The League (TV Series)

The Expert Witness (2010)

Nick Kroll: Ruxin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ruxin : Could you state your name for the court, please?

  Andre : My name is... my name is Slim Shady...

  Ruxin : No.

  Andre : I'm just joking. I mean...

  Ruxin : Please just state your name for the jury, please.

  Andre : Andre, Andre Nowzick.

  Ruxin : Dr. Andre Nowzick?

  Andre : Okay.

  Ruxin : And what is your profession?

  Andre : [addresses jury with double guns]  I am a expert witness.

  Ruxin : That's not your profession.

  Andre : I am a...

  Ruxin : Without the guns.

  Andre : I am a plastic surgeon.

  Ruxin : Put your hands away. Don't holster them.

• Kevin : Andre, you shave shaft.

  Andre : Yes, I've shaved shaft in a medical environment.

  Ruxin : But you are technically a shaft shaver.

  Andre : Technically, yes.

• Andre : When I'm on the witness stand, what says "expert witness" more: this or this? I mean, this is a little bit more "man of the people".

  Kevin : Who are the people that you are supposedly a man of with that outfit?

  Ruxin : My guess is a country entirely populated by fans of Aerosmith.