SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Pressure/The Smoking Peanut (2001)

Tom Kenny: SpongeBob, Seagull, Narrator, Gary

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the guys watch Sandy as she stands before them, without her suit and her protective helmet] 

  Mr. Krabs : Neptune preserve her!

  Squidward Tentacles : How long can she stay like that?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know!

  [a brief pause] 

  Patrick : Sandy's a girl?

• Patrick : Hey SpongeBob!

  [Spongebob screams in terror and his limbs and eyes pop off] 

  Patrick : This is it! All of the clues are coming together! I followed these footprints right to this exact spot and then right where you're standing, I found this bag of peanuts! Ha! I'm so close to solving this crime, I can almost taste it!

  [shows a closeup of Patrick's mouth as he licks what appears to be SpongeBob] 

  Patrick : [zooms out to reveal he's licking a Popsicle with Spongebob's skin pattern on it]  Boy fighting crime sure makes me hungry, and this yellow Popsicle hits the spot!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : OK, good luck with all that Patrick, and, um, I guess I'll see you later!

• Sandy Cheeks : [hears Clamu crying in the background]  Oh I can't stand it anymore! That poor, poor critter, what kind of inconsiderate person would upset such a gentle creature!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about Sandy

  Sandy Cheeks : Why, when I find out who caused that oyster so much pain, no more jiggery-pokery!

  [rips a phone book in half] 

  Sandy Cheeks : Now what was it you wanted to talk about SpongeBob?

  [Spongebob reacts nervously and starts twitching] 

  Sandy Cheeks : Hey SpongeBob how come you're all twitchy like that?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Twitchy? Twitchy? Who's twitchy? I'm not twitchy! Sorry Sandy, I have to, um... um... go get my hair cut!

  [He runs home] 

  Sandy Cheeks : SpongeBob doesn't have hair!... or does he?

  [reacts in disgust] 

• Sandy : I'm a squirrel, see.

  [Points to a logo of an acorn on her suit] 

  SpongeBob : I thought that meant you were nuts?

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother. And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg.

• SpongeBob SquarePants : You know what that cloud reminds me of?

  Sandy : What?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : A flower.

  Sandy : SpongeBob, they all look like flowers. All the time.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : They sure do.

• Police fish : [to Spongebob]  Were you at the zoo on the day of the oyster incident?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [nervously]  Y-Yes!

  [his upper body drops into his pants] 

  Police fish : Did you, or did you not take part in various activities of zoo-time merriment?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Yes...

  Police fish : And are you familiar with this peanut?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [his pants rip open and his body parts fall out]  Yes!

  Police fish : One more question... Is it true that you were at the oyster's lair with a Mr. Patrick Star?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [cries]  Yes, yes, it's true!, it's all true!, the merriment, the peanut, the Patrick!

  Police fish : That's all we need to know son. Book him!

  [puts handcuffs on Patrick] 

  Patrick : Wow you guys are good, I'm the last person I would've expected, but I was looking for me all the time!, It's the perfect crime!

• Sandy : I'm from the surface world and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good old dry land.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [laughs]  Land, shmand. It's all about finger strength baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength.

  [flexes his fingers like muscles] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : What do you say to that, miss mittens?

  Sandy : [climbing up the cliff]  I'd say I'm already halfway there!

• SpongeBob SquarePants : [about to race Sandy]  Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?

  Sandy : Why don't you ask my behind? That is if you can catch it! What do you say to that, hydro pants?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [recording on record player]  I'd say I'm already halfway there!

  [gets stuck on "halfway there"] 

  Sandy : [gasps as she notices SpongeBob at the bottom of the cliff]  Hey!

• [SpongeBob knocks on Squidward's door and calls to him] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward? Squidward! Oh, Squidward!

  Squidward Tentacles : SpongeBob, do you have to knock so loudly?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Sorry, neighbor.

  [Squidward massages his head] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Oh, that overgrown clam is giving me a headache! I can't even take my afternoon beauty nap!

  [SpongeBob laughs nervously] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Funny thing you should mention that old oyster, because I, uh, was kinda... wondering, eh... L-let's say I know this guy who may have something to do with the oyster.

  [Squidward's face lights up] 

  Squidward Tentacles : You mean you know the guy who did it?

  [SpongeBob gulps] 

  Squidward Tentacles : Oh, this is great! You and I can go turn him in! And then I'll get so much sleep, I'll be gorgeous!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Actually, I'm- I'm just talking hypothetically.

  Squidward Tentacles : [sullenly]  You mean you don't know who did it?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Well... eh, I-eh... No!

  [Squidward slams the door in SpongeBob's face] 

• Zoo Keeper : [SpongeBob and Patrick are about to be pelted with peanuts]  Wait! Here's the real criminal!

  [drags out Mr. Krabs] 

  Mr. Krabs : Uh, top of the morning?

  [his fake mustache falls off] 

  SpongeBob : Mr. Krabs!

  [the crowd gasps] 

  Patrick : I knew it!

  Zoo Keeper : Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster!

  [inadvertently takes off Krabs' clothes] 

  Zoo Keeper : Behold!

  [crowd groans in disgust] 

  Zoo Keeper : Wait a minute. Behold! The oyster's pearl!