The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (2009)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Sheldon is helping Penny get dressed without looking] 

  Penny : Now, you gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve.

  Sheldon Cooper : Okay.

  Penny : Is that my arm?

  Sheldon Cooper : It doesn't feel like an arm.

  Penny : Then maybe you should let it go.

  Sheldon Cooper : [pause]  All righty.

• Sheldon Cooper : We have to fill these out. "Describe illness or injury."

  Penny : I dislocated my shoulder.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right. And how did the accident occur?

  Penny : You already know that.

  Sheldon Cooper : Cause of accident: Lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?

  Penny : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : Kidney disease?

  Penny : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : Migraines?

  Penny : Getting one.

  Sheldon Cooper : Are you currently pregnant?

  Penny : No!

  Sheldon Cooper : Are you sure? You look a bit puffy.

  Penny : Change migraine to "yes."

  Sheldon Cooper : When was your last menstrual period?

  Penny : [in a disgusted tone]  Oh, next question.

  Sheldon Cooper : I'll put "in progress." Okay, turning to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioral diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety etc.

  Penny : Oh my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?

  Sheldon Cooper : Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.

  Penny : Ass!

  Sheldon Cooper : Possible Tourette's. All right, "moles, lesions, or other skin conditions." Soup tattoo on right buttock.

• Sheldon Cooper : Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger-side mirror?

  Penny : It's right there.

  Sheldon Cooper : Where is the passenger-side mirror?

  Penny : In a parking lot in Hollywood.

• Sheldon Cooper : While we have a moment, may I ask you a question?

  Penny : What?

  Sheldon Cooper : Why do you have the Chinese character for soup tattooed on your right buttock?

  Penny : It's not 'soup', it's 'courage'.

  Sheldon Cooper : No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.

  Penny : How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.

  Sheldon Cooper : Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

• Penny : Sing Soft Kitty to me.

  Sheldon Cooper : Soft Kitty is for when you're sick. You're not sick.

  Penny : Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.

• Penny : Sheldon, look, I am scared and in a lot of pain. Could you please take a break from being you for just a minute and try being... I don't know... comforting?

• Penny : I slipped in the shower and I think I dislocated my shoulder.

  Sheldon Cooper : Not surprising. You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction.

  Penny : What?

  Sheldon Cooper : Tubs are slippery.

• Penny : Warp speed, Mr. Spock.

  Sheldon Cooper : Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was a science officer. And I guarantee you that if he ever saw the Enterprise's check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.