- Arles Struvie: And from our National news desk, "Nuclear Accident Imperils Millions... Texas Not Included"!
- Thurston Wheelis: Well, all right.
- Stanley Bumiller: Hell Pearl. You're crazy.
- Aunt Pearl Burras: Oh Stanley! Don't say that! I'm Not! Here puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy!
- Arles Struvie: Nickey wishes to quelch all the rumors that the judge was found dead in a woman's bikini swimsuit. He says there's no truth to that rumor whatsoever.
- Thurston Wheelis: It's not true.
- Arles Struvie: It's not.
- Thurston Wheelis: It's not.
- Arles Struvie: It's not. It's not. According to Nickey, it was a 1950's turquoise Dale Evans one-piece swimming suit with lots of cow-girl fringe. Services are pending at Hubert Funeral Home.
- Thurston Wheelis: Ain't that awful? Ain't that awful?
- Arles Struvie: Gahhh!