- Ron Donald: [as he is burning the American flag in order to make it look like it's been through battle] You can be two things in life: You can be an achiever or a fuck-up.
- Henry Pollard: And which one are you being right now?
- Ron Donald: I'm an achiever!
- Henry Pollard: Well, then, I'm definitely a fuck-up. I gotta say, standing here watching you light a flag on fire in a parking lot... I feel kinda okay about it.
- Ron Donald: What are you going to think when you walk into a Soup or Crackers and see me shaking hands with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
- Henry Pollard: What the fuck am I doing in a Soup or Crackers?