The Three Musketeers (2023) User Reviews

Shame.

[vasiliipetrovici · 3/10 · 11 April 2023]

Alexander Dumas is turning over in his grave with such speed that if a generator was hooked up to him, a medium-sized city could be supplied with electricity.

That's how the sly-ass English realized their centuries-long hatred of the French.

Very boring movie. I've never seen such poorly staged fights. I was not impressed with the acting. From the very beginning the unfortunate choice of music hurt my ears. The picture is dark. A very unpleasant feeling after watching it. Don't watch this movie, please. Watch the trailer better, it is only one minute long. I just watched it. Very good trailer, much better than the movie. Or maybe it's just some sophisticated British sarcasm I don't understand, huh?

Must be a tax write off scheme - no other explanation for why someone would spend their money making this

[carobaker-05163 · 1/10 · 18 October 2023]

So so bad. Not even bearable playing in the background. Jarring dialogue delivered very badly. Such obviously cheap production values (looks like they filmed in the local park) Genuinely seen better local amateur dramatics. This is either someone's tax write off or they really hate the producers of the concurrent (but infinitely better) French language Musketeers film and are trying to get in its way. Please do not even bother to 'give it a go' - I watched the trailer and thought 'it can't be that bad'. It absolutely was - in fact, it was worse. The younger members of the cast really shouldn't have been exposed so badly on a national streamer - this crash and burn should have been on a local stage somewhere rather than preserved for posterity.

Great for an amateur dramatic production

[rhodrimwindsor · 1/10 · 17 March 2023]

This was the worst movie I've seen in a long while. A shockingly bad script with wooden performances for most of the cast.

The actor who played the character of D'Artagnan was simply dreadful. Like reading the script for the first time. Not that he should shoulder all the blame. It was like every one of the actors were doing this in their lunchtime.

James Cosmo should feel ashamed that he got himself involved in the abject failure. His agent should be spoken to.

In the context of all the other 'muskateer' movies, this one is easily the worst. I'm surprised they got the money to make it.

Dreadful.

'Oh Dear!'

[pegsam-22749 · 1/10 · 22 October 2023]

Total Rubbish, the worst Musketeers Movie of ALL TIME!

It must have been given a £5 budget and that included the actors wages!

The boat scene, where it supposedly overturned was beyond ridiculous, that boat never went in the water, it wasn't deeper than a foot at it deepest! It was no more than a shallow stream!

This was the turn off point, I love movies and always look for something positive, this was very poor.

My first 1 rating.

Looking at some of the other reviews, I'm guessing this movie won't be turning up in many dvd collections, it certainly won't be showing up in mine!

'All for One and One for All!

Dreadful.

[neithropboy · 1/10 · 23 September 2023]

I thought this might be good but gave up after twenty minutes. The script is poor and poorly delivered. It's not clear whether this is a directorial choice or whether the lead, Malachi Latchman, simply can't act. It's the most wooden performance I've ever seen in any role since a 1950s B-movie. The stilted delivery of the dialogue is just depressing.

Costumes and locations are good, which makes the rest of the production so much more disappointing.

Comparison to the 1974 Richard Lester production is perhaps unfair but when the bar was set so high fifty years ago, why settle for something so low as this?

Do yourself a favour, give this a miss and get 90 minutes of your life back.

Came here just to review this

[AlexanderSit · 4/10 · 11 September 2023]

D'Artagnan's character development was so compelling that it made the entire film hard to stomach. Watching a character who should've met an early demise, survive was painful. Knowing so many amazing films and TV shows have been carefully and lovingly created only to never make it to air, yet this did, hurt me to my very soul. It's a brain-cell drainer; better options exist.

This might be the strongest case for stronger copyright protection. Alexander Dumas created a masterpiece and it was reduced to this.

I really don't like to mock work but it just felt so pedestrian. Granted Locations, Lighting, Camera, Art, Costume, HMU, and the behind the stage did a good job making what they could from what they had.

Very badly cast

[robertasmith · 5/10 · 10 October 2023]

Without James Cosmo, I would have stopped watching after a short time. This is very badly cast and the actor playing D'Artagnan is just appalling. I loved the Richard Lester film with Michael York in the role and that version was well written, acted, directed and cast. This offering is none of those things and is just embarrassing except for James Cosmo who lifts everything he is in. He must owe the tax man to be in this rubbish. Why did the producers think a new version was needed and why did they employing a casting director who clearly hasn't a clue. The sets are ordinary and everything is clean and tidy meaning there is zero atmosphere. I just despair at how so many rubbish films are being produced these days and being forced on us by Amazon and Netflix.

The Three Musketeers

[CinemaSerf · 4/10 · 5 November 2023]

The recent BBC television serial was poor, but at least they threw some cash at the costumes and the locations. This is just terrible, full stop! I am usually a fan of veteran Scots actor James Cosmo, but here - in the guise of the scheming French Cardinal Richelieu, he really is a poisson sans de l'eau. His manoeuvring to take power causes the Musketeers to be disbanded. Fortunately, "Porthos" (David O'Mahony), "Athos" (Ben Freeman) and "Aramis" (Jake J, Meniani) team up with enthusiastic rookie "D'Artagnan" (Malachi Pullar-Latchman) to retell the story of bravery and loyalty in the face of overwhelming odds. Not only must they protect the king (Tim Taplin) from the evil Cardinal, his henchman "Rochefort" (James Oliver Wheatley) and the devious "Milady" (Preeya Kalidas) but they must also explain to us just why we would want to waste one hundred whole minutes of our lives on the poorly directed, weakly scripted school college project. Christopher Cook brings the only relief, really, as he scored the closing titles on this no-budget drama that has been created and presented with a minimum of imagination and even less acting talent. Nope, straight to a streamer for the 4am slot.

An uninspired adaptation of the Disney movie

[zoi_no_miko · 6/10 · 29 December 2023]

The bar isn't high when it comes to adaptations of the three musketeers. Recent contenders (France's Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan and The Fourth Musketeer) certainly haven't raised it. I was briefly impressed when this movie started out with far more promise and entertainment value, especially in the action and comedy department, as well as being unafraid to use color in their costuming.

This was until we quickly began to realize that all the entertaining bits were all story beats from Disney's 1993 adapation (Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Tim Curry). After that realization we sadly couldn't unsee it.

Still, this might have been entertaining if they'd committed to a genre instead of bouncing between comedy, intrigue and wilderness survival documentary.

The 3 Inseparables were very well cast, however, and bonus points for the unexpected edition of Madame Chevreuse and Madame Coquenard showing up out of nowhere on horseback to save the day, though we're pretty sure the writers lifted THAT beat from fanfic.

This movie gets 2 stars for the 2 unexpected ladies.

D'Artagnan

[ssuacaptain · 1/10 · 6 April 2024]

Dear producers, actors and others

Listen, are you kidding me??? D'Artagnan was black ??? Stop it!!!

Every movie, every parable has its own story. Well, you can't indulge someone who needs it like that. D'Artagnan was never black, why film such a blatant lie??? The directors and producers just ruined this beautiful story. I am disgusted.

If you commissioned this movie, you should be ashamed. Because you ruined one of the best adventure stories ever. Please, for the future, before shooting any historical film, at least familiarize yourself with French history a little.

I can give you an idea for shooting a new film. Make a movie about the Apple company and let the main character Steve Jobs be black.

Some of the worst acting ever

[chriswood-68237 · 1/10 · 31 March 2024]

To be fair I only managed 45 mins of this movie, it may well get better in the second half....... But I doubt it. This is one of the worst films I've ever seen, the acting is so wooden and hammy, I've seen more effort and skill from a school nativity play. It seems like no one could be bothered to put any effort in and everything was filmed on the first take

The script, costumes and direction are somehow worse than the acting. None of the characters are likeable which could maybe just about help this movie. The character development is nonexistent, not helped by the fact nothing happened in the 45 mins I actually managed

Simply terrible.