Psych (TV Series)
Zero to Murder in Sixty Seconds (2007)
Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter
Photos
Quotes
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Carlton Lassiter : Unlike everyone else around here, I'm not fooled by the fact that you wear grownup clothes, have mastered the rudimentary levels of communication, and somehow manage to feed yourselves. I see you for what you are: children. So do me a favor and let the grownups do their work.
Shawn Spencer : [points to his elbow] I got a boo-boo.
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Carlton Lassiter : But I'm warning you, if word of this little incident gets out at the station, I will start making things very difficult for you down there.
Shawn Spencer : You mean you haven't even been trying? All this time?
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Carlton Lassiter : I'm gonna get right over there.
Shawn Spencer : Uh-uh. No car, remember?
[they laugh]
Carlton Lassiter : You guys are so funny. Oh, guess what? I just got a new car.
[flashes his badge]
Carlton Lassiter : Yours.
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Carlton Lassiter : Alright, just keep your mouths shut, I don't want people to think anything's wrong. Morning, O'Connell. Schwartz. Dobson. Just rapping with the fellas, shooting the breeze.
Shawn Spencer : Sweet, now they'll just think it's 1974.
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[about Lassiter's "date"]
Carlton Lassiter : I am not going to engage in some sort of juvenile masculinity contest.
Shawn Spencer : He went by himself.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yeah.
Carlton Lassiter : [quickly] Her name was Polly Smith. 324 Sycamore Lane. We kissed. Ask her.
Shawn Spencer : [raises an eyebrow] Polly Smith?
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[Shawn tries to give the location of a chop shop]
Shawn Spencer : Victims! I see victims everywhere! It's horrible! So many parts strewn about! Fluids spewing in every direction!
Karen Vick : Oh, dear God!
Juliet O'Hara : Are you talking about a serial killer?
Shawn Spencer : I can see the victims' names. Accord! Look out!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Get out of there!
Shawn Spencer : Escalade! Don't let him in the door! Oh, Camry! You were too young to go!
Juliet O'Hara : Are we talking about cars?
Carlton Lassiter : STOLEN cars?
Shawn Spencer : Signal's too stong.
[grabs a printer]
Shawn Spencer : I'm getting chopsticks! Chopped salad?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : What?
[Shawn starts chopping the printer with his hands and pulls out the ink cartridge]
Shawn Spencer : Chop suey?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Good God!
Shawn Spencer : Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch?
[to Lassiter]
Shawn Spencer : Does that mean anything to you? Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch?
Juliet O'Hara : Chop shop!
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[Shawn learns Lassiter had a date]
Shawn Spencer : Now you have to dish. She blonde?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Brunette?
Shawn Spencer : Mail-order?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You sly dog!
Carlton Lassiter : Please. I am not going to engage in some sort of juvenile masculinity contest.
Shawn Spencer : [to Gus] He went by himself.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yeah.
Carlton Lassiter : [quickly] Her name was Polly Smith. 324 Sycamore Lane. We kissed. Ask her.
Shawn Spencer : [raises an eyebrow] Polly Smith?
