The Angry Birds Movie (2016)

Jason Sudeikis: Red

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Red : This is why we went for pedicures, isn't it?

  Chuck : No, we got pedicures because we're worth it.

  Bomb : I got gels.

• Mighty Eagle : MIGHTY EAGLE!

  [Mighty Eagle smashes into the Piggies castle, but clumsily lands and smashes his head on the golden pot] 

  Red : [Runs over to Mighty Eagle]  Mi... Mighty Eagle... Mighty Eagle, wake up

  [Slaps Mighty Eagle's eye with his tongue] 

  Red : , come on... augh, you've got bad breath...

  Mighty Eagle : I can sleep late, Ma. It's not a school day!

• Early Bird : [Working at Early Bird Worms]  Fresh worms caught today.

  Early Bird : [to the anger Red]  Hey, Red how are ya?

  Red : [cheerfully]  Oh, I'm horrible!

• Red : Something about those pigs isn't kosher.

• [from trailer] 

  Matilda : We're gonna be working managing our anger through movement.

  Chuck : Eagle, heron, peacock, warrior, mountain, tree, rabbit, fish, locust, king pigeon, and of course, downward duck.

  Red : Yuck!

• Red : Well, how about that? My teacher can shoot fire balls out of her butt!

• Judge Peckinpah : Mr Red! Given the severity of the crimes, I have no choice but to impose the maximum penalty allowed by the law: Anger management class.

  Red : Ugh. Pluck my life.

• [from trailer] 

  Red : If anyone knows what these pigs are up to, it's Mighty Eagle.

  Chuck : [gasps]  It's Mighty Eagle's Lake of Wisdom!

  [Chuck and Bomb play in the lake] 

  Red : Get out of there!

  [Chuck spits the water into Bomb's mouth] 

  Red : Don't spit in his mouth!

  [Bomb spits the water back into Chuck's mouth] 

  Red : No, don't spit it back! Uh, don't swallow it.

  [Chuck swallows the water] 

  Red : Auh!

  [Mighty Eagle comes out of his cave as Red, Chuck and Bomb hide behind a rock and Mighty Eagle does a pose] 

  Red : Oh, wow, it's him.

  [as Mighty Eagle finishes posing, he starts to pee in the lake] 

  Mighty Eagle : Aaahhhhh...

  [Bomb and Chuck look strangely at the lake] 

  Red : Oh, man.

  [Bomb pretends to throw up] 

  Chuck : No, no, no. Ack!

  Bomb : Wahahahaha!

  [Chuck scrubs the water off his mouth with a rock, then Mighty Eagle finishes peeing as he feels relaxed] 

  Red : Horrible turn of events, horrible.

• [from trailer] 

  Chuck : I'm gonna get ready.

  [Terence slingshots him to the castle] 

  Chuck : I wasn't ready!

  [He uses is speed ability to get into the castle, then he flies into a kitchen, a cactus room, and a room where pigs are having sword duels, then he hits a brick as it falls down] 

  Red : Chuck, is that you?

  Chuck : This is the house of horrors!

  Mime : Oh, my God!

• Red : That house took my five years to build!

  Chuck : Wow. It's such a shame when you create something and everyone else destroys it.

• Red : Well this is dynamite.

• Red : Mighty Eagle fly us down there now!

  Mighty Eagle : No.

  Red : I'm sorry what?

  Mighty Eagle : I don't do that anymore. I'm retired. Mostly just tired.

• [from trailer] 

  Bobby's Mom : [after Red attacks the Anger Management sign]  Don't look, Bobby! The anger might be contagious!

  Bobby : [waves "hi" to Red] 

  Red : He started it.

• [from trailer] 

  Red : We're gonna get those eggs back! Come on, we're birds! We're descendants from dinosaurs! We're not supposed to be nice!

  [Petunia roars like a t-rex] 

  Judge Peckinpah : Holy moly!

  Red : Yeah, point made.

• Red : [Red is sleeping in his bed, and suddenly has a flower pot fall on him]  Ow!

  [It turns out a little kid is kicking a football against his house. He falsely smiles at the kid, then kicks him up in the sky] 

• [from trailer] 

  [Hal gets slingshot to the castle, but he comes back due to his boomerang ability] 

  Red : Hey, he's coming back!

  [as Hal comes back he lands his beak into a tree] 

  Bubbles : Uh, did we win?

  Red : Can we get an ice pack for Hal?

  Chuck : Medic!

• Judge Peckinpah : Mr. Red! What do we do now?

  Red : Wait... You're asking me?

  Judge Peckinpah : You tried to tell us but we didn't listen. I didn't listen.

• [from trailer] 

  Red : Am I a passionate bird? Yes, but what does it matter that we're not the same?

• [from trailer] 

  Red : That's me, Red. Ever since I was a kid, I never really fit in. No one understands me.

• Red : Would you stop making mighty eagle noises?

  Chuck : Someone has anger issues.

• Matilda : And this is Terence.

  Red : More like terrifying.

• Bomb : Okay, well... Sometimes when I get upset, I have been known to blow up.

  Red : So you get mad?

  Bomb : No, I literally blow up. I explode like a bomb, hence the name.

• Leonard : [while dancing]  Oh, watch out! Shakin' my bacon!

  Red : They don't have feathers? You know, they're just walking around naked, just presenting themselves, I'm looking at all their business here.

  Chuck : That part about them I really admire.

• Leonard : You're wrecking my house! What's wrong with you?

  Red : You wrecked my house!

  Leonard : Your house was ugly!

  Red : Well now we're even.

• Red : Hey you know what? I used to believe in you. When I was a kid I believed nothing really bad could ever happen because you were here. And now i see the fate of the world hangs on idiots like me. And that sir is sort of terrifying.

  Mighty Eagle : It's time for you to go.

  Red : You know it's really upsetting to me that you're the only bird who can fly and you're to afraid to do it.

• Red : Beak! Wing! Tail! Ribs! Giblets!

• Leonard : [Sees Red's painting of himself being struck by thunder]  Well, that's a very good painting. Very good.

  Red : Oh, yeah. Uh... The assignment was "Paint Your Pain", so I painted your pain. It's actually the first in a series.

  Red : [Shows his painting of Leonard and his pigs being caught by a octopus]  Here you go.

  Leonard : Uh-huh.

  Red : [Shows his painting of him kicking Leonard in a barrel into a waterfall]  This one is nice.

  Leonard : Oh.

  Red : [Shows his painting of him roasting Leonard in a pit with a apple in his mouth]  I call this one "Catharsis".

  Leonard : [He is unimpressed] 

  Red : [Shows his painting of him slingshots Leonard outta Bird Island]  And... Oh, I call this one "Bye-Bye".

  Leonard : Huh. Wonderful likeness.

  Leonard : [to Judge Peckinpah]  I thought you said you stored your nuts for winter.

  Leonard : [Stella, Peckinpah, Earl, Photog and Earl laughs]  Burn.

• Matilda : Hey, guys, do you remember everything you learned in my class?

  Red : Yep.

  Chuck : Nope.

  Bomb : What class?

  Matilda : Well, forget all of it for now. Now it's time to let loose.

  Red : Oh, good. Because I never learned anything, anyway.

  Chuck : Oh, me, neither. I actually just came to socialize.

  Bomb : I came for the snacks. You don't happen to have any now, do you?

• Red : [learning the pigs are stealing the birds' eggs]  Chuck, go shut that party down now!

  Chuck : Me? But I only know how to get parties started!

• Chuck : [Red is suspicious about the pigs' offer of friendship]  You know you want to search their boat.

  Red : What? No, I don't.

  [pause] 

  Red : Yeah, you're right, I do.

  Chuck : [speeding away and returning with a slice of cake]  Bomb's on his way.

• [from trailer] 

  Leonard : [seeing one of the eggs]  Is that what I think it is?

  Red : Excuse me! Those are fragile, alright? Not yours.

  Judge Peckinpah : You are makin' our guest feel unwelcome!

  Red : And you're not asking basic questions!

  [a pig slaps his butt] 

  Chuck : Well, this just got awkward.

• [from trailer] 

  Red : Doesn't anyone see what's going on here? The whole world is in danger! And it's up to us to stop 'em!

• [from trailer] 

  Judge Peckinpah : You tried to tell us, but we didn't listen. What do we do now?

  Red : That is where they went, and so that is where we're going!

  [the birds cheer] 

  Chuck : It's Chuck time!

  [he runs into a pipe; Red groans] 

• [from trailer] 

  Red : Time to get angry! Fire!

  [Matilda gets slingshot] 

  Leonard : That guy again.

  Matilda : Take that, porkers!

  [She shot a fireball to kill the pigs] 

  Red : Well, how about that? She can shoot fireballs out of her butt.

• [when one of the dynamite was about to blow up and the giant pot was about to fall down on the rock Red is running to get on, with Leonard on his tail] 

  Leonard : You have annoyed me for the last time!

  Red : Yep!

  [the giant pot falls on Red, shielding him as Leonard gasps as the supply of Piggy Island explosives blows up] 

• Stella : Hi Red! Good to see you!

  Red : I wish I could say the same.

• Red : [as they are being hugged by Mighty Eagle]  Anyone else feel like this is crossing a line?

  Chuck : Yes.

  Bomb : No.

• Red : There you are!

  Leonard : Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!

• Red : You can't eat eggs!

  Leonard : What are you gonna do? I'm a foodie!

• Red : If anyone knows what these pigs are up to it's Mighty Eagle.

• Judge Peckinpah : Mr. Red, we are a happy happy bird community. Under the protection of Mighty Eagle, we work, we laugh, we love, and we live our lives free of conflict and strife sir.

  Red : We love the sound of our own voice too evidently.

  Judge Peckinpah : Perhaps you've never heard the joke, Why don't birds fly? I'm gonna tell you why. Because where else would we ever want to go?

  Red : Wow. Not a good joke.

  Judge Peckinpah : So now what am i to make of the likes of you. There seems to be a recurring issue here. Anger.

  Red : I don't think i have an anger issue. I think you got an anger issue.

  Judge Peckinpah : Anger is a weed growing in our garden. And what do you do when you find a weed?

  Red : I don't know but i bet you're gonna tell me.

  Judge Peckinpah : You pluck it out!

  Mime : Oh my God!

• Stella : Hi, Red. It's good to see you!

  Red : I wish I could say the same.

• Stella : Red, we need a leader.

  Red : Wait a minute. I'm not a leader!

• Eva : Your Honor, our family has always practiced natural child-hatch; the risks of having a scrambled infant are too great. There was going to be music, the nest was going to be full with beautiful, fresh-cut flowers, and the first two faces he was going to see were the loving faces of his mother and his father.

  [Edward sheds a tear falls onto their hatchling] 

  Eva : We can never get that moment back.

  Red : Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw. I mean, what are we talking about here? He probably doesn't even remember me!

  [Red walks over to the family, then the hatchling excitedly exclaims] 

  Hatchling : Daddy!

• Red : Um excuse me boring hippie lady? Looks like the explodey guy's gonna puke.

  Matilda : And have you done this before?

  Red : Uh yes i have but not usually not for free.

• Hatchling : Daddy!

  Red : Stop it! No i'm not your daddy!

• Hug Trader : Hmmm?

  Red : Nope!

  Hug Trader : Hmmm.

• Hug Trader : Hmmm?

  Red : Nuh uh! No means no!

  Hug Trader : Hmmm.

• Red : [after watching The Mighty Eagle pee in "The Lake of Wisdom"]  Not so much The Lake of Wisdom. It's more like The Lake of Whiz.

• Red : Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot. You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I...

  Red : [whistles]  split, okay? So, on the scale of one to three stars, what would you say about my performance? And don't forget, the squirrel was...

  Red : [steps on a squirrel; Distorted scream]  free... Sorry about this!

  Edward the Birthday Dad : [Distorts]  No!

  Red : [Distorts]  My bad.

  Red : [Grunts as he stops]  Huh!

  Edward the Birthday Dad , Eva the Birthday Mom , Timothy the Birthday Boy : [They hold Red from above their egg] 

  Timothy the Birthday Boy : [He realizes the crumb of the birthday cake on the floor and eats it]  Mmm!

  Edward the Birthday Dad , Eva the Birthday Mom : [They gasped as Red accidentally hatched their egg] 

  Red : [Muffled]  Congratulations!

  Edward the Birthday Dad : Huh?

  Eva the Birthday Mom : Oh!

  Red : [gives a thumb up]  It's a boy!

• Matilda : [Humming as her painting class, with Red, Chuck, Bomb and Terrence, begins] 

  Matilda : All right, class. Thought for the day: Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.

  Red : Here's my thought of the day: When are we done?

  Matilda : [sighs]  Ugh! Red, what the caterpillar calls the end, the world calls a butterfly.

  Red : Can I say I never understand a single thing you're talking about?

  Matilda : [mocking Red]  "Can I just say...?"

  Matilda : [speaks gibberish] 

• [first lines] 

  [Red is running through the forest frantically with an egg] 

  Red : Okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Come on, Let's go. Let's go, buddy. Come on, come on, we gotta move, we gotta move.

• [from trailer] 

  Red : [He runs to Timothy's house for a birthday party, dressed in a crazy clown outfit]  Ta-da!

  Timothy the Birthday Boy : [screams] 

  Red : No, no, no, no, no!

  [sings] 

  Red : Happy hatch day to you. Happy hatch day, dear

  [he looks at the piece of paper with the kid's name on it] 

  Red : Timothy wheat allergy, doesn't like clowns.

  [to himself] 

  Red : Oh, boy.

  Timothy the Birthday Boy : [sniffles] 

  Red : [continues to finish the song]  Happy hatch day to you!

  Timothy the Birthday Boy : [screams] 

• [from trailer] 

  Red : Nice chatting with you.

• [from trailer] 

  Judge Peckinpah : There seem to be a recurring issue here! Anger.

  Red : don't think I have an anger issue, I think you got an anger issue. Are you aware that that robe that you're wearing isn't fooling anybody?

  [he suddenly takes the robe off of to reveal Judge Peckinpah standing on top of Cyrus to appear tall] 

  Red : Voila!

  [there's an audible gasp from the crowd watching] 

  Cyrus : Achoo!

  [Judge Peckinpah falls down] 

  Mime : Oh, my God!

• [from trailer] 

  Red : These pigs mysterious and weird, am I right? I don't trust them! I think they're up to something!

  Judge Peckinpah : Your opinion is not needed!

  [Red gets slingshot by the pigs] 

  Red : Beak, wing, giblets!

  Leonard : That went well, if you're me.