- Forrest: This outfit, does it make it look like I'm trying too hard?
- Delia: Honey, you remember when my mother thought she was the first to discover Bitmojis?
- Forrest: [laughing] Yeah.
- Delia: Yeah. This is like that. Except I can't block it.
- Forrest: I'm just so nervous, you know? I... I'm trying to get a job at this company, and the oldest person there is, like, fifteen years younger than I am.
- Delia: You've got this. Just breathe. Calm. Centered.
- Forrest: Nobody in the history of humanity has ever been calmed or centered by that gesture.
- Forrest: How did you get sprayed by a skunk? Is this one of those weird country guy things? Do you eat them?
- Wade Felton: No. No, no, no, no. It's-it's... it's a long story. But, guys, I think I may have met someone. I-I can't stop thinking about her.
- Ben: Well, who is she?
- Wade Felton: I have no idea.
- Wade Felton: I just wish I knew what was going on with Grace and this dance.
- Natalie Felton: I know what's going on. Justin got pinkeye.
- Wade Felton: Oh. Okay, well, can't she just go with her friends?
- Natalie Felton: Well, she was supposed to go with Jenna and Nika, but then Jenna and Nika, they have dates, so then she felt like she'd be the fifth wheel, but then she could go with Lexi, Claire, and Maisie, but then Claire and Maisie aren't talking to each other, so Grace would have to pick sides, so then that leaves Audrey, Tess, and Phoebe, but then they're like the Three Musketeers...
- Wade Felton: Yeah, okay, okay. I get it, I get it. She doesn't have anyone to go with.
- Wade Felton: Oh, my god. Oh! My-my... my lips are on fire.
- Natalie Felton: You kissed me right on my acne medicine.
- Wade Felton: What... since when do you have acne?
- Grace Felton: I'm gonna tell Andrew yes.
- [checking her phone]
- Grace Felton: Oh, my god, the dance is in two hours!
- Wade Felton: Oh, well, that's plenty of time.
- [she and Natalie glare at him]
- Wade Felton: I can see from the look on your faces that it's not.
- Wade Felton: Grace, I got bras. Ten of 'em. They had questions that I couldn't answer, so... I went with every possibility.
- Grace Felton: Thanks, dad, for going through that trouble, but, um... I've decided I'm not going to the dance.
- Wade Felton: What happened?
- Grace Felton: Nothing happened. I'd just rather stay at home, have some ice cream, and watch a movie. Is that okay?
- Wade Felton: Uh, of-of course that's okay. Yeah, whatever you want.
- Grace Felton: Cool. Thanks.
- Wade Felton: Okay.
- Natalie Felton: Awesome. What are we gonna watch?
- Wade Felton: Um... "Ferris Beuller's Day Off".
- Natalie Felton: [groaning] How about something from this century?
- Michelle: Oh, I'm free? Sure. All I've got to do is drop off four kids, pick up Kai's cap and gown, and decorate for his graduation party tomorrow.
- Ben: I'd check in on Wade myself, but I have to work.
- [realizing what he just said]
- Ben: I mean... clearly, motherhood is work. More flexible hours. Or less. I should stop talking.
- Michelle: Yes, you should.
- Grace Felton: Andrew just asked me to the dance.
- Wade Felton: Did he? Really? That's so nice. I-I love Andrew.
- Grace Felton: [suspiciously] What'd you do?
- Wade Felton: N-Nothing. I was just thinking that you don't have anybody to go with and you like him, and he really likes you.
- Grace Felton: Did you talk to him?
- Wade Felton: For, like, one minute.
- Grace Felton: Did you threaten him again?
- Wade Felton: Look, I didn't threaten him the first time, Grace. Come on.
- Grace Felton: How do you even know he really wants to go with me?
- Natalie Felton: Oh, please. He totally likes you. It's gross.
- Grace Felton: Shut up.
- Grace Felton: This could not be any worse!
- Wade Felton: Grace. You need to open the door. I'm sure the dress looks wonderful.
- Grace Felton: It's a disaster! Justin can't see me like this. Do you really think Justin can see me like this?
- Wade Felton: *I* can't see you like this. Will you please just open the door?
- [she does so]
- Wade Felton: You... you look great.
- Grace Felton: Really? This is what looks great, the fact that you can see my bra? Is that what you're saying looks great? That's weird.
- Wade Felton: I didn't say that.
- Grace Felton: So you're saying I look great as long as I'm standing against a wall? So I should just stand against a wall the entire night tonight? That's your solution?
- Wade Felton: Yes, that's my solution.
- Grace Felton: That is so not funny!
- Wade Felton: [she shuts the door] Grace, come on. I'm just...
- Natalie Felton: She's been acting like this all week. Do you think she's on drugs?
- Wade Felton: Worse. She's a teenager.
- Michelle: Ooh, sorry. I didn't mean to look at that.
- Wade Felton: Oh, no, no, no. That's-that's... that's fine.
- Michelle: What you do when you're alone, that's your business.
- Wade Felton: It's not porn, Michelle. I'm bra shopping.
- Michelle: Okay...
- Wade Felton: For Grace. So that she can look good for some horrible boy. I mean, I shouldn't say that. I'm sure he's a very nice guy. But I hate him.
- Michelle: On principle.
- Wade Felton: I mean, I can't believe it. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that all she wanted to do on Friday nights was curl up on the couch with me, eat ice cream, and watch terrible Tinker Bell movies.
- Delia: Can someone please bring Eli a Gatorade? I need a urine sample from him, and he's given me nothing.
- [seeing everyone standing around]
- Delia: What's going on?
- Nurse Christine: The rep from Vizor Pharma is here, and you're blocking my view.
- Delia: Okay, guys, are we in an office or this is a...
- [turning and seeing him]
- Delia: Oh. That's an... attractive man.
- Natalie Felton: [playing soccer in the street] And Tobin Heath breaks free! She heads down the field, goes for the kick, and...
- [she kicks the ball, which hits Wade in the groin]
- Wade Felton: [groaning in pain] Oh!
- Natalie Felton: You're supposed to block it!
- Wade Felton: I did.
- Natalie Felton: With your hands.
- Ben: So, she still wants to watch movies with you on the couch. That's great!
- Wade Felton: Yeah, but is it? I mean, it's her first dance. I mean, she should go to her first dance, shouldn't she?
- Ben: You're talking to the wrong guy. I just fell apart at a five-year-old's graduation. Once my little man learns how to wipe his own butt, I'm gonna lose it.