How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Robin 101 (2009)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : [In Classroom]  Which brings us to an important point: defusing the bomb.

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Apartment]  "Defusing the bomb"? What does that even mean?

  Lily Aldrin : [Reading]  "Three Topics To Distract Robin From Being Mad At You."

  Robin Scherbatsky : "Distract" me? Oh, that is so condescending. These guys are really starting to piss me off!

  [Throws something] 

  Lily Aldrin : "Immediately switch the conversation To one of the following, unless you want Robin to start throwing her shoes."

  [Shots flip between Ted at the classroom and Robin at the apartment] 

  Ted Mosby : One: Vancouver Canucks 2004 Division Title.

  Robin Scherbatsky : What? That's not distracting. That's just talking about the story of a scrappy little underdog team that prevailed despite very shaky goal ending and, frankly, the declining skills of Trevor Linden.

  Ted Mosby : Two: Proper Gun Cleaning and Maintenance.

  Robin Scherbatsky : You have to clean your gun. My uncle had a filthy old shotgun, blew both his thumbs off trying to shoot a beaver. You want to distract someone, make them watch my uncle try to eat corn on the cob.

  Ted Mosby : Three: Emperor Penguins.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Did you know that before intercourse, the male and female emperor penguins bow to each other?

  [Bows] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Mr. Penguin.

  [Bows] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Mrs. Penguin. Oh, God, silly penguins, acting all fancy.

  [laughs] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : What were we talking about?

• Robin Scherbatsky : Look, I'm not the touchy-feely-est person in the world, but a little more effort would be nice.

  Lily Aldrin : I understand. I guess, in a lot of ways, Barney doesn't stack up. I mean, you've had some pretty incredible boyfriends.

  [Look over at Ted] 

  Ted Mosby : [Repeating at different pitches]  Bowl. Booo-wl. Bowl. Bowl.

  Robin Scherbatsky : No, that's not it.

• Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, can I just say that my deepest need in life not to have my father to say, "I am proud of you, eh?"

  Lily Aldrin : So why are you crying now?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Teary]  I'm not crying.