- The Rock: After seven long years...
- [the audience cheers]
- The Rock: Finally...
- [the audience cheers louder]
- The Rock: Finally...
- [the audience cheers louder still]
- The Rock: Finally... The Rock has come back to Anaheim! Which means finally, The Rock has come back to Monday Night Raw!
- [the audience cheers again]
- The Rock: Which means finally, The Rock has come back... home.
- [the audience cheers again, and break into a "Rocky" chant]
- The Rock: Now, before The Rock gets into that... before we electrify, before we turn this out tonight... for those of you who don't know, The Rock has many nicknames. The Great One, The Most Electrifying Man in All of Entertainment, The People's Champion. But I want to tell you something that's important to me right now. I need to take this moment, and I need to tell you something as Dwayne. It's been a long time since I've been back. Seven years, to be exact. But I want to take this moment, in the middle of this ring, to tell you why I'm back. It's not because of the money, it's not to promote a movie. I am back in the middle of this ring because of you.
- [the audience cheers]
- The Rock: When I left, when I left the WWE seven years ago, I dreamed big, and you guys dreamed big with me. You helped me accomplish my goals. I accomplished my dreams because you never left my side.
- [the audience cheers again]
- The Rock: And I want to take this moment to tell you all here, you're live here, millions watching around the world. I want to tell you thank you, I love you, and it is because of you that I am back in this ring, and it is because of you, and I give you my word, I am never, ever going away.
- [the audience cheers, and begins another "Rocky" chant]
- The Rock: Simply put, ladies and gentlemen, The Rock is back!
- [another audience pop]
- The Rock: Now, The Rock is back because I wanted to do something unprecedented. Something no man had ever done before. I wanted to host WrestleMania. So it happened. The Rock called Vince McMahon and Vince McMahon said "Rock, I know why you're calling. I know you know I need a host for WrestleMania. Rock, there's only one man electrifying enough to host WrestleMania. Rock, there's only one man that can captivate the world. Rock, that man can only be Justin Bieber."
- [laughter and jeers]
- The Rock: But I told Vince, I said "No, no, no, no. Hey, no. The Rock knows Justin, he's cool. Dig-dig the kid. Cool kid. But make no mistake about it, Vince, there is only one man capable enough to host WrestleMania. That man is the jabroni-beating, la-la-la-la pie eating, trailblazing, eyebrow raising step off the break, put your foot on the gas, always ready to whoop some ass, People's Champ, The Rock!"
- [audience cheers]
- The Rock: "The Rock is going to WrestleMania. The Rock will host WrestleMania, and at the drop of a dime, The Rock will layeth the smack down at WrestleMania." But... to who? That's the question. Could it be... the WWE Champion, The Miz?
- [audience pops]
- The Rock: He's the one that goes around saying "I'm the Miz, and I'm awesome. I'm awesome, I'm awesome." I hear that all the time. "I'm awesome." Well, The Rock ain't no scientist but he pretty much knows that there's one formula that's a fact. If you gotta run around shooting your mouth off telling everybody how awesome you are, it means you absolutely, undoubtedly, unquestionably, one hundred percent completely *suck*!
- The Rock: But there's one more man who The Rock wants to see. There's one more man who The Rock is gonna see. And that man
- [the lights in the arena blink off and on twice; Michael Cole smugly stands up from the commentator table]
- Michael Cole: [to the audience] Can I have your attention, please?
- [the audience jeers]
- Michael Cole: I have just received an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager.
- The Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Michael Cole, if you take one more step towards that computer, The Rock will get out of here and slap the taste so far out of your mouth you'll never get it back!
- [the audience pops]
- The Rock: [Cole mouths something] Shut up! Michael Cole, you actually think that The Rock is just gonna let you walk over to that computer and interrupt him when he is *live* on Raw? Is that what you think? Do you actually think that any of us give a damn what your General Manager has to say?
- [the audience pops and begins a "Rocky" chant]
- The Rock: Michael Cole, is that what you think?
- Michael Cole: I'll tell you what I think.
- The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!
- [the audience pops again]
- The Rock: Now what you do, Michael Cole, is you sit your ass down at that announcer booth, take off your headset, and you don't say a word. And I quote, you know your damn role and shut your damn mouth!
- [the audience pops again]
- The Rock: Because if you don't, The Rock will have some pretty cool Facebook pictures to post on his Facebook tonight. Does anyone here want to contribute to The Rock's Facebook tonight?
- [the audience pops]
- The Rock: Really simple. Facebook.com/Dwayne Johnson, if Michael Cole doesn't do as The Rock says, you're gonna get a beautiful picture of The Rock stepping out of this ring... going over to that computer - some of you may know where I'm going with this - the picture you're gonna get is The Rock shining it up real nice, turning that sumbitch sideways and sticking it straight up Michael Cole's candy ass! Now sit down, you look like a drunk Hobbit. Sit your ass down.
- [Cole dejectedly sits down]
- The Rock: There is one man who The Rock is gonna see. There is one man who The Rock has to see face to face. A guy who I met, a guy who I thought was a cool guy. Wished him well, happy for his success. When The Rock leaves, he comes in and out of the blue, eventually, he starts talking trash about The Rock. I don't know why, and I don't care. But I'm back now. You might have heard of him, his name is John Cena.
- [the audience pops again]
- The Rock: So let me get this straight. The WWE has gone from the powerful "Austin 3:16" to the dominant and iconic "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?", all the way to...
- [mocking Cena's hand wave]
- The Rock: "You can't see me. You can't see me. You can't see me." What, are you playing peek-a-boo? "You can't see me, I can see you, you can't see me." Oh, believe me, we *all* can see you. We all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass. How in the hell do you think we can miss? You come out here with your bright-ass purple shirt, and before that, your bright green shirt, before that your bright orange shirt, you run around here looking like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles!
- [the audience pops loudly]
- The Rock: John Cena, The Rock will see you at WrestleMania. Just like The Rock will see The Miz at WrestleMania, just like he will see everyone at WrestleMania. And just as sure as The Rock, just as sure as The Rock turns WrestleMania into the most epic WrestleMania of all time, and just as sure as anything can, and will, happen at WrestleMania, and just as sure as every day John Cena walks out here looking like he just got shot out of Barney the dinosaur's anus, is just... is just as sure as The Rock guaran-damn-tees three things at this WrestleMania. The Rock guaran-damn-tees to show the world that he is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment! The Rock guaran-damn-tees at the drop of a dime, just like that, to layeth the smacketh down on all their candy asses! And the last thing, and most important, The Rock... and the millions...
- [the audience chants out "and millions"]
- The Rock: No, no, no, no. That's not good enough. No, no, no. The Rock, and the millions...
- [the audience chants out "and millions" again, louder]
- The Rock: No, no, no, no. That's still not good enough. The Rock is the People's Champ, you are the backbone of The Rock. When we speak, our voices are heard, we all say "I Bring It." Anaheim, the world is watching. Anaheim, the world is listening. One more time. When The Rock, and the millions...
- [the audience chants "and millions" again, even louder]
- The Rock: ...of The Rock's fans go to WrestleMania, and electrify WrestleMania and the world like no one else can, IF YA SMELLLLLL... what The Rock...
- [the audience chants "Is cooking"]
- The Rock: ...is cooking.