The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Habitation Configuration (2012)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wil Wheaton : Sheldon, do you really think we're going to fight?

  Sheldon Cooper : My fists are not up here because I'm milking a giant, invisible cow.

• [Sheldon is excusing himself from Wil Wheaton to talk with Amy] 

  Sheldon Cooper : I'll be right back.

  [hands Wil a Wesley Crusher action figure] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Feel free to play with yourself.

• Sheldon Cooper : I need to have a talk about women.

  Penny : I always knew we would have this talk sooner or later. Are you finally getting fuzz in weird places?

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm in the horns of a relationship dilemma. And for the record, I had a full pubis of hair since I was nineteen.

  Penny : I see, and for the record...

  [makes gagging sound] 

• [last lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. Get ready for a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise 'Star Trek', and to help us I'm pleased to introduce a special guest - surprisingly it only took gas money and the promise of free food to get him here - Mr. LeVar Burton.

  LeVar Burton : Hey, Sheldon, it's a pleasure to be here. Well, we've got some interesting flags...

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Cut! Yikes! The guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

  Sheldon Cooper : [to leVar]  I don't know what she's talking about, but I'm obligated to agree with her. She's my girlfriend.

  LeVar Burton : Ahh, I hear you, brother. I still get lunch, right?

• Penny : What'll you have to drink?

  Sheldon Cooper : Usually I have some chamomile tea, but I'm pretty upset. I don't think that's going to cut it.

  Penny : How about a Long Island iced tea?

  Sheldon Cooper : Will that do the charm?

  Penny : It's charmed the pants off of me a couple of times.

• Penny : You're from Texas. You're supposed to stand up and defend the honor of your woman folk.

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny, please. I think I've evolved beyond my simple, rustic upbringing. On the other hand, that low-down polecat done wronged my woman.

  Penny : Welcome to Long Island, Tex.

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. And welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. Before we get started, I'd like to announce the winner of our Design Your Own Flag competition, but I can't. The only entry was from gamygamer seventy-five, and I know that was a jpeg of your buttocks. Now, this week we have a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise 'Star Trek', and to help me I'm pleased to introduce internet personality, uh, former star of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized in one-sixteenth scale... Set phasers to fun! for my friend, Wil Wheaton.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Your friend was rude to me and you should have taken my side. Good night, Sheldon.

  [Logs off] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Wow. Amy's mad at me and Leonard was right. What a weird day.

• Wil Wheaton : Are you drunk?

  Sheldon Cooper : Just tea. Best tea I've ever had.

• Sheldon Cooper : [drunkenly confronting Wil]  As a matter of idle curiosity, which of your shrubberies do you feel would benefit from a thorough vomiting?

  [trying to hold back] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Never mind, I'll choose.

  [leans over the railing and vomits] 

• Wil Wheaton : Excuse me, but I've been acting since I was a child. I think I can handle a little web show.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's true. In 1982 he played the voice of Martin the mouse in The Secret of NIMH. You moved me.

• Sheldon Cooper : The trouble isn't with me, Penny, it's with your gender. Someday scientists will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twaddle.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : He was overacting on purpose.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really? He reminded me of a young William Shatner.