Kaminey (2009)

Amole Gupte: Bhope

Quotes 

• Bhope Bhau : Is this your culture, to lure innocent girls and screw them? When did you arrive here?

  Guddu : Here in Bombay?

  Bhope Bhau : [correcting]  Mumbai.

  Guddu : I was born here, but Father arrived in B... Bombay in 1984.

  Bhope Bhau : [again correcting]  Mumbai.

  Guddu : It was called Bombay back then.

  Ganesh : You bastard! It was Mumbai then and it is Mumbai now!

  Bhope Bhau : You bloody migrants are chewing the city hollow like termites. The city is bursting at its seams and you people swarm like flies to rob our share of the pie.

  Guddu : My father used to say that we are like sugar added to milk. If we leave, the milk won't lessen but will turn bland.

  Ganesh : How thoughtful. The chief has diabetes.

• Charlie : Can I have your fell number?

  Bhope Bhau : [to others]  What's he saying?

  Bhope Bhau : [to Charlie]  WHICH number?

  Charlie : Fell. Mobile.

  Bhope Bhau : [laughs]  Do... do... do you lisp?

  Charlie : Not really. I pronounce S as F.

  Bhope Bhau : [misinterpreting]  If not as F, will you pronounce it as L? What about your brother? Does he lisp as well?

  Charlie : He stammers

  Bhope Bhau : [laughing]  One lisps and the other stammers!

• Mikhail : [holding a chili pepper before Bhope]  You know what we do when a horse refuses to run? We stuff a chili up his ass. How it takes off then.

  Mikhail : [making the sound of a horse running off onto the distance]  Takbut, takbut, takbut, takbut, takbut, takbut... Later on, to catch up with it, the jockey sticks TWO up his own.

  Bhope Bhau : Two?

  Mikhail : [imitating the sound of a running jockey]  Sarpat, sarpat, sarpat, sarpat...

  [Everyone laughs but Charlie] 

  Bhope Bhau : [laughing]  Our way of dealing with laggards is a little different. We don't try to make them run. We just blow them off.

• Charlie : Have you ever met him?

  Bhope Bhau : No.

  Charlie : Good for you. You've been lucky. He brings misfortune. There could be no worse omen than to see his shitty face. You mentioned him and my cell phone conked out.

• Bhope Bhau : Listen, I understand your love for each other - I got a vibe in the train - but if my sister marries a migrant, I'll be crucified. My grave will be dug. Not only will I lose my reputation, but my election fund as well. The builder is paying me to get his son and Sweety married. Five crores! Can you imagine how much that is?

  Lele : [heard in flashback]  Hey.

  Burgess : [heard in flashback]  There is powder worth ten crores in the guitar.

  Bhope Bhau : One million dollars.

  Charlie : [heard in flashback]  I'll shoot her! I'll shoot her!

  Bhope Bhau : How much? Five whopping crores!

  Guddu : If I give you ten, will you sell her to me?

• Bhope Bhau : Please come in, Mr. Sharma.

  Charlie : Sorry?

  Bhope Bhau : We barged in unannounced. We waited outside for awhile but we were hungry, so we came in hoping to find something to eat. Nothing beats fresh burgers on a rainy day.