- Police Officer: You're a big guy, okay? Don't do anything that's gonna make us nervous.
- Lonny Church: Nothing I can do about being big and black at the same time.
- Maggie Jordan: Now, can we state clearly, unambiguously, and for the record, that neither of us likes the other in any romantic context?
- Jim Harper: I so state.
- Maggie Jordan: As do I!
- Lisa Lambert: [laughs uproariously and looks at both Jim and Maggie] You guys can't begin to imagine how unconvincing that was.
- Don Keefer: [to fellow passengers on the plane] She set the Treasury Secretary on fire.
- Sloan Sabbith: [to Peter] It's true.
- Peter: Why?
- Sloan Sabbith: Just to show the other Cabinet Secretaries that I could.
- Captain Louis Embry: Is there a problem, sir?
- Don Keefer: Yeah, I was asking how paranoid you have to... you have to be...
- [sees the Captain belongs to United Airlines]
- Don Keefer: Captain, my name is Don Keefer. That's Elliot Hirsch and that's Sloan Sabbith. We work for Atlantis Cable News. And we wanted you and your first officer and Flight Attendant Crazy Lady to be the first ones on this plane to know that our armed forces killed Osama bin Laden for you tonight.
- Captain Louis Embry: You're serious?
- Don Keefer: Yes, sir.
- Don Keefer: [to Elliot] . What is this compulsion you have to look on the bright side? I can never count on you to be Jewish.
- Don Keefer: You have to let us off this plane.
- Flight Attendant: I'm not letting you unbuckle your seatbelt, you think I'm letting you off the plane?
- Don Keefer: If you knew what we know -
- [turns to the other passengers]
- Don Keefer: which is nothing- you'd be behind us and they'd be behind us, and I think later on tonight, you're gonna be saying, 'I wish I had been more cooperative with that passenger.'
- Flight Attendant: I think later on tonight you're gonna be saying, 'These handcuffs hurt my wrists.'
- Neal Sampat: A study in the "Astrophysical Journal" estimates that there are ten trillion planetary systems in the known universe.
- Jim Harper: Which one are you from?
- Charlie Skinner: I need to tell you that you're going to remember this night for the rest of your lives. It's going to be a long night and we need you to work fast and we need you to work well. But once in a while, take three seconds- you can't spare more than that- take three seconds to notice where you are and what you're doing. Will's gonna go on the air in a few minutes so that we can report that at the order of the President of the United States, US Special Forces have shot and killed Osama bin Laden.
- Charlie Skinner: The president's gonna tell us what's going on at 10:30. He's gonna tell us. What's the virtue of breaking it five minutes early?
- MacKenzie McHale: America thinks bin Laden's alive. If I can make him dead one minute sooner, my entire life in journalism up until this point will have been worth it.
- [Will got approval to break the story 20 minutes ago]
- Charlie Skinner: When did you turn into Ted Baxter?
- [last lines]
- Will McAvoy: Good evening. From New York City, I'm Will McAvoy. ACN is now able to report and confirm that for the first time in almost three decades, the world has no reason to fear Osama bin Laden. In just a moment, in a live address to the nation, the president will announce that in a coordinated operation under the cover of darkness, US Special Forces tonight killed the leader of al-Qaeda and the mastermind behind the deadly attack of September 11th, 2001. It's been nine years, seven months, and 20 days since America's most wanted criminal took from us 2,977 American sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, friends and colleagues. We were transformed that morning into a different nation, more fearful and so, of course, more hostile. And while nothing, not even this victory our country has waited for for such a long time, can bring back the souls lost on that terrible morning in New York City, in Virginia, in a field in Pennsylvania, and all across America and the world, let tonight serve as a welcome reminder that throughout our history, America's darkest days have always been followed by its finest hours. Here now, from the East Room of the White House, the President of the United States.