- Vince: Listen, it was a long time ago and I got swept up in the whole May-December romance. Who knew she'd turn into such a vindictive ball breaker?
- Mike Biggs: What happened the last time you tried to get her to sign the papers?
- Vince: She kicked me in the nuts. What part of ball breaker don't you understand?
- Francine: [rings his ex wife's doorbell] Who the hell is it?
- Vince: Look through the peephole, you bug eyed bitch!
- Francine: [opens door and it's an elderly woman] Brought your goons, huh Muranto?
- Mike Biggs: How old is she?
- Vince: I told you, it was May-December. I'm the May.
- Officer Carl McMillan: Yeah, but she's not December, she's the following July!
- Mike Biggs: Look, I'm sorry things went wrong between you two, but maybe you should sign the papers so you can get on with the rest of your life.
- Vince: What's left of it.
- Mike Biggs: Vince!
- [to Francine]
- Mike Biggs: What do you say?
- Francine: Same thing I've been saying for the last fifteen years. I'm not signing anything 'til he pays me the ten grand he owes me.
- Mike Biggs: You owe her ten grand?
- Vince: I borrowed two and she's been doubling the vig annually for fifteen years, which is a nice way to treat your husband.
- Francine: You took my youth!
- Vince: I never saw your youth! The man who took your youth was wearing a powdered wig!
- Molly Flynn: The night before my wedding I thought I got to be the crazy one. I didn't even make the top ten today.