- Jack Donaghy: I can't have bedbugs. I went to Princeton.
- Kenneth Parcell: Sir, everyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had them, and she was a horse.
- Jack Donaghy: You are at the top of the pyramid. Granted, TGS is a small pyramid, but nevertheless it will one day be your tomb. And you can't feel sorry for the slaves that built that pyramid, which, again, will be your tomb.
- Jack Donaghy: [On the subway] Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Jack, and I have bedbugs. I'm not a drug addict, I'm an executive at the General Electric corporation, and just need to get my medicine. If some could tell me how to transfer to the 4 Train, I would be very grateful to you for your help. God bless you and have a good day.
- Jenna Maroney: We have to stop Jayden Tyler! He's evil, Tracy!
- Tracy Jordan: He's evil Tracy? Oh, he's evil, comma, Tracy.
- Liz Lemon: The Hornberger System shall prevail.
- Jenna Maroney: That's what you think, but the Hornberger System shall devail! Is that the opposite of prevail?
- Kenneth Parcell: Oh, Mr. Donaghy! Did they make you ride the freight elevator?
- Jack Donaghy: I walked in your shoes today, Kenneth.
- Kenneth Parcell: I don't think you did, sir. I've just got the one pair, and I sleep in them.
- Jayden Michael Tyler: You're giving me the job no matter what. Because your fingerprints are all over my camera.
- Liz Lemon: So?
- Jayden Michael Tyler: So, you said you'd only hire me if I let you take pictures of my genitals.
- [shows her photos on camera]
- Liz Lemon: Oh, no! What is wrong with them?
- Josh Girard: Josh Girard, former T.G.S. cast member. Then some movie work that didn't pan out. Then my agent dropped me. Then a web short. Where they made me do guy-guy stuff. Oh, God, forgive me. I call this character Smelly Belly.
- Jack Donaghy: Lemon, we're not just hiring an actor, we're hiring a coworker, a human being, and I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care, Love, Live.