3 Idiots (2009)
Aamir Khan: Rancho
Photos
Quotes
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Machine Class Professor : Why are you back?
Rancho : Sir, I forgot to take something...
Machine Class Professor : What?
Rancho : Instruments that record, analyse, summarise, organise, debate and explain information; that are illustrated, non-illustrated, hardbound, paperback, jacketed, non-jacketed; with foreword, introduction, table of contents, index; that are indented for the enlightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through sensory route of vision - sometimes touch.
Machine Class Professor : [confused] What are you trying to say?
Rancho : Books sir! I forgot to take my books.
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Rancho : Pursue excellence, and success will follow, pants down.
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Rancho : [At Pia's sister's wedding] Hi.
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [a little surprised, as she doesn't know him] Hello.
Rancho : I have a free advice, would you try?
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Still smiling] What?
Rancho : [Takes her drink away] Let me hold this first, else you may later throw it on me. Leave this guy.
[Points at his fiancee]
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Now angry] What?
Suhas : [Meanwhile her Fiancee, speaking to somebody else a little far away] Look at this coat. Yes, its quite costly, 50K.
Rancho : Look at him. He is a moving price tag! He will always keep you reminding of price of every single object he bought. Your life will become a supermarket!
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Extremely angry] Excuse me. Who the hell are you? You don't know anything about him.
Rancho : Oh, you need a demonstration! Okay, watch me, he will tell his shoe's price in a second, without anybody even asking him!
[He pushed a waiter, who was carrying a green gooey chutney. The chutney fell on Suhas's shoe]
Suhas : [shouting] You idiot! What the hell! This shoe cost me 10K!
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Rancho : [Repeatedly said throughout the movie] Aal izz well
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Rancho : [after indirectly making Pia break up with her fiancee] Come on, help us. My friend's father is very ill!
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : Go away!
Rancho : Come on! You are almost a doctor! What is that oath you take... oh yes, Hippocratic oath - I will help a fellow patient, I remain a member of society with special obligations etc.
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Reluctantly allows him to get up on her scooter] Okay.
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Later when Rancho is speeding with the scooter, with the patient and Pia on the back, towards the hospital] You crashed my sister's wedding, you broke my engagement, for you my Dad keeps taking blood pressure tablets... and I am helping you? Hippocrates screwed us Doctors!
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Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Now that everyone knows, Rancho's real surname is not Chhanchhad] Thank God, after marriage my name wont be Pia Chhanchhad!
Raju Rastogi : So what is your actual name?
Rancho : Phunsukh Wangdu.
Farhan Qureshi : What?
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : [Thinking of her future name] Pia Wangdu?
Rancho : [to Raju & Farhan] Phunsukh Wangdu.
Farhan Qureshi : Phunsukh Wangdu? Silencer's Phunsukh Wangdu?
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : I don't want to be named Pia Wangdu!
Rancho : [to Raju & Farhan] Yes.
Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe : Can I keep my name after marriage?
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Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : [In the auditorium, delivering a speech] Today, if ICE is touching sky-high limits, then the credit goes to only one man: Shri Viru Sahastrabudhhe! Give him a hand!
Librarian Dubey : [Leans towards Sahastrabudhhe] Sir, the voice is his, but the words are mine.
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : He's a great guy, really, you are. For the past 32 years in this college, he has continuously committed rapes upon rapes.
Rancho : [to Rastogi] He meant, "Miracles upon miracles."
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : I hope he continues to do so. We often wondered how a person in his lifetime can do these many rapes. With this extreme self-discipline, he's made himself this capable. Correct usage of time, complete utilization of the bell. Somebody learn from him. Learn from him. Learn from him!
Minister in Auditorium : [Holding back Sahastrabudhhe] Sit down, sit down!
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Today, we all students are here. Tomorrow, we'll spread across so many countries. I promise you all, whichever country we are in, there we'll rape! We'll bring glory to the name of ICE! We'll show everyone the ability to rape that students over here have. No other student across the globe has it! No other student! No other student!
[after waiting for the chanting to die down]
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Respected minister, namaskar. You have given the thing this institution needs the most:...
Rancho : Money! Money!
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Breasts!
Librarian Dubey : Not that! That word means this!
[Gestures breasts with his hands]
Minister in Auditorium : What kind of insulting things is this boy saying?
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Everyone has breasts.
[Shoves hand into pocket]
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Everyone keeps it hidden. Nobody ever gives it willingly!
Minister in Auditorium : This guy is too vulgar!
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : You have given your breasts to the hands of this rapist. Now, let us see how he makes use of it.
Minister in Auditorium : Sahstrabudhhe, don't you have any brains? Indecent guy.
[walks out of the auditorium]
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : Let me recite a shlok for this golden occasion.
Rancho : Listen. Listen. He'll explain his farts in Sanskrit.
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : The loudest fart sounds like a motor vehicle.
Millimeter - MM : Fart? Go, silencer!
Chatur Ramalingam aka 'Silencer' : A weaker one sounds like a train. The weakest fart is a silent killer.
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Viru Sahastrabudhhe : [Angrily silencing students laughing] Quiet!
[Points at Rancho]
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : Nonsense! Is this how you'll teach engineering?
Rancho : Sir, I wasn't teaching you engineering. You're an expert at that. I was teaching you... how to teach.
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : [get shocked]
Rancho : And I'm sure one day you'll learn, because unlike you, I never abandon my weak students.
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Rancho : These engineers are very smart sir, they didn't invent a machine which can measure the pressure on the brain. If they had, we would have come to know that this was not a suicide but a Murder.
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Rancho : I never manage to plant the kiss dude... the nose comes in between.
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Rancho : Do you know why I come first?
Farhan Qureshi : Why?
Rancho : I'm in love with machine. Engineering is my passion.
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Rancho : The chicken doesn't know the fate of its egg. Will it be hatched or become fried egg?
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Rancho : We have a lots of exam but have only one dad.
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Rancho : Sir, why this seating according to rank?
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : Any problem with that?
Rancho : Yes, this grading system is like a caste system. A-graders: Kings, C-graders: Slaves. It's not nice, sir.
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : You have a better idea?
Rancho : Yes. Results should not be displayed at all. Why publicise someone's flaws? If your iron count is low, will the doctor prescribe tonic or air your report on TV? You see, sir?
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : So basically, what you're saying is, I should personally go to each student's room and whisper in their ears: "You have come first", "You're second", "Oh, I'm so sorry, you have failed".
Rancho : No sir, I mean grades create a divide. I've topped so I'm next to you. My pals came last, they're in the back corner.
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : At least they're in the corner. More time with you, and they'll be out of the photo. They will neither pass, nor get a job.
Rancho : They'll get jobs, sir. There must be some firm that...
[Looking at Chatur]
Rancho : prefer humans to machines. They'll get jobs. I guarantee.
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : You guarantee it?
Rancho : Bet, sir?
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : Govind!
Govind : Yes, sir?
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : [Pointing at Raju and Farhan] Even if one of them gets a job in campus interviews... shave off my moustache.
Govind : [Shocked]
Rancho : [Shocked] Sir!
Viru Sahastrabudhhe : Happy?
Rancho : Happy, sir.
