The Good Catholic (2017)

John C. McGinley: Ollie

Quotes 

• [Father Ollie enters wearing an Indiana basketball jersey over his robe] 

  Victor : Oh, now, come on, come on!

  Ollie : What, Father?

  Victor : Well, even the Franciscans had-had some rules about... THIS!

  Ollie : Let me check, Father.

  [opens the Bible and reads] 

  Ollie : "And cometh game day, 'tis okay to go forth in the colors of thine chosen team unless thine chosen team is the Purdue Boilermakers or the Kentucky Wildcats." God is good. Tip off's in five minutes. I'm makin' my nachos.

• Ollie : [sitting in a car with Daniel after giving a dead man last rites]  It's awfully easy to forget, but... we are pretty damn lucky to be able to do what we do.

  Daniel : Priests?

  Ollie : Humans.

• Ollie : Look, you gotta... you gotta find something of your own, something selfish and stupid and... human; otherwise, you just might wind up like Victor.

  Daniel : What's wrong with that?

  Ollie : He wears his collar to Target. I mean he literally puts on his collar to buy Honey Nut Cheerios and toilet paper.

• Daniel : She is... fun. Great. Fun and great.

  Victor : "She?"

  Daniel : She. Yes. She's a she. Jane is her name. It's a female name, uh, which she has because she's a girl. Woman.

  Ollie : Well, to be clear, uh... I'm definitely available for this dinner now.

• Ollie : [trying out the new sound system]  I keep hearing some sort of reverb.

  Victor : Reverb is not the problem.

  Ollie : It's like a flange or... I'm-I'm hearing some...

  Victor : There's no flange.

  Ollie : Do you even know what a flange is?

  Victor : Oh, maybe the problem is that our equipment, uh, happens to amplify your vocal imperfections.

  Ollie : Full disclosure. I-I haven't had an opportunity to read the manual, but I don't think this piece of equipment comes with a setting for drowning out jealousy.

• Daniel : Well, the Catholic Church has never shied away from a little pageantry.

  Ollie : Yeah. I've seen the crucifix.

• Ollie : Delusional hoop dreams and saturated fat - that's my thing. What's yours?