Modern Family (TV Series)
Schooled (2012)
Richard Jenik: Jorie's Dad
Photos
Quotes
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Phil Dunphy : [Sneaks up behind 'Claire'] I'd like admission to your student body.
[Grabs her butt]
Jorie : Ahh!
Phil Dunphy : Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry. I thought you were my wife.
Jorie's Dad : What's going on?
Jorie : He grabbed me and said...
Phil Dunphy : I thought she was my wife. My wife works out a lot.
Haley Dunphy : Dad?
Jorie's Dad : How'd he grab you?
Jorie : He squeezed my butt.
Jorie's Dad : He what?
Claire Dunphy : Phil!
Phil Dunphy : I thought it was you! Believe me, sir, I'm a respected realtor. This is an innocent mistake. Honey, turn around and show him your-your butt. It's-it's uncanny.
Haley Dunphy : [Urging him to stop] Dad! I am very normal. Please do not judge me based on them.
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Jorie : Are those your My Little Pony sheets?
Haley Dunphy : What? No!
Claire Dunphy : Oh. I ordered them online. They must have sent the wrong ones. I'm very sorry.
Phil Dunphy : That's what's was in the box.
[Accidently knocks the box over, spills out the condoms Claire packed]
Phil Dunphy : Okay, uh, for the record, I am a respected realtor. Those are not my condoms.
[Points at Claire]
Phil Dunphy : She bought 'em.
Haley Dunphy : Oh, my God.
Phil Dunphy : Apparently, that's what people do these days - but condoms for their kids. When I went to college, my parents bought me a bicycle helmet. That was their idea of safety. Certainly didn't need condoms.
Claire Dunphy : Mm. Not if you were wearing a bike helmet around campus, you didn't.
[laughs]
Claire Dunphy : Am I right?
Haley Dunphy : Ugh!
[Sits with her head in her hands]
Jorie's Dad : ... why don't we let you guys finish, and we'll come back later?
Claire Dunphy , Phil Dunphy : Okay.
Phil Dunphy : Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Uh-huh. Yeah. That sounds good. See you on parents weekend!
Claire Dunphy : They seem nice!