Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Teenagers from Outer Space (1992)

Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester

Quotes 

• Leader : We are the supreme race! We have the supreme weapons!

  Crow T. Robot : Turn Rush Limbaugh off!

• Crow T. Robot : Oh. Well, I'm glad you found it. This is a special report card my partner Tom and I developed for expensive private academies, because, Joel, privilege has its own odor. What do you think, sirs?

  TV's Frank : Joel! Grades aren't important... it's the SAT's that count. Well, now the good doctor and I would like to make a prediction about the next big trend in entertainment. Move over comedy clubs, move over trendy discussion salons, move over karaoke bars, here comes ventriloquism! Big, broad, sassy, and brassy. And now Deep 13, in association with George Slaughter Productions, would like to present the ventriloquistic stylings of Dr. Clayton Forrester and his lovable sidekick, Resusci-Annie.

  Dr. Forrester : Hello, uh, this is Resusci-Annie. We secured over two thousand of these previously-owned CPR demonstration dolls and retrofitted them with ventriloquist animations in anticipation of the ventriloquist boom of the '90s. And without further ado, uh, it's time to sit back and laugh and learn with Resusci-Annie. Heehee. Say hello to the nice folks, Resusci. Hello, nice folks. Resusci, I implore you to be kind and courteous to these well-meaning and clean, uh, people here today. I wanna go find some chicks. Heh, but Resusci, you is a chick! I said Resusci, you is a chick! Uh, Frank something's wrong. This looks like the big one... I'll revive Resusci and tell Joel about the movie, you dial 911 while drinking water. Your film today, Joel, is a little film which stars no one. It features a giant lame lobster and oh... breathe two, three, four. It's called "Teenagers from Outer Space" and it is a spunky load of noodles.

• Crow T. Robot : You know, Joel, that old grandpa guy sure was nice to the teenager from outer space by letting him stay in the apartment without having him pay a rent until he got work. A real-life landlord would never do that.

  Tom Servo : Why yes, things that happen in the movies are different from what happens in real life.

  Joel : Right, Tom, so from our "Look at the Lighter Side Department," we'd like to introduce a new segment called Reel to Real. Check it out, move aside, guys. In reel life...

  Tom Servo : You are offered free room and board until you can pay off your rent.

  Joel : And in real life...

  Crow T. Robot : If you are late with one payment, your room is padlocked, and you end up living in a refrigerator box.

  Joel : In reel life...

  Tom Servo : Your roomate is a beautiful woman, who fills your life with afternoon swims, moonlit drives, and the promise of romance.

  Joel : And in real life...

  Crow T. Robot : Your roomate is a stinky high school dropout, who fills your life with lice, crusty socks, and burnt cans of Spaghettio's.

  Joel : In reel life...

  Tom Servo : Your landlord is a rosy-cheeked, cheerful old man.

  Joel : And in real life...

  Crow T. Robot : Your landlord is a butane addict, who sneaks into your room, and searches through your underwear drawer.

  Joel : In reel life...

  Tom Servo : There is a big fat drunk guy sleeping on your couch.

  Joel : And in real life...

  Crow T. Robot : There is a big fat drunk guy sleeping on your couch.