The Wedding Ringer (2015)

Kevin Hart: Jimmy Callahan, Bic

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jimmy : This is what you have to understand, Doug. Some people are just loners. It's that simple, man.

  Doug Harris : Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with, to go on a cool guy trip with.

  Jimmy : You've never been on a guy trip, Doug? Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that?

  Doug Harris : I never really had anyone to go with.

• Jimmy : It doesn't mean that we're not going to have a good time, Doug.

  Doug Harris : I said I got it. You're anybody's friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : Meet your groomsmen!

  [Doug looks at a bunch of strangers] 

  Doug Harris : These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!

• [from trailer] 

  Doug Harris : What exactly do you do?

  Jimmy : I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.

  Doug Harris : So, I'm not alone?

  Jimmy : Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year?

  Doug Harris : 2.4 million!

  Jimmy : That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : I'm assuming you made up a name for me?

  Doug Harris : Bic Mitchum.

  Jimmy : Do I wear a cape? "Hello, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic." "I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy!" "Bic Mitchum can have whatever he wants!"... I like it.

  [later on] 

  Paige : Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is... Bic Mitchum?

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer!

  Doug Harris : You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing!

  [a dance off ensues] 

• Bad Best Man : [walks on stage and starts beatboxing]  Haha, just kidding, just kidding. The moment Chris asked me to be his best man, I sat down and I wrote a pretty awesome speech. But, I don't know, I think I'd rather speak from the heart.

  [rips paper in half] 

  Jimmy : Oh, don't do that. Don't you rip that paper up. You never do that.

  Bad Best Man : Ah. You know, when Chris... Chris and I first met, we, um... uh, wha... Chris and I, um... have known each other since, uh... hah... Chris and I, you know, we, we did stuff together.

  [dry heaves] 

  Jimmy : He's gonna throw up on the fuckin' bride.

  Bad Best Man : And, um, Chris has been like a brother to me. Well, I... because my real brother died. Well, he didn't die immediately...

  Jimmy : No...

  Bad Best Man : They revived him in the ambulance, then he died later. Hah... uh... Adolf Hitler once said...

  Jimmy : Holy fucking shit.

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : God created the world in seven days. We gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time!