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Jacob Hays: I wanna win this guy some money because his kids are cute!
Jeff Foxworthy: You look like someone just gave you a wedgie!
Jeff Foxworthy: [about a 1st Grade spelling question] Remember, this is a question answered by 6 year olds; people who eat chocolate covered cereal.
Alana Etheridge: [while contestant carefully deliberates] Can you just pick an answer, man!
contestant's wife: I think he's really smart.
Jeff Foxworthy: Who, Eli Whitney or your husband?
Jeff Foxworthy: Looks like somebody had the cereal with the sugar on it this morning.
Jeff Foxworthy: You've been in 8 car accidents that you can *remember!* Who taught you to drive, Paris or Nicole?
Jeff Foxworthy: [to the first graduating class of 5th graders] We're giving each of you a $25,000 savings bond, and don't try to spend it all tonight on candy and video games.
Jeff Foxworthy: It's nice to know a superintendent gets an education from watching Rocky.
Jeff Foxworthy: You better win some money, I'm going to be in trouble if you don't.
Jeff Foxworthy: [to contestant] Your knees are shaking.
[to 5th grader]
Jeff Foxworthy: Your hands are shaking? You're as bad as me, you're just messing with her!
Gene Simmons: My name is Gene Simmons and I'm a rock god, but today I am not smarter than a 5th grader.
Jeff Foxworthy: How old do you have to be to join the army?
Gene Simmons: 18.
Jeff Foxworthy: How old do you have to be to drink?
Gene Simmons: 56 if you ask my kids.

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