- [last lines]
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: I hereby promote you to executive delivery boy.
- Philip J. Fry: Executive?
- Hermes Conrad: [whispers to Leela] It's a meaningless title, but it helps insecure people feel better about themselves.
- Philip J. Fry: [Matt Groening and David X. Cohen's executive producer credits fade in] I feel better about myself!
- Police Recruiter: You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?
- Philip J. Fry: That's the plan.
- Police Recruiter: I like you, kid. I got no pants on either.
- Philip J. Fry: I can see that. You're a little bit taller than me.
- URL: What's in the box, Schrödinger?
- Erwin Schrödinger: A cat, some poison und a cesium atom.
- Philip J. Fry: Is the cat alive or dead? Alive or dead? Answer me!
- Erwin Schrödinger: It's in a simultaneous state until you break the construct.
- Philip J. Fry: We'll see about that.
- [Opens box; cat jumps out and attacks him]
- URL: [Looks in box] There's also a lot of drugs in there.
- URL: And to think he was only a few days from retirement.
- Philip J. Fry: What happened to him?
- URL: He decided to take an early retirement.
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: On to business.
- Amy Wong: Wait, aren't you going to say "Good news, everyone"?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: That was for Fry's sake. Made the poor guy feel better about himself.
- Turanga Leela: [on a 3D planet] I can't make out a thing!
- Bender: [having 3D glasses] Well, I guess you should have had two eyes!
- Turanga Leela: Just deliver the package and let's get out of here.
- Bender: Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy. I'm the company chef.
- Turanga Leela: Oh, you're the chef, are you? Then why don't you make us something nice to eat?
- Bender: [grumbling] I'll make you something...
- [exits the room. After a few seconds, he re-enters, furiously]
- Bender: Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly SANDWICH!
- [throws it onto the camera. a caption reads 'PUT ON 3-D GLASSES ONE MINUTE AGO']
- Chief O'Manahan: I'll make it short and sweet, because I'm PMSing like a lumberjack. Police academy is not easy. You're gonna get your boobs scuffed. But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, you ladies will make excellent policemen.
- Philip J. Fry: Sir, yes, ma'am!