- Tammy: I quit! It's obvious you don't trust me!
- Adam: Why would you think I don't trust you? Whose baby is that?
- Tammy: You won't let me in your office, why? Because I have a prison record? Because people like me don't deserve a second chance and why should they even let us out?
- Adam: I don't let anyone in my office.
- Tammy: Why not?
- Adam: Because I'm not sure about Joe yet and I didn't want to single him out.
- Tammy: Ooh yeah, why did you hire him? He's kind of creepy.
- Adam: Because he just got out of prison and I'm trying to give him a second chance.
- Marjorie: Jerry, wait... I didn't watch Sophia all by myself. I had to take a sick cat to the vet, so Christy came over and stayed with her, but then she got a cold and gave Sophia to her mother and... basically everyone on my speed-dial spent the afternoon with her, but she was always safe and loved, even though she went to a bar and her first AA meeting.
- Jerry: Wow... I can't believe you're telling me all this.
- Marjorie: It's just that, it took so long to get you back in my life, I wanted to be honest with you.
- Jerry: I see... I'll talk to you later, Mom.
- Tammy: [taking Sophia home] This is a great time to be a girl, you don't have to take an C-R-A-P off of anybody, and you can tell a man when he's being a D-I-C-K... okay, we're going to make *one* stop.
- Bonnie: Really, Marjorie? No spare tire but you've got an emergency Christmas sweater in your trunk?
- Christy: [sick, answers phone] Hello?
- Marjorie: Where are you?
- Christy: I don't know.
- Marjorie: Where's Sophia?
- Christy: She's with my mom in your living room.
- Marjorie: I'm *in* my living room, nobody's here.
- Christy: I'll conference her.
- Bonnie: [answers phone] Yeah?
- Christy: Where are you?
- Bonnie: Watching Arlo put a new tire on my car.
- Marjorie: Where's Sophia?
- Bonnie: She's with Jill in your living room.
- Marjorie: No, she's not.
- Christy: Hang on, I'll conference her.
- Jill: Hello.
- Marjorie: Jill, where's Sophia?
- Jill: I had a bit of a meltdown at the meeting, so Tammy brought her home and they're in your living room.
- Marjorie: No they're not.
- Christy: I'll conference her.
- Tammy: [answers] Hey Marjorie.
- Christy, Marjorie, Bonnie, Jill: Where are you/the baby?
- Tammy: Is this a conference call? I've never had one of those.
- Marjorie: Tammy, where are you?
- Tammy: I'm in your living room.
- [opens door]
- Marjorie: No you're not!
- [turns around]
- Marjorie: Never mind, yes you are.
- [hangs up]