things.
Mirage : Tough kid.
Noah Diaz : What? No. Whoa, whoa. Hold up. Hold up. You... you're not coming.
Kris Diaz : Why? You need someone to watch your back.
Noah Diaz : It's too dangerous, Kris. And I need you to stay here and take care of Mom.
Kris Diaz : [understanding the implication] 'Cause you might not come back.
-
Wheeljack : The coordinates you gave me correspond to an old church. Take a look.
Elena Wallace : That's Santo Domingo. The Spanish built it on top of an old Inca temple.
Wheeljack : Correcto. I picked up some residual energy readings around the courtyard, so I'm guessing the key's somewhere close by. But we may have some trouble getting there. Inti Raymi. It's a festival that shuts down the whole city.
Mirage : Guess it's a night mission, then.
Optimus Prime : No. Scourge could already be here. We must retrieve the other half before he does.
Noah Diaz : Me and Elena will do it.
Elena Wallace : Hmm?
Noah Diaz : Y-Y'all would never make it two blocks.
Arcee : There's human security all around the church. You'll never get through.
Noah Diaz : Then we'll have to take a play out of your book. We'll hide in plain sight. We'll blend in with the parade.
Optimus Prime : It is not a bad idea. We will keep an eye out for the Terrorcons. On first sign of trouble, we are going in.
-
Noah Diaz : There's gotta be a way to stop this dude.
Optimus Primal : It's too late. The Transwarp has already been activated. It has more energy than a supernova. Any interruption will ignite it like a bomb. The only way to stop this process is an access code installed long ago as a safeguard.
Mirage : Okay, what's the code, then?
Optimus Primal : The code was split along with the key. Sadly, the second half of that code died with Airazor.
Elena Wallace : No, wait, wait. I-I got it. The one hiding her half of the key, it had markings in it just like the ones I found in the cave where you hid yours. Together, they must complete the access code.
Optimus Primal : Hmm.
Noah Diaz : So we got a chance now, right?
Optimus Primal : A slim chance.
Optimus Prime : That is all we need, if you will show us the way, Primal.
