- Bosco: Hey Jerry?
- Jerry Hickfang: Yeah?
- Bosco: You remember last week when you said that there was an invisible line that separates good from evil and you'd thought you crossed it and I said no no no you're a good boy?
- Jerry Hickfang: Yeah I remember, so what?
- Bosco: I've changed my opinion.
- Fiona: Friday I had a pretty cushy gig. Had lots of friends, I was the office hottie... now I'm a severed head in a fridge. Sucks to be me, Jerry.
- Bosco: What's the matter, buddy?
- Jerry Hickfang: What am I supposed to do?
- Bosco: I do not know.
- Mr. Whiskers: The same as always, pretend everything's fine.
- Jerry Hickfang: Really?
- Mr. Whiskers: Well, it got you this far, didn't it?
- Jerry Hickfang: I guess so.
- Jerry Hickfang: Hey, Fish.
- Fish: Hey Jerry, how you doin', man?
- Jerry Hickfang: Well, I'm a little bit bummed.
- Fish: No duh, she stood you up!
- Jerry Hickfang: I'm sure there's a reason.
- Fish: I sure hope so. Wish I could help you Jerry... uuh, but I'm just a fish.
- Dr. Warren: [from trailer]
- Jerry Hickfang: [Jerry places the lifeless head of Fiona on the table]
- Dr. Warren: AAAAH!
- Fiona: AAAAH!
- Mr Whiskers: AAAAH!
- Jerry Hickfang: [they keep screaming until Jerry gets annoyed] Mr. Whiskers, Dr. Warren, Fiona, CUT IT OUT!
- Jerry Hickfang: [after spending a romantic evening with Lisa, and having sex he arrives home the next morning] Who is a good boy? Who is a good boy?
- Bosco: I want to smell her crotch, Jer.
- Jerry Hickfang: Come, here. Hey, sit!
- Mr Whiskers: Where the fuck's my food, fuck-face?
- Jerry Hickfang: [Jerry is hugging Bosco and kissing his head] That was the best night of my whole life. Who's a good boy? Yeah.
- Mr Whiskers: Food.
- Jerry Hickfang: [Jerry slightly looks at Mr. Whiskers] Yeah hey, Mr. Whiskers.
- Mr Whiskers: Food. Now! I left you a little gift on the sofa. A reminder why you can't leave us alone without food.
- [There is a small excrement lying on the sofa]
- [first lines]
- Dennis Kowalski: Hey, Jerry.
- Jerry Hickfang: Hey, Mr. Kowalski.
- Dennis Kowalski: Call me Dennis. It's okay.