Supernatural (TV Series)
Fan Fiction (2014)
Jared Padalecki: Sam Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Sam Winchester : I don't understand.
Dean Winchester : Me neither.
Sam Winchester : I mean, shouldn't it be *Dea*stiel?
Dean Winchester : Really? That's your issue with this?
Sam Winchester : No. Of course, it's not my issue. You know... how about... Sastiel? Samstiel?
Dean Winchester : Okay. Alright. You know what? You're gonna do that thing... where you just shut the hell up. Forever.
Sam Winchester : [Chuckles, then...] Look. Man, no EMF, no hex bags. None of the props are even remotely hinky. Other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all, I got nothin'. You?
Dean Winchester : No, Miss Chandler's office was just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's probably face down in a bar somewhere. Or a ditch. Alright, so what? This, this whole... this whole musical thing, everything, it's just... is it... It's all a coincidence? There is no case?
Sam Winchester : Unless you're seein' somethin' I'm not. No, Dean, there's no case here.
Dean Winchester : [Upset, but resigned to Sam's logic] Okay.
[He walks around the car to get in while Sam gets a thoughtful look on his face]
Sam Winchester : [Turns to Dean as a thought occurs] Casdean?
Dean Winchester : Shut your face! Get in the car!
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Dean Winchester : [Deeply insulted] There is no singing in Supernatural.
Maeve : Well, this is Marie's interpretation...
Dean Winchester : Aha! Well... I mean, if there was singing, you know, and that's a big if. *If* there was singing, it would be classic rock! Not this... Andrew Floyd Webber *crap*!
Sam Winchester : [Under his breath to Dean] Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Dean Winchester : What?
Marie : [Proudly] Well, you know, we do sing a cover of Carry On Wayward Son in the second act.
Dean Winchester : [Only slightly mollified] Oh.
Sam Winchester : Really?
Dean Winchester , Marie : [to Sam in unison] It's a classic!
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Sam Winchester : I was a theater kid.
Dean Winchester : Barely. You did "Our Town", which was cool, but then you did that crappy musical.
Sam Winchester : That - "Oklahoma"? Hugh Jackman got cast off "Oklahoma".
Dean Winchester : You ran tech, Wolverine.
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Dean Winchester : I'm gonna throw up.
Sam Winchester : [Looking around, smiling, charmed with the high school atmosphere] I mean, I gotta say, it's kinda charming. The, the production value and the at-
[Turning back to Dean and the stone cold look on his face]
Sam Winchester : No? N- no.
[Clears his throat and plasters a serious, disapproving look on his own face]
Sam Winchester : I'm gonna check for EMF. You, you... look for, uh, cursed objects.
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Sam Winchester : [Unsettled after seeing two actors portraying them and showing fake FBI badges] I'm, uh, Special Agent Smith. This is my partner, Special Agent...
Dean Winchester : Smith.
Sam Winchester : Smith. No relation.
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Sam Winchester : So, why this story, huh? Why "Supernatural"?
Calliope : "Supernatural" has everything. Life, death, resurrection, redemption. The stake. But above all... Family. All set to music you can really tap your toe to.
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Sam Winchester : [Looking at actors] Where's Chuck?
Marie : Oh, I love him. I do. But, honestly, the whole "author inserting themselves into the narrative" thing, it's just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories.
Sam Winchester , Dean Winchester : Me too.
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Sam Winchester : Don't you have to wait until the vision has been realized?
Calliope : [Chuckles] Oh, Gods. If I have to sit through that second act one more time... There's robots and tentacles in space. I can't even.
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Sam Winchester : Calliope manifests creatures from the stories she's tuned into.
Marie : So... The scarecrow is still alive and we burned my prop for NOTHING?
Dean Winchester : Oh, that thing needed to burn.
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Sam Winchester : [Watching play] What is that?
Dean Winchester : It's the, uh, the B.M. scene.
Sam Winchester : [Confused] Bowel-movement scene?
Dean Winchester : No. Just... Shh.
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Marie : It's all real. Ghosts, angels... Demons.
Maeve : I want to believe.
Sam Winchester : [Exchanges look with Dean] You should believe. You both should 'cause it is all real. And so are we. I'm Sam Winchester. That's Dean.
Marie : [the girls stare, then start laughing] Okay. Now, look. I'm willing to accept that monsters are real, but those books... are works of fiction.
Maeve : And you guys are way too old to be Sam or Dean.
[Dean looks offended]
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Dean Winchester : A teacher at an all-girls school went missing in Flint, Michigan. She was headed to her car and then disappeared. Nobody's seen her since.
Sam Winchester : Dean, there's nothing here to even remotely suggest there's a case.
Dean Winchester : There is nothing there that even remotely suggests there *isn't* a case. Boom!
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Dean Winchester : We came, we saw, we kicked-...
Sam Winchester : It's not a Tulpa.
Dean Winchester : What?
Sam Winchester : It's not a Tulpa.
Dean Winchester : Say it one more time, but just a little bit more Arnold, you know, like...
[Does an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice]
Dean Winchester : It's not a Tul-pa.
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Sam Winchester : lt's not like the "Supernatural" books are tearing up the New York Times best-seller list, and I seriously doubt this play is even sold out.
Dean Winchester : Hope not.
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Maeve : Thanks for saving my friends.
Sam Winchester : Sure.
Maeve : You know, if you cut your hair a little, you'd make a pretty good Dean.