I, Claudius (TV Mini Series)

Fool's Luck (1976)

Derek Jacobi: Claudius

Photos 

Quotes 

• Herod : Listen Claudius, let me give you a piece of advice.

  Claudius : Oh, I thought you'd finished giving advice.

  Herod : Well, just one more piece, then I'm done. Trust no one, my friend, no one. Not your most grateful freedman. Not your most intimate friend. Not your dearest child. Not the wife of your bosom. Trust no one.

  Claudius : No one? Not even you?

• Senator : There are those who say you cannot hear properly, you cannot speak properly, and that you've got no experience of government.

  Claudius : And that I am besides half-witted. Senators, it is true that I am hard of hearing, but you will find it is not for want of listening. As for speaking, again, it's true I have an impediment. But isn't what a man says more important than how long he takes to say it? It's true again I have little experience of government. But then, have you more? I at least have lived with the imperial family who has ruled this empire ever since you so spinelessly handed it over to us. I've observed it working more closely than any of you. Is your experience better than that? As for being half-witted, well, what can I say - except that I have survived to middle age with *half* my wits, while thousands have died with *all* of theirs intact. Evidently, *quality* of wits is more important than *quantity*. Senators, I shall do nothing unconstitutional; I shall appear at the next session of the senate where you may confirm me in my position or not as you wish. But if it pleases you not to, explain your reasons to them

  [points at the Praetorians] 

  Claudius : Not to me.

• Senator : You are not fit to be Emperor.

  Claudius : I agree. But nor was my nephew.

  Senator : Then what difference is there between you?

  Claudius : He would not have agreed. And by now your head would be on that floor for saying so.

• Claudius : [Cassius Chaerea and three senators are on trial for murdering Caligula]  I cannot find it in me to condemn you, Cassius, for murdering my nephew. But you also murdered the lady Caesonia and their child, and you meant to murder me and my wife, none of whom had ever done you any harm. Is this true?

  Cassius Chaerea : I did it for the Republic, and I'd do it again.

  Claudius : No, you did it more for injuries to yourself. But even *that* doesn't weigh with me. What weighs with me is what I've heard: that it was agreed among you that only Caligula should die, but that you took it upon yourself to kill us all. Is that true?

  Cassius Chaerea : Why should I deny it, when your very existence here proves that only your death would have insured the return of the Republic?

  Claudius : Then you leave me no choice, but to condemn you for the murder of the Lady Caesonia and her child.

  [to the guards] 

  Claudius : Take him away.

  Cassius Chaerea : Congratulations Caesar. You've just passed your first sentence of death. How many more before the people grow tired and pass one on you? Isn't that the way we've set for ourselves, Caesar? Think about it, Caesar. Think about it.

  Claudius : [looks at the Senators who are also on trial]  The investigation into this affair... is closed.

• Claudius : [at the end of a session with irreverent doctor Xenophon]  Well, don't you prescribe special prayers to be used when taking medicine?

  Xenophon : I suggest, Caesar, that as High Pontiff and the author of a book on religion, you are more qualified to prescribe prayers than I am.

  Claudius : Do you Greeks believe in nothing?

  Xenophon : I told you what I believe in. Briony.

  [turns to go, stops, turns back] 

  Xenophon : [salutes casually]  Hail Caesar.