Modern Family (TV Series)

Punkin Chunkin (2011)

Ty Burrell: Phil Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Claire Dunphy : I love you, Phil, but you...

  Phil Dunphy : Stop. I love your 'I love you'; I'm getting awful tired of your 'but'.

  [pause] 

  Phil Dunphy : I heard it.

• Luke Dunphy : So Kenneth became a gajillionaire by asking himself 'What would Phil do'?

  Phil Dunphy : He sure did!

  [Rearranges centerpiece] 

  Phil Dunphy : Where did that come from? Right?

  Luke Dunphy : But you're *you*. Why aren't *we* gajillionaires? Why don't *you* do what Phil would do?

  Phil Dunphy : Um...

  Claire Dunphy : [Enters]  Phil, why didn't you just put the extras leaves in the table?

  Phil Dunphy : Trying to have some fun, be creative!

  Claire Dunphy : One long table, honey. If it was good enough for the Last Supper, it's good enough for us.

• Phil Dunphy : Hey friend. You look like you had a rough day at the office.

  Luke Dunphy : The stress from my job at the Robot Assassin Factory is too much to take. Aw, shoot me an aspirin, pal.

  Phil Dunphy : Maybe someday. But until then, try this on for size. The real HeadScratcher features 32 patent pending 'nogginizers' that gently massage your scalp in a soothing purr of motorized delight.

  Luke Dunphy : Ahhhh. It feels great, and it looks good too. It's a real life saver.

  Phil Dunphy : You mean, a real Head Scratcher?

  Phil Dunphy , Luke Dunphy : Hahahahahahhaha.

  Phil Dunphy : TM.

• Claire Dunphy : [as everyone tries to leave for the football field]  No, no, no! I did not just cook for eight hours so you people could run off to prove some asinine point that's only going to make half of us feel bad! Come on! Show a little respect.

  Jay Pritchett : [Everyone quietly sits at the table]  Turkey smells great, sweetheart.

  Phil Dunphy : Is that turkey? Because something smells like chicken.

  Claire Dunphy : [Stands back up]  Okay, let's settle this.

  [Everyone runs to the cars]