Elementary (TV Series)

The Red Team (2013)

Lucy Liu: Dr. Joan Watson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Joan Watson : Oh, I didn't know you liked tortoises.

  Sherlock Holmes : I love them. They make an absolutely delicious soup stock.

• Dr. Joan Watson : Oh, it's that easy. You're just going to find five classified names.

  Sherlock Holmes : Why not? It's my day off.

• Dr. Joan Watson : I'm supposed to go out for a little while, but if you're still feeling obsessed, I can stay.

  Sherlock Holmes : I'm fine. Been neglecting my hobby. I'm going to visit swirltheory.com and discuss conspiracy theories.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Your hobby's conspiracy theories?

  Sherlock Holmes : No, of course not. They're pure sophistry. Large groups of people cannot keep secrets. My hobby is conspiracy *theorists*. I adore them, as one would a barmy uncle or a pet who can't stop walking into walls. Have you ever heard anyone say the CIA invented crack cocaine?

  Dr. Joan Watson : I have.

  Sherlock Holmes : I started that.

  Dr. Joan Watson : That's ridiculous.

  Sherlock Holmes : Hmm. Today I plan to get in touch with Zapruder - that's the moderator's nom de plume - and share with him the results of a secret government study which concludes that rising ocean waters will soon make a new coastline in the Appalachian foothills. Plans are afoot to move the nation's capital to Omaha, and a cadre of elite billionaires is buying up soon-to-be beachfront property.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Okay. Well, good luck with that.

• [Sherlock has redesigned his evidence wall to deduce the identity of "Moriarty"] 

  Dr. Joan Watson : [sees a picture tacked to the wall]  And how does Napoleon Bonaparte fit in?

  Sherlock Holmes : By the time of my third night without sleep, I may have been reaching.

• Dr. Joan Watson : Have you thought about maybe going and apologizing to Captain Gregson? It might go a long way.

  Sherlock Holmes : The man is a practiced interrogator; he knows an insincerity when he hears one.

  Dr. Joan Watson : There's no part of you that feels even a little bad about what you did?

  Sherlock Holmes : I don't want to discuss this.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Sometimes you have to talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable.

  Sherlock Holmes : I won't feel uncomfortable. You will.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Why?

  Sherlock Holmes : I'm smarter than everyone I meet, Watson.

  [Watson scoffs] 

  Sherlock Holmes : I know it's bad form to say that, but in my case, it's a fact. Allowances have to be made.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Allowances?

  Sherlock Holmes : It's true I've wronged Captain Gregson. It was the cost of revenge, and I incurred it willingly. The larger question is, how does my suspension benefit the city? If the role of the public servant is to keep an eye on the greater good, then why keep me from my work? My work *is* the greater good!

  [Watson rolls her eyes] 

  Sherlock Holmes : See, you're uncomfortable!

• Dr. Joan Watson : What would it take for him to come back? Is it just a matter of sitting it out, or do you want a formal apology?

  Captain Thomas Gregson : You make it sound like he took my favorite shirt without asking. Holmes planned to torture and murder somebody.

• Sherlock Holmes : What time is it?

  Dr. Joan Watson : [looks at a clock]  Ahh, it's nine thirty. Wednesday. You slept for two days straight.

  Sherlock Holmes : That's why I'm so hungry!

• Dr. Joan Watson : It's not forever.

  Dr. Candace Reed : It may not be forever, but it does sound indefinite.