- Randy: Things with Phil Collins didn't turn out too rosy. Fucking walrus! Sure, I was high all the time, but he ate just as much as I did, maybe more. Shut the fuck up Phil, can't you see I'm doing an interview!
- Phil Collins: I had to fire Randall from the Dirty Burger partnership cause he was baked all the fucking time! Sweaty bitch was high!
- Ricky: What the fuck is going on in there, you OK?
- Julian: Ah fuck. Cover me my gun's jammed.
- Ricky: Sam you're about to get your empty fucking cave head full of bullets.
- Sam Lasco: With a pellet gun Ricky? Put the fucking thing down right now.
- Ricky: It's Bubble's pellet gun Sam. That's all I got.
- Sam Lasco: Fine. Put it down. And bring me that sandwich.
- Ricky: I'm not giving you my fucking sandwich.
- Bubbles: [Sweaty Randy sits in Julian's chair and leave a sweat outline in the chair] Oh my sweet Jesus. You might get it out with baking soda but the stink, you'll never get that out!
- Bubbles: [Bringing a towel to Ray who's taking a bath in a dumpster] What happened to your neck Ray?
- Ray: Fucking gulls are biting like crazy Bubs.
- Bubbles: The gulls are biting?
- Ray: Seagulls!
- Bubbles: Seagulls are nipping at ya?
- Ray: Yeah, I got bit twice yesterday by one fucker.
- Bubbles: My God that's greasy.
- Ray: Sometimes life is greasy Bubbles.
- Bubbles: [hearing thunder, to Julian and Ricky] My God boys hear that? Help me hump these fucking bologna logs to the car please. It's gonna rain horse cocks tonight.
- J-Roc: [to Randy] Oh my Christ know what I'm saying? You combo, battle-star gwactica, onion ring, flux capacitor.
- Tyrone 'T': It's back to the slimfast.
- Bubbles: Mr. Leahy expects me to take care of all the food. Take a guess what it is? Fucking bologna sandwiches. I don't know whether I'm interested in all this fucking dirty dancing bologna sandwich stuff. Fuck bologna sandwiches. Fucking bologna sandwiches.
- Bubbles: We just mind our own business down here at the dump. Nobody comes down here fucking with anybody. I'm just bottling liquor... that's my job. Paid by the hour, no bullshit. Bottling Ray's Good Liquor. It's a dirty, sassy liquor. Ahhh... so sassy.
- Randy: [Randy on walkie talkie to Mr. Lahey] This is Randy, come in.
- Jim Lahey: [Mr. Lahey not pressing walkie talkie, filling a watermelon with Vodka] Randy I heard you bud I'll be over in a minute.
- Randy: Come in Mr. Leahy, come in.
- Jim Lahey: [Mr. Lahey now pressing walike talkie button] Randy I copy you I'll be over in second bud, I'm busy right now. Can I wear your cowboy boots bud?
- Ricky: God love Randy he's fucking trying, but he's smoking way too much dope. When I smoked the mosted dope in my like it was 5, 10 grams a day and he's smoking 10, 15 grams a day and it dumbs him out. It's way too much for him he's not that smart as it goes anyway.
- Ricky: I love all creature likes gophers and deerts and those things that fly and everything else but, fuck seagulls, I got no time for those cocksuckers.
- Jim Lahey: Everything I touch turns to shit. I must have been crazy to team up with Sam. I don't think the liquor's workin' for me any more, Bandingo. Maybe I'm not the liquor.
- Randy: Why don't you try one of these liquor-sicles Mr. Lahey, then we'll see who's not the liquor? You are the liquor. You've always been the liquor, Mr. Lahey.
- Jacob Collins: Aw boys, we can't have all these dicks getting in! Seriously, no more dicks!
- Cyrus: Hey, I'm on the guest list.
- J-Roc: [Rapping] Here we go, Phil, you getting your bologna on, dog? Peace! Uh. Uh. First thing is I control all the purse strings. My wallets are jam packed with greenbacks, they're bursting. Next thing. No dress rehearsing. My joints go down smoother than the drinks I'm nursing. The worst thing is that the crowd ain't bouncing. Even with my boasting, my fly mic announcing. They ain't responding and let me tell you B, would hurt the feelings of a less hard G. I don't get it. My lyrics are poetic. My energy up on stage is frenetic. It's kinetic. The vibe between me and T, the stage is set for something electric...
- Cyrus: [Pulls out a gun] Alright time to go to work! I've got bills to pay and love to make! Ladies grab the dope! Nobody get more stupider!
- Ricky: Try my dad's liquor too, the first drink is a little rough but it fuckin' goes down good after that.
- Bubbles: Get your hands off me! Here, if you're that hungry, take a whole bologna log, take some bread, take some mustard, and go fuck off would ya!
- Julian: What's going on here? We've got dicks, dicks, more dicks!
- Ricky: When we call someone a dick do you know what that means?
- Jacob Collins: Yeah!
- Ricky: No I don't think you do! Cause there's dicks all over the place! And not just the guys, there's women dicks in here too! Now get rid of them! Get them the fuck out of here!
- Jacob Collins: Alright guys, no dicks!
- Jim Lahey: [Last lines] You know, shit moves in circles. 360 degree shit-circles. When the shit comes around again, I'll be ready Julian.