30 Rock (TV Series)
The C Word (2007)
Tina Fey: Liz Lemon
Photos
Quotes
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Liz Lemon : We need to fire Lutz.
Pete Hornberger : What? Why? What happened?
Liz Lemon : He called me the worst name ever.
Frank Rossitano : What did he call you?
Liz Lemon : I'm not gonna repeat it. That's how much I hate it.
Pete Hornberger : Fat can?
Liz Lemon : No.
Frank Rossitano : Mouth hooker?
Liz Lemon : No.
Frank Rossitano : Monster bitch.
Pete Hornberger : Hatchet face.
Liz Lemon : No!
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Liz Lemon : [bursts into Jack's office] Oh, hey - false alarm! It turns out she *asked* him to take it out.
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Jack Donaghy : Liz, all the VPs will be angling to golf with Don Geiss, but my partner will be Tracy Jordan, his grandchildren's favorite movie star. Geiss will absolutely choose us, and that's a big deal because being in a foursome with this man can change your life.
Liz Lemon : You might want to rephrase that.
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[Liz comes upon Greta's box of kittens]
Liz Lemon : [excitedly] Look at these guys!
Greta Johanssen : Yeah, they like you! They're very good at sensing debilitating loneliness in a person.
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Pete Hornberger : You're just in reaction right now. You need to just take a few hours and calm down.
Liz Lemon : Don't tell me to calm down, you fungdark.
Pete Hornberger : Yeah, you're right; it doesn't work.
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Pete Hornberger : Oh, I get it. You're trying to be nice now 'cause of what Lutz said.
Liz Lemon : No, I'm not trying to be nice. I *am* nice. I'm a nice person, you bald, gangly -
[clears throat]
Liz Lemon : [pleasantly] I'm gonna try harder. I'm gonna try to be nice.
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[Toofer's cell phone rings]
Toofer : Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, Liz; I'm so sorry. I thought I turned it off.
Liz Lemon : No, Toofer, take the call. Come on; this isn't Hitler's bunker. That would make me Hitler!
[everyone looks]
Liz Lemon : What? This is the new me. Do you like the new me? And before you answer, Super Balls!
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Liz Lemon : Hey everybody, look! Sherlock Homo is here to solve the case of the gay sweater!
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[discussing the word Lutz called Liz]
Pete Hornberger : Well, you know, he was probably just blowing off steam. You can't fire a guy for cursing.
Liz Lemon : No, I - I'm not upset by cursing. I *love* cursing. I love it! But this word is not acceptable - no - because there's nothing you can call a guy back. There is no male equivalent to this word.
Pete Hornberger : Well, why don't we come up with one, and then you can call him that? Like, um, "muncus."
Frank Rossitano : "Fungdark."
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[discussing the word Lutz called Liz]
Liz Lemon : The one that rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album.
Frank Rossitano : It rhymes with "Hermit of Mink Hollow"?
Liz Lemon : No!
Pete Hornberger : Oh! Oh, boy.
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Liz Lemon : [after flashbacks] Oh, my God, I am! I'm a total...
Greta Johanssen : Runt! Runt! I lost my kitten. Has anyone seen my runt?
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Liz Lemon : Hey, Frank, wake up! You're not allowed to sleep through the topical meeting.