Supernatural (TV Series)
Ask Jeeves (2014)
Jared Padalecki: Sam Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Dean Winchester : [Sam hands him a coffee cup] Real men don't drink out of cups this small.
[Sniffs it]
Dean Winchester : What is that -- "cinnamon roll"?
Sam Winchester : It's, uh, "glazed donut."
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Sam Winchester : How did Bobby know an heiress?
Dean Winchester : Bobby had secrets, man. Like loving on Tori Spelling. If he only knew Dean cheated on her.
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Sam Winchester : "Grey gardens" cleared.
Dean Winchester : Okay, well, so is Dash and Amber. They're a thing, by the way.
Sam Winchester : Yeah?
Dean Winchester : Yeah.
[Shakes head]
Dean Winchester : W.A.S.P.S.
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Sam Winchester : Got to say, for a family that just lost two members, you all... seem fine.
Dash : Well, Sam, I'll let you in on a little family secret.
[Whispers]
Dash : We don't really like each other.
[Chuckles]
Dash : Then again, what family does?
Sam Winchester : Mine does. Uh, for the most part. It's just my brother and me, so...
Dash : Then you're lucky. Trust me; t's a miracle we've been under the same roof for 24 hours and haven't---
[Realizes he was about to say "murder"]
Dash : Oops.
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Beverly : Well, well, well what do we have here? What'cha doing snooping these halls? Up to no good?
[Flirty]
Beverly : Why don't we get up to no good together? You know they say women just get better with age, like a fine wine or a cheese.
Sam Winchester : [Awkwardly] I-I, um, I'm lactose intolerant.
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Dean Winchester : Any leads on the scanner or the Interweb?
Sam Winchester : Nothing. Not even a cat up a tree.
Dean Winchester : So right when we're ready to jump back into it, it, goes radio silence.
Sam Winchester : Murphy's law.
Dean Winchester : Well, Murphy's a douche.
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Sam Winchester : Wow, think we're a little under dressed? I mean the fed threads are in the trunk.
Dean Winchester : Are you kidding me, for once we don't have to wear suits. You're lucky my waistband is not elastic.
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Sam Winchester : What are you doing?
Heddy : Trying to find Beverly a man.
Beverly : I've resorted to fishing online because the live ones won't bite.
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Dean Winchester : We're dealing with two vengeful spirits. Apparently, Aunt Bunny had a bee in her bonnet, as well.
Sam Winchester : Husband-and-wife tag-team killer ghosts?
Dean Winchester : Well, got to keep the marriage alive somehow.
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Dean Winchester : "Charmed, I'm sure." What are these people?
Sam Winchester : I think they're called W.A.S.P.S.
Dean Winchester : What?
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Sam Winchester : So, the shifter's getting its jollies by impersonating dead people
Dean Winchester : Yeah. First Bunny, then Lance, now Phillip. Guess we can rule out "the Butler did it."
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Dean Winchester : "Made in Taiwan." freakin' stainless steel.
Sam Winchester : So that's why no one sizzled? They're not even real silver?
Dean Winchester : [sighs] First, cubic zirconium, and now this. No wonder the rich stay rich.
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Olivia : Allow me to introduce Sam and Dean Winchester.
Heddy : Sam and Dean Winchester of the Westchester Winchesters?
Sam Winchester : Uh, no. I don't think there's any relation. Sorry.
Heddy : No matter. You two are...
[Inhales sharply]
Heddy : ... Adorable.
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Sam Winchester : Olivia, you don't have to do this, being a monster is a choice.
Olivia : That choice was made for me a long time ago.
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Sam Winchester : [Repeated line] Clown College Colette?
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Olivia : Why do you need the silverware?
Sam Winchester : For protection.
Olivia : Butter knives?
Dean Winchester : Trust us, there's a method to our madness.