- Stan Williams: After my wife cleaned me out I thought of little else but killing Lauren... but drowning was never an option, too humane.
- Will Jeffries: [creeped out] ... Really...
- Stan Williams: My fantasy was to bury her alive, scarabs feasting on her intestines!
- [Scotty and Will both exchange disturbed glances]
- Lauren Williams: [Gleeful and cruel voice] Ah, I thought you made your grand exit!
- Ginny Williams: [Disappointed] Snow's too deep.
- Lauren Williams: So, where's Matt?
- Ginny Williams: I sent him up to bed so he wouldn't be exposed to you.
- Stan Williams: [to Lauren] Isn't there a belfry somewhere you can hang upside-down from?
- Lauren Williams: Hmph. Now I'm the vampire?
- Tad Williams: If the cape fits!