- Rick Sanchez: Hey, Morty, little tip: Don't clean DNA vials with your spit. Let's go. I'm driving this time.
- Groundskeeper Willie: [about a Roomba cleaning the school halls] What's that?
- Principal Skinner: We didn't want to leave you out of the digital revolution. Willie, meet your new supervisor.
- Groundskeeper Willie: You mean I have to take orders from a machine?
- Principal Skinner: Well, it can't speak, but should it ever, yes.
- Superintendent Chalmers: I think it's safe now to put on your mathlete t-shirts.
- Nelson Muntz: [Riding a taxi] Wait here.
- [Gets off and punches Database on the arm, then gets back on]
- Nelson Muntz: To the model UN and step on it. Haw-haw!
- Mr. Burns: [after a power surge] Was that us?
- Waylon Smithers: No, sir.
- Mr. Burns: [Chuckles] I love it when it's not us.
- Bart Simpson: No one told me there would be math!
- Lisa Simpson: We said there would be nothing but math. And you're our math team captain.
- Bart Simpson: I thought I wouldn't have to do anything, like an Italian cruise captain.
- Luigi Risotto: You're lucky that captain isn't here right now to answer your insult! He'd crash his ship right into your house!
- Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner, you did connect all the computers to surge protectors, right?
- Principal Skinner: Yes, power strips.
- Superintendent Chalmers: You fool! All surge protectors are power strips but not vice versa!
- Miss Hoover: The teacher's union will not stand for this.
- Principal Skinner: It'll mean less work for you.
- Miss Hoover: Really? I didn't think I could do less work.
- Rick Sanchez: Oh my God! Morty, what did you do? You killed the Simpsons, Morty!
- Morty Smith: Oh my god! No, no! I-I-I-I didn't mean to!
- Rick Sanchez: Oh, no! God, look at the baby one!
- Morty Smith: That's terrible, I killed the Simpsons!
- Rick Sanchez: h my God, Morty! You killed the entire Simpsons, Morty! They're a beloved family, Morty! They're, they're, they're, they're a national treasure, Morty, and you killed them!
- Morty Smith: I-I-I-I'm just a kid, I'm just a kid, I don't wanna go to jail!
- Rick Sanchez: Relax, Morty! Calm down, we'll take care of it.
- [scoops up remains and puts them in a vial, gets the Simpsons family picture, and opens a portal]
- Rick Sanchez: Okay, I want you to take that vial of the Simpsons goo and this picture to this address.
- [hands Morty the vial and a paper]
- Rick Sanchez: They'll make us new Simpsons, Do you understand me, Morty?
- Morty Smith: Me? W-W-What you gonna do?
- Rick Sanchez: Morty, I gotta clean this place up before someone somebody comes snooping around! You know how many characters there are in the Simpsons, Morty? There's like a billion characters! They did an episode where George Bush was their neighbor!
- Morty Smith: Right! Can't argue with that!
- [goes through the portal]
- Professor Frink: And now, someone who really loves math...
- Krusty the Clown: Math? I thought they said meth. Drug reference!
- Professor Frink: Do you even know what you're here for?
- Krusty the Clown: What's to know? They send a limo, I get in, it takes me somewhere, I turn on the news to see what I did.
- Professor Frink: Gary, Doug and Benjamin, who invented Whereditgo. That's an app that finds the other apps on your phone. Enables you to glayvin with your friends' mobile hoyvin.
- Principal Skinner: This school has spent the last 50 years mired in the 1960s. Let us spend the next 50 mired in now!