- [In a viral video, a talking doll says "Kill mommy"]
- Garrett: This is a disaster for the company. It's worse than the time Barbie said math was hard.
- Simon Roberts: Math is the least of her worries. She lives in Malibu, it's always on fire.
- Andrew Keanelly: You're looking pretty chipper. Have another dream about One Direction?
- Sydney Roberts: Oh man, I told you that in confidence. And every one of those boys is of legal age now, so it's not even wrong.
- Lauren Slotsky: Simon, can I come in? I promise I'm not sick.
- Simon Roberts: Oh please, I flatlined three times, dear. The flu is like a flea fart in a hurricane to me.
- [Zach coughs into his fist]
- Sydney Roberts: That little girl coughed right into your face yesterday, did no one teach you how to vampire cough into your arm?
- Zach Cropper: No. No, my mom always said my germs were sweet.
- Sydney Roberts: She lied.