- Harry Vanderspeigle: Is this how humans feel when they have a child--angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing? If she were a pet bird, I would leave the cage door open, and the ceiling fan on.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: They are easy when they are babies. They cannot run away or almost kill you in a car accident.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: I can be a good father. I've seen a lot of television.
- Liza Vanderspiegle: Ugh! What happened to the wifi? And it smells like dead people up here!
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Then you should take a shower... my darling daughter.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Well, every baby grows into Liza.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Then why do you feed them?
- Asta Twelvetrees: 'Cause if you don't, they will die.
- Asta Twelvetrees: I guess I'm so used to being sad with him, something about it seems normal.
- D'Arcy Bloom: I don't think that's supposed to feel normal.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [voiceover] This is weird. She looks like me... if I fell face first into a pile of metal.
- Liza Vanderspiegle: I was just borrowing that bike to get to the cabin. I'm not a thief. Not really. I mean, I do steal a lot of shit.
- Nurse Ellen Cho: Listen, as a medical professional, I suggest you drink a little less. But, as a single bitch living in this dead-ass town, I suggest you invite me out next time.
- [Harry and Asta are at the sheriff's office, discussing real Harry's daughter, who the sheriff just caught stealing a bicycle]
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Liza... is her name. I'm very fertile. This is my sweet little girl.
- [looks over at Liza, who is seated in the next room]
- Liza Vanderspiegle: [flips Harry off]
- [Liza notices how weird her father, Harry, is behaving]
- Liza Vanderspiegle: Why are you acting *so* weird? Wait, are you high?
- Asta Twelvetrees: [slowly] Yes... yes he is. Ugh!
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [defensively] It's legal in Colorado! Do not bum my stone, man
- Asta Twelvetrees: Does that thing have to keep popping into my head?
- 42: You think I like it in there? It's darker than the woods in a Tim Burton movie.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Her momma sent her to a camp for troubled teens, but she ran away. 'Cause she's trouble.