The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Day Dreamin' Davey (2011)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why is he so excited about a ruler? Does he want to measure his turds? Then the teacher says, "What are you doing? You're going to see the principal for this!" Um... for what? For measuring his turds in class?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh no! It's made by Hal! Don't trust anything with the name, Hal! Actually, it's made by the same company that made Kirby and developed Super Smash Bros. So maybe it'll be good.

  [the game says "awesome" in a cheesy voice] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh no! I just jinxed the whole thing!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : So he's gotta get the pencil back? Man, that's some epic storyline right there!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why does he care so much about a fucking pencil? Is he gonna take it home after school and shove it up his ass or something?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : The game tricked me into thinking a circular object was something I needed. Come on! Why not have a sign that says, "Not the Shield"?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I guess it's a shield. It looks more like a bullseye or Daisy Duck's nipple or something.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : This is the guy you're supposed to touch. If you kill him, the shield dies with him. Makes a lot of sense.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : What is he on medication or something? Why can't he stay awake?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : [after taking out the robber with the dynamite]  Well, that worked, but it's a little excessive, like blowing up a bank with an atom bomb.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : What's this? A hooker? She asks if I need some help? Really! There is a Nintendo game where a hooker asks to sell herself to a kid! Now this whole thing is worth it!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : What? I'm at the beginning of the stage? That's not what I chose, you lying sack of shit!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Then you finish her and pick up her head. You know what would be really funny here? If Davey woke up and had the Teacher's decapitated head in his hands! Yeah!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Now Davey's actually bringing back objects from his dreams? Does that make any sense? You know what would be cool? If Freddy Kreuger came out and clawed his fucking face off!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh no! It's time to play another shitty game for the 98th time!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : So he tells the teacher that he was lost in a forest, like the fucking teacher's gonna believe him.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : So the teacher says it's time for art class, and she tells you to draw. Draw! Draw like it's a chore! What? He goes to sleep again? He falls asleep again? That's the one time in school I wouldn't fall asleep! I mean, during my days in class, I would be drawing on the pages of my math book and shit. That's the whole point! You draw when you're bored of school! He should have fallen asleep during math class or something boring! Did the game programmers not really know the difference between something the kids like and something they don't like?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh, sorry. I was just daydreaming about playing a better fucking game!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why would a kid be buying guns and going after a criminal? Well, it's his fantasy, whatever. It's not that common in games nowadays. Imagine playing Call of Duty where you're a 7-year-old.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Don't you love games with totally spiratic difficulty?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Classic video game logic! If you didn't actually see the spear hit, then it didn't happen!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : There's vultures shitting bloddy explosive diarhea. Oh, gross!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I had to take a leap of faith earlier, but now the Holy Grail? If only there was a big fight on top of an army tank.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : You can't walk behind the store? That makes no sense.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh, now I'm in Hell. Literally! I'm in Hell!