Psych (TV Series)

Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion (2008)

James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Carlton Lassiter : [as Shawn is on stage explaining the crime]  Wait, wait, wait, wait. This doesn't make any sense. Gregor was already dead.

  Shawn Spencer : Do I come down to your office and bother you when you're working?

  Carlton Lassiter : All the time.

  Shawn Spencer : That's fair.

• Shawn Spencer : The 'cheetah' is the worst name for a pick-up move in the history of mankind. Remember the rule: Treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again. Besides, I think 'Operation Colonel Sugar-lemons' is a much better move for a place like this.

• Shawn Spencer : Look, I don't care what you do, okay? I don't care! I just don't want to hear about it. So don't call me on the phone, asking me for advice... and don't expect me to meet you and your new dominatrix girlfriend for dinner.

  Henry Spencer : Kid, this isn't easy for me, either.

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah, it never was. Have a nice date.

  [Shawn turns to leave, but hesitates in the doorway] 

  Shawn Spencer : And unless you plan on taking her to Wayne Manor, lose the turtleneck, okay? Let her admire her work. And remember, you treat a woman like a person, and then a princess, and then a Greek goddess...

  Henry Spencer : ...and then a person again.

  Shawn Spencer : Right.

  Henry Spencer : [smiles]  Okay.

• Doorman : Holy crap! It is you! Sorry for the mix-up, Tan.

  Shawn Spencer : I beg your pardon? My name is Black. His name is Tan. I can't believe you just made that assumption. You should be ashamed of yourself and your family.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Don't just get up there and start winging it. That's not how we operate.

  Shawn Spencer : Dude... where have you been for the last two years?

• Shawn Spencer : [trying to call Gus]  Straight to voicemail, huh? That's how we're doing it now? One moderately hot chick comes by and suddenly I'm invisible? You know what, Gus? That's fine. I'm taking the bunk next to the window, and don't be surprised if your pillow smells faintly of my butt!

• Shawn Spencer : Stop the projector!

  [movie continues to play] 

  Shawn Spencer : Or... or just keep it going. That's... that's fine.

• Shawn Spencer : [about Emily's drawings]  Wow... these are really good.

  Emily Bloom : Oh, thank you. Um, I've never really shown them to anyone before.

  Shawn Spencer : Why not? I'd totally wear these.

  [points to a drawing of a bikini] 

  Shawn Spencer : This if I was very confused.

• Shawn Spencer : How's it going, crimefighters?

  Juliet O'Hara : Well, they're not very forthcoming... or bright.

  Carlton Lassiter : One of them could not confirm the correct spelling of his own name.

• Shawn Spencer : All right, what do we know about Emily Bloom?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Well, she wrote "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret" and "Freckle Juice".

  Shawn Spencer : I think that was Judy Blume.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Oh. Then I got nothing.

• Henry Spencer : Thanks for coming, son.

  Shawn Spencer : You said it was important.

  [sees Henry's tight black turtleneck] 

  Shawn Spencer : Clearly, you're about to shoot an Old Spice commercial.

• [Shawn finds Gus preening in a mirror] 

  Shawn Spencer : Am I dreaming?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nope. I just look this good.

• Shawn Spencer : Do you suspect foul play?

  Carlton Lassiter : Not really. There's no one here with an IQ over 40.

• Juliet O'Hara : Guys, we don't have time for this.

  Shawn Spencer : I know, and that's why I'm here to offer our services.

  Carlton Lassiter : I'd rather shower with a bear.

• Shawn Spencer : [on the models]  Look, they're only going to talk to their own kind, okay? Shallow, judgmental, cruel, and gorgeous. We're already embedded.

• Henry Spencer : [about his upcoming date]  Should I take her to Crab Shack Willy's or The Third Wharf?

  Shawn Spencer : Those can't possibly be real places.

• Shawn Spencer : I know this may be hard for some of you to believe, but I'm not really Black. And I'm not a model. My partner Gus and I are detectives.

  Berlinda : [to Gus, disgusted]  You're not a model?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm only a detective part time. And my full name is Tangus.

• Shawn Spencer : I'm Black.

  Emily Bloom : I know who you are. You're staying at the loft. You're the one no one believes used to be a model.

• [after Shawn finishes explaining how the murders happened] 

  Carlton Lassiter : [holding up handcuffs]  So, what do I do with these?

  Shawn Spencer : Nothing. I guess what I'm saying is, you're all free to leave.