- Cyrus Beene: [to Secret Service agent outside Olivia's door] Open the door. Open the door! That is an order!
- Tom Larsen: Respectfully, sir, I do not take orders I do not care who you take your orders from...
- Cyrus Beene: Tom! I don't care if you got your orders from Jesus Christ himself as he hung on the cross, Jesus is not me! Jesus forgives. Jesus saves. I destroy! And I will bring vengeance down upon you in a hail of fire and brimstone. You will open that door now, or I will call in every favor I have, making sure you spend the rest of your career guarding baby Teddy at the playground!
- Tom Larsen: I need a reason to open that door, sir. A credible threat.
- Cyrus Beene: He's having a heart attack. He just texted me!
- Cyrus Beene: It's not too late to save your presidency. Look at Clinton.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Clinton wasn't in love with Monica Lewinsky. I am in love with a woman who is not my wife.
- Harrison Wright: [to Olivia] At any minute, any second now, so will the rest of planet earth. So what I'm asking you is, what is your endgame? 'Cause the eye will pass and the winds will kick up, and you you are not tethered to anything. But I'm here. And I will be your anchor. And I'm the only one that can see you through this. We'll fight to the end. So snap out of it!
- Olivia Pope: And there's no other way?
- Huck: We could send Sally a Trojan horse.
- Quinn Perkins: Hmm. An e-mail infected with a worm that could bore into the White House network from the inside. We could make it record her keystrokes, tell us her passwords.
- Abby Whelan: "Baby Huck."
- Rowan Pope: This always happens. People like you get a taste of power, and they develop amnesia. They forget that I have no boundaries. I like you, Cyrus. Use the tape. Don't make yourself an obstacle. Don't test your luck.
- Abby Whelan: Coffee?
- David Rosen: No, I think I'll stay here, catch the White House briefing. Watching Cyrus Beene unraveling under pressure is my porn.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: It's gonna be all right.
- Cyrus Beene: We'll be a lame duck administration. We'll leave proud of the work we did. We'll be a joke.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Hell, we're not even supposed to be here. Need I remind you, you stole this ride? At least we got some mileage out of it.
- Cyrus Beene: True. And the backseat *did* see some action.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Yeah, that was my fault.
- [both laughing]
- Jake Ballard: What's next, sir?
- Rowan Pope: Continue the mission. Stay close to the President, even closer to Ms. Pope. As close as possible.
- Jake Ballard: Sir, I-I don't think...
- Rowan Pope: Screw this up again, and we'll be meeting at the hole instead of the monuments.
- Charlie: [eating a donut while tied up] Mmm. People think the key to a good doughnut is either the hand-rolling or the yeast. They're full of it. It's simple. These suckers start dying the second they get out of the fryer. You just gotta get to 'em when they're hot.
- [first lines]
- Cyrus Beene: [at clamoring press conference] The President considers these allegations to be a private matter between himself and the First Lady. He is grateful for the continued support and respect of privacy by the American people. Any questions? Eric?
- Reporter Eric: Is it true?
- Cyrus Beene: What it is is a private matter.
- Reporter Eric: But the First Lady made it a public matter.
- Cyrus Beene: I don't speak for the First Lady. I speak for the President.
- Olivia Pope: [arriving at her office] Everything okay?
- David Rosen: Did you hear? The President banged someone.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: [finishing his press conference] And now, any questions?
- [explosive outburst from the press]